


Welcome to Oblivion

by LinaBenliven



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Abuse, Abusive Nyma, Abusive Relationships, Abusive Rolo, Airplane Crashes, Allura and Lance are Siblings, Alternate Universe, Amputee Shiro, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Big Brother Shiro (Voltron), Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Dad Shiro (Voltron), Emotional Abuse, F/M, Feels, Female Pidge | Katie Holt, Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Heterosexual Hunk (Voltron), Human Allura (Voltron), Hunay, Hunk & Lance (Voltron) Friendship, Hunk & Pidge | Katie Holt Friendship, Hurt Lance (Voltron), I am a broken mess, I'm Sorry, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Insecure Lance (Voltron), Keith & Pidge | Katie Holt Friendship, Keith (Voltron) is Bad at Feelings, Keith (Voltron) loves Hippos, Lance (Voltron) Angst, Lance (Voltron) is a Mess, Lance (Voltron)-centric, Langst, M/M, Mom Allura (Voltron), Multiple chapters, Nyma (Voltron) Cheated on Lance, Nyma works for Lotor, Orphan Keith (Voltron), Orphan Shiro (Voltron), POV Alternating, POV First Person, POV Multiple, Platonic Matt Holt/Shiro, Platonic Matt/Keith, Platonic Relationships, Platonic Shatt, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rape, Rape/Non-con Elements, Rolo works for Lotor, Sexual Abuse, Shiro (Voltron) Has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Slow Build, Slow Burn Keith/Lance (Voltron), Socially Awkward Keith (Voltron), Threats of Rape/Non-Con, Welcome To Oblivion, diner au, domestic abuse, everyone is angsty, loose__bolt, sensitive content, shallura - Freeform, slowburn, this has killed me
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-09
Updated: 2017-09-05
Packaged: 2018-11-29 21:26:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 52,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11449365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LinaBenliven/pseuds/LinaBenliven
Summary: Our lives are rarely as black and white as we want them to be. Things change and people aren't who or what we want them to be.But that doesn't mean we give up on them. Even if everyone else can see that that one person will never change.After all, they love us right?





	1. The Ghost Of You - Keith

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Playlist for this fic is here:  
> https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLxlHtXmDflCNTfEW2YmhPpwLyhfDcK4j_

 “What do you mean Shiro is gone?” My voice comes out as a whisper as I look at the Matt in front of me. He had to be joking. He hadn’t gone, he couldn’t have gone. I bite my lip and look at my hands. My old habits kicking in again from when I got scolded for fighting against other children. It hadn’t mattered who had started it. All that it had mattered was that I had continued the fight. Not the bruises and cuts covering my skin.

“Shiro’s gone Keith. He discharged himself from the hospital.” Matt says and I look at him as the words he had said slowly sunk in. The ginger male had been fairly quiet in the days since he had woken up. He had told his parents and us what he remembered, but neither Katie or me had wanted to push him any further. Not when Katie had the black box from the plane, amongst several other parts of the plane, sat waiting for her at home. She would find out the truth. I had faith that she would. So instead me and Katie had stayed by our brother’s side.

We had slept here, me in Shiro’s room and Katie in Matt’s room. I hadn’t wanted to leave and refused to move when the nurses had tried to get me to sleep in my own room. The only time I had left Shiro was to go to toilet or to check on Matt while nurses checked on Shiro. And the minute the nurses had left I was back at Shiro’s side, sitting on a far too uncomfortable hospital chair, lost in my own thoughts and listening to the beeping of the machines that assured me he was still alive.

One of the nurses had eventually taken pity on Katie and me, bringing us some spare pillows and blankets so that we weren’t uncomfortable on the floor. It had taken Katie several seconds to settle down in the makeshift bed before fallen asleep next to her brother. It had taken me several hours before I had felt even remotely tired. And in those several hours, I had checked on Shiro several times. Just needing to check that he was still breathing and still alive.

I had lost so many things during my life that I couldn’t deal with the thought of losing Shiro. He had been a big part of my life for so long, and the fact that he had nearly been taken away from me hurt. He had been the only person in the orphanage that had bothered to talk to me when we had both been there. And he had nearly been taken away from me because he had told me he didn’t need me as a pilot for his recent flight. That they were going to test Katie’s autopilot system without a pilot on board. Knowing that we had tested it many times with a pilot on board, I understood the need to test it without me there as a safety measure. But as I think about Shiro and the state he was in, I can’t help but think that I should have acted on the terrible feeling I had had that day.

_I should have insisted on going._

The thought had stuck with me these past few weeks and I wanted more than anything to go back in time and fix that mistake. Maybe then Shiro would have both his arms. Maybe then him and Matt wouldn’t be injured. Maybe then Katie and me wouldn’t feel so guilty.

I knew why the younger Holt sibling felt guilty. She had designed the autopilot system that had been used on their flight, and injured both Matt and Shiro. It had failed, yet Katie hadn’t had the time or the energy to go and check her programming. She had told me that once Matt was discharged she was _definitely_ going to check it. I had told her that it didn’t matter, that we couldn’t undo what had happened but the smaller girl had cried and just said she **_had_** to do something. I understood that need. The need to do something to help, to make sure that it hadn’t been my fault. But I couldn’t think of anything that I could say or do that would help Katie feel better. So I hadn’t said anything.

And when Shiro had woken up I hadn’t said anything. I didn’t know what to say. Instead I had just started to cry. I had cried with relief that my brother was okay. That he was _alive._ He hadn’t tried to stop me crying, instead that he made a terrible pun about being never being right anymore. I had cried more, but there had been a small smile on my face. I had missed Shiro’s puns as terrible as they were, and hearing him make one made me feel utter relief. I had missed his voice so much.

I had gone and told Katie and Matt while the nurses checked Shiro over. Then we got told that his left arm may not even work and they wouldn’t know until after he had gone to physical therapy for an assessment. We all had waited patiently for the verdict and the minute we had been told that his left arm had little to no mobility; Katie had gone home. She had said something about working on something to help and I had gotten angry, leaving Matt to calm me down.

He had made a relatively quick job of doing so. By holding me close and telling me that this was Katie’s way of processing what had happened. His arms wrapped around my chest making sure I didn’t hurt myself or someone else. Just like Shiro had told him too.

I hadn’t seen or talked to her since. It had been weeks since then.

“Have you told Katie that he’s gone?” I ask, once my disbelief that Shiro would be so stupid as to leave has largely vanished. I can feel what was left of my disbelief slowly turning to anger reminding me of the angry little kid I had been when Shiro had first met me. I had tried so hard to not be that kid anymore, and yet here I was being exactly that.

“Not yet, she’s still at home working.” Matt says and I notice the sadness in his voice. Matt had taken himself off to his apartment to recover mentally and emotionally as most of the superficial injuries he had received from the crash had healed. I had kept him up to date on Shiro’s progress but, I didn’t really discuss anything else with him.

_I had nothing else to discuss with him._

Shiro was the only thing important in my life. He was my employer and my older brother. He was the one who promised to look after me after everyone else gave up. He had reassured me that I did have a family when I got upset when yet another potential adoption for me fell through because they learned that I liked to fight a bit too much. And with me spending all my time by his side I had nothing else to talk about. I hadn’t known whether to ask Matt if he was okay, as he generally played it off with a joke, or if he felt better just in case it reminded him of why I wasn’t there in person. So, I had kept my updates as brief as possible, in the hopes of that being what was best for Matt.

“Then let’s go tell her.” I say before picking up my jacket off the hospital chair I had left it strewn over. I had had the red, fake motorbike jacket since I had met Shiro, and it was only recently that it had begun to fit me properly. Part of the reason being the muscle mass I had finally accumulated from working out with Shiro. So, if I couldn’t have my brother, I was going to have my jacket with me until I had him back, just so that he was always with me.

~~~*~~~

The drive to the Kerberos Enterprise labs was quiet. I didn’t feel like talking and my car didn’t have music that both me and Matt enjoyed. Not that Matt had tried to initiate any conversation himself. But, somehow it didn’t seem to be uncomfortable silence. Matt and me never seem to have uncomfortable silences. Possibly because we had been friends ever since Shiro had become friends with him.

Shiro had introduced us shortly after he had met him at college. He had explained to me that he wanted to start an aerospace engineering and space tech company, but to do so he needed to meet people with experiences in those departments. He had found Sam and Colleen Holt, and their genius children Matt and Katie. When he explained several of his initial ideas the Holt family had gotten very excited about them and put him in contact with several other people they had worked with over the years. Thus, Kerberos Enterprises was born and it was doing very well for itself. Enough to warrant them recruiting engineers and astronautic specialists from local colleges for graduate and intern work and quickly becoming one of the leading names in its departments.

It had done so well in fact that when I had realised that my original dream of being an astronaut meant a lot of time away from Shiro and as a result had dropped out; he had hired me there. He had made sure that I was able to learn to fly planes through the company’s flight school and upon my graduation he had made me _his_ pilot. A title I had been so happy to have. And although the development of Katie’s autopilot system had threatened to take this title away from me; I hadn’t been mad. In fact, I had helped her with it when she explained some of the benefits it could have in commercial uses, and how she was certain that I wouldn’t lose my title of Shiro’s pilot. I had believed Katie’s judgement on that.

But, after the way she had left when Shiro needed us, I think her judgement was in question. Not that I wanted to question the younger Holt on her behaviour, she could be rather angry and blunt when she wanted to be. And I didn’t want to question Matt either because he would tell me that Katie was just like that sometimes. I had known Katie as long as I had known Matt, the three of us had bonded over a conspiracy theory about our governments knowledge of aliens, much to Shiro’s dismay. And suddenly my family grew from just Shiro and me, to Katie, Matt, Sam, Colleen, Shiro and me. All four of the Holts would listen to me ramble as they worked, occasionally telling me their views on the subject. But during the entire time I had known her; Katie had never shut herself off the way she had after the crash. And naturally, it worried me a great deal.

I look over as I hear the chime that went off when Matt had typed the numerical code to get into Katie’s workspace and I blink seeing that it was rather devoid of projects scattered around her lab. Normally the younger girl worked on several projects all at once, saying that it helped in case she got stuck on one project, she could work on another until she solved whatever had made her stuck. However, her workspace only seemed to have one project in sight today. I wasn’t sure what it was but it looked like there was charts of human anatomy and numerous measurements mapped onto her blackboard. Further proving to me that she wasn’t acting herself, her droid that normally followed her around as she worked was turned off and sat to one side. I hadn’t seen that droid turned off since she had built him. I follow Matt with my eyes as he walks to Katie who’s sat at her computer. Last time I had tried to stop her from working she had punched me in the gut. Shiro and Matt had laughed.

“Pidge. Can you stop this for a second? Need to talk.” Matt says after taking Katie’s headphones off her. I sit down on one of the stools off to the side and fold my arms slightly. I didn’t want to get too involved with Katie and Matt’s conversation. Mainly because if she was as upset as Matt seemed to think she was about Shiro being injured, I could see her crying when Matt told her that Shiro was now missing. And I was not good when anyone cried.

“Matt can this wait, I need to get this done.” Her response is and I see her hit a few more keys on her keyboard before Matt pulls the chair away from her desk. “Matt! This is important!” She shouts and looks up at her brother with such a petulant expression.

“And so is this Katie!” Matt shouts back and I notice her expression changes. I had heard Matt shout angrily on two occasions that I remember. One had been when he was extremely overworked and overtired and someone had stolen his pizza bites from the Kerberos cafeteria microwave. And the other was when someone had catcalled Katie on the street shortly after I had met them both. But hearing him now, this is a different kind of angry.

This is _I’ve just lost my best friend_ anger.

“Okay, you have my attention go.” Katie seems to recognise that this is different to Matt’s teasing shouts. That he hasn’t pulled her away from whatever code she had been working on for fun or for food. That this was actually serious.

“Shiro’s missing. Discharged himself from hospital and he’s not at his place or answering his phone.” Matt manages to say without breaking down, although he does look very close to doing so. But it’s the younger ginger’s reaction that both worries and astounds me; s _he doesn’t seem to react at all._ Silence falls in Katie’s lab until her computer beeps and my attention turns to that.

“Katie…why did it beep?” I ask, trying to pull both Holt siblings back to reality. Maybe once she wasn’t distracted by the need to finish her task she would answer? Matt shoots me a look as Katie slides across the floor back to her desk and scrolls through what’s on the computer screen. I shrug, hoping the gamble pays off, before we both turn to her when she sighs.

“What is it?” Matt asks as he crosses to his sister. He looks concerned, yet I don’t move from my spot.

“The autopilot system…someone tampered with it. It wasn’t my fault…” Katie looks about to cry and so does Matt. But for me that means something different. It was brilliant that Katie no longer felt responsible for the crash. But, it made my guilt over not insisting that I go anyway even more soul crushing. If I had gone… Shiro wouldn’t be missing.

“You need to get the technicians to take it off all the planes though… just in case.” I say softly and both Holt siblings turn to me, before nodding in agreement.

“We will.” Matt says softly before flashing me a reassuring smile. As if sensing that I was getting crushed underneath my own guilt.

“You said Shiro has vanished?”

“He’s just vanished Pidge, could you track him down?” Matt asks and I smile when she stares at him, as though he’s an idiot. It was a look I got a lot but I didn’t mind. It was usually about a topic I had some interest in, but I enjoyed having her explain it to me. Just like I had enjoyed having Shiro teach me about the stars.

“Of course I can, but what do you want me to do when I find him? Go to him and slap him because that’s what I want to do when I find him.” She says as she starts typing frantically at the computer. I had always been amazed at the speed she typed. Like a hamster on cocaine, was what Matt had said before. Something that had amused me for weeks.

“Pidge, you can look for him, but don’t do anything if you find him.” Matt says after a few minutes of deliberation. I see Katie frown and she’s not the only one. I too wanted to slap Shiro for vanishing. But. I don’t express this straight away, wanting to see what Matt suggests before I get annoyed.

“But!”

“No Pidge, tell me and Keith and we’ll decide what to do together.” Matt’s voice is stern, and I’m not used to hearing that tone from him. Shiro is the stern one out of the pair, not Matt.

“I’m with Katie. I want to slap him.” I say softly and I hear Matt sigh. And in one instant he goes back to being the Matt I’m used to as his facial expression.

“I get why, but can we agree that no violence until we find him and he’s explained why he left?” Matt compromises after a few minutes and while I don’t like that plan it is the one that makes sense. I knew Shiro would apologise for leaving, it was in his nature to do so. But I think I’m more hurt that he left without any warning. If he had told me, maybe I would feel less annoyed?

“Sure.” Katie and me say, albeit a little reluctantly. Something that Matt shoots us both a look at before ruffling his hair out of frustration.

“Please god let it be soon, I don’t want to be the dad of the group.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh god this fic will kill me. Welcome to the first chapter of "Welcome to Oblivion". It's based of an au prompt that "@loose__bolt" wrote on instagram and I just wanted to write a fic for it so badly. Lauren has killed me with the prompt and I am honoured to be writing this fic - even if it will be the death of me.
> 
> A couple of things:  
> 1) This fic is an emotional rollercoaster. The next chapter especially. Please bear that in mind. It makes me sad writing it, and I know what's coming next.
> 
> 2) There will be at least one chapter a week. You may get more than one sometimes, but it depends how much I can write. Please don't nag at me to update; it makes me less likely to want to update.
> 
> 3) If you have read it on instagram, don't spoil what happens next, or ask where certain parts are. I have missed some parts out simply because I think they would work better later on and when I have 45 pages of notes; sometimes I can't include everything in. But I am trying :)
> 
> 4) I name chapters and titles of all my fics after songs. It's a tradition I don't want to break. As a result the title of the fic is named after "Welcome To Oblivion" by Madina Lake. And the chapter - "The Ghost Of You" by My Chemical Romance. Please check these songs out :)
> 
> I hope you enjoyed it, and please comment on it - it helps me know what you're all thinking <3


	2. Blue Roses - Lance

The first thing I feel when I walk into Nyma and Rolo’s apartment is the overwhelming sense of despair. The marks that she had left last night throb as though they know that this is where they had been inflicted. It hurt. Everything hurt. My mind hurt. My body hurt and my heart hurt. But I came back. I always came back. Whether it was because I knew I should be thankful someone as beautiful as Nyma was interested in someone as pathetic and worthless as myself.

The apartment is quiet but I can hear the kettle whistling so I knew one of them was in at least. Then I hear them both quietly talking. It was worse when they were both here. It hadn’t always been but since Rolo had gotten involved when I hadn’t seen her all day a few weeks ago; it was worse. I didn’t know Rolo’s routine for me. He was stronger. I didn’t know what he was going to do. I know what Nyma was going to do. She would hit and twist my limbs, make me have constellations of bruises. The only time she liked seeing me in blue. Rolo was unpredictable.

“Hello?” I call out as I put my key to their place into the key pot. I refuse to call it our place. I hated being here. I only tolerated it because Nyma wouldn’t come to my place.  I only stayed here when she was gone on her trips with Rolo but I would much rather be at my place. Where I felt _safe._

“Lance honey you’re back.” I hear her sickly sweet voice from the kitchen and I instinctively gulp before I take my bag and coat off. I hated the clothes her and Rolo had bought me. They itched. But I loved _her_ , so I wore them. If only to see that happy face when I obeyed her.

“Yeah, my lesson was cancelled.” I say before I feel her fingers curl around my wrist tightly. I knew that action. That meant that she usually wanted something from me. Something I never wanted to give.

She drags me through to Rolo in the kitchen and when I flinch at the kettle screeching to say it’s boiled; he grins. It sends shivers down my spine and I know that whatever they wanted to happen was going to happen. I hated that about this.

_But I love Nyma._

“Lance honey.” My attention shifts as Nyma talks and she twirls one of her ponytails around her fingers as she smiles. I loved that smile of hers. Her eyes lit up and she looked beautiful. But, I couldn’t interrupt her to tell her that because if I did she would get mad at me. “Rolo and me have to leave soon on a trip, and we’re both a bit stressed can you be a good boy?” She coos and I feel my stomach do flips. I knew what she wanted. I knew it was going to happen no matter if I said no.  I got everything that I deserved and more.

“Of course…” Is my reply and I feel Rolo’s fingers snake around my wrist. His touch was different. It wasn’t as rough, but it felt worse. It felt so much worse. His touch made me feel like I was going to be sick. I didn’t love _him._ He had no right to touch me the way I did. But, I love _her,_ and because she wants him to touch me this way; I’ll let him.

“Good, now let’s get you on the bed.” She purrs and my body lurches as they tug me to mine and Nyma’s bedroom. The bedroom Rolo _shouldn’t be in_. but he was always here. Watching. Laughing. Teasing. I don’t resist as I’m thrown onto the bed. If I didn’t want this I would push them away. That was what they always said. And I would. But I love Nyma, so I don’t push her away and I don’t push Rolo away.

Between the two of them my clothes come off quickly and I feel Nyma’s lips on mine. I don’t resist at her touch as Rolo pulls my trousers and boxers off my ankles. My skin crawls as he starts to stroke down my back and ass. Admiring the bruises Nyma had made last night. Just like he did every night. I pull away from the kiss to breath and Nyma pulls me down on top of her, forcing me inside her. I feel myself going numb, too used to this sequence of events. It was easier to go numb.

“Ignore Rolo honey, you said we could share you remember?” _I don’t remember._ I nod at her and then cry out as Rolo forces himself inside me. “Shush you baby.” She snaps and Rolo covers my mouth with his rugged hands. I was used to not speaking. I just wanted this over with. I hated it. But the more obedient I was the quicker it was over.

“He’s giving in Nyma.” _Don’t. Don’t talk about me like I can’t hear you._

“I know, it’s because he loves this, right honey?” _I don’t. I love you._ I nod, and with that, Rolo begins thrusted hard into me.

~~~~*~~~~

 _I love her. I love her. I love her. I love her. I love her. I love her. I love her. I love her. I love her._ It repeats over and over in my head after the pair of them had left for their trip. She had dismissed my questions about where they were going, or what they were doing, with a smack to my head. I didn’t need to know. I had wanted to. But I didn’t _need_ to know. She left me with an expression of her love towards me and I believe her. She had chosen me over Rolo after all. She could have had him, but she chose **_me._** I didn’t know why she had chosen me but she had. Which meant that she had to love me. There had to be something making her stay with me. It wasn’t my looks. So, it **_must_** be her love for me.

I pull myself up off the bed and limp to the shower. I had a shift at the diner I needed to get ready for. I had Hunk to see. And Allura. I _needed_ to see them. Otherwise they would think something was wrong. They would blame Nyma. It’s not Nyma’s fault that I didn’t listen to her. She only wanted what was best for me after all.

_If someone is hurting you physically, mentally, or emotionally and refuses to change; leave them._

The words of the mother who had picked her son up from my apartment this morning run through my head and I bite my lip. That didn’t apply to Nyma did it? No. she was helping me. She was making sure that I was healthy and that I would live a full life.

_She was helping me. Not hurting me._

I step into the shower and relax as the water flows over the bruises and marks. I don’t scrub at my skin. It was a fruitless endeavour. It wouldn’t stop me feeling dirty and used. It just made the bruises ache more and take longer to heal. Instead I let the flow of the water ease my aching muscles. And slowly the flow of water relaxes my mind. Reminding me that everything is okay. That Nyma is gone for a while. That I wouldn’t feel the ache for a while. That everything will be okay. That I wold be okay.

~~~~*~~~~

Sunrise Diner. Just seeing it made me feel a lot more relaxed. I knew neither Nyma or Rolo would follow me here. Rolo because he didn’t care, and Nyma because she hated how fat Hunk’s food made me. Not that I minded, it was nice to have a second spot where I was free from them. Even if coming here was something Nyma didn’t approve of. I needed some way to pay for rent and this was it.

I wander through to the kitchen and smile seeing Allura and Hunk talking. It was after seven at night and we never got many people during this time, which meant the three of us had time to talk in between the few customers we got. I grab the apron and tie it around my waist before checking I had my order book and pen in the pocket.

“Hey guys.” I say before walking over to them. They both smile softly seeing me and I can see both their eyes scanning over the exposed flesh for bruises. Bruises that I had covered with makeup despite Nyma hating it. However, she was gone. I could do that if I wanted. She wouldn’t know and it stopped my friends worrying about me. Which was why Nyma had tried to limit her bruises and injuries to parts of my body always covered by clothes. Rolo however, had no such reason to try and limit his injuries to my body.

Allura hugs me loosely as Hunk keeps flipping the egg and I sit next to my sister. I know Hunk generally made food for us all but wouldn’t tell us what it was. He claimed the surprise was so much better for us and I never argued with Hunk when it came to food. Allura had at first, but that had been because she had been on a very strict diet. It was a diet neither me nor Hunk thought she needed to be on, but we offered to help her with her diet as best we could. And once we had helped; Allura had accepted letting Hunk cook and enjoyed his food.

“What you cooking Hunk?” I ask and lean into Allura’s hug. She made me feel safe and I had missed hugging my sister. She hadn’t appreciated Nyma in my life but when she had discovered that I wasn’t shifting on the fact that I love her, she had stopped asking me about it. But, I knew she still hated the fact I was with Nyma.

“Just a simple egg sandwich, want one?” Hunk says, smiling when he sees us hugging. He dishes up the sandwich and slides it to Allura. He too had done what Allura had. He disliked me seeing Nyma, but knew that I was stubborn and refused to give up on my love. So, he too had dropped the subject.

“Of course.” I loved Hunk’s egg sandwiches. He always managed to get it so when you popped the yolk it leaked. I had never managed to do that. I had only met Hunk that knew how to do that. He had tried to teach me, but I could never do it. Within three minutes Hunk is sliding me a sandwich and I feel so much better for eating. It was the first thing I had eaten today, and it felt good.

We sit and talk for a while, until we hear the door to the diner open, I stand up immediately, claiming to have got this one and blink seeing the man in front of me. He was absolutely stunning. His hair messy, and shirt dishevelled. Scars across his face and one sleeve is flat and empty. Yet, the man clearly looks lost, so I decide to ignore his appearance and focussed on serving him.

“Hello, welcome to Sunrise Dinner, table for one?” I say as I cross to him, picking up a menu as I walk. I keep my eyes focused on him, hoping that it would make him feel more comfortable. He must get people staring all the time, I wanted to make sure that he had a nice time here. After all the diner was my safe haven, so I wanted to make a safe haven for other people too.

“Oh, yes thank you.” His voice shows his surprise at just how much I’m treating him as a normal person and it saddens me slightly. I got the feeling he was an extremely nice person; he was just a bit down on his luck at the minute. Smiling as I lead him to the booth furthest from the door, I vow to make him smile before he leaves the diner.

“Shall I get you some water while you look over the menu?” I say as he sits down. I’m already sliding the menu to him as I talk and I notice he makes an effort to maintain eye contact with me. Whether it was out of politeness or just habit I smile as he nods and I skip off to make his drink.

I didn’t know how much mobility he had in his other arm, but with the other missing, I assumed it wasn’t much. That and as he sat down he hadn’t put his hand on the table to make it easier. He had just struggled and sat down. It meant he probably couldn’t lift a cup if I gave him it, so I grab a glass of water and a straw before walking back to the table.

“Here we go.” I say as I put the glass down before adding the straw with a flourish, as though I did this all the time. “Take your time ordering, our cook won’t mind.” I say and go to turn when he coughs.

“I know what I want.” He says and I blink, but pull out my notepad ready to write it down.

“Oh, you do? Well then I’ll take your order.”

“Strawberry Cheesecake please.”

“Excellent choice.” I smile warmly as I write it down and head back to the kitchen. I look through the fridge were all our cakes were and smile seeing a slice left in the fridge. The mystery man outside was lucky we had some left, Allura normally ate any leftover cheesecake. I pick a fork up as I walk back out and I smile when I reach him again.

“There we go sir. One strawberry cheesecake. If you need anything else, just shout.” I say with a grin as I put the plate down. I decide not to ask if he needed help. He could probably manage it, after all he had gotten himself here. And his accent wasn’t one of this town, so I think he could hold his own. I blink noticing him reading my nametag and I shift so that it’s easier for him to see.

“Thanks Lance, I will do.”

Several hours later I was the only worker left in the diner. Allura and Hunk had both left to do some assignments and I was left to clean and lock up. It’s as I’m wiping down the booths that I notice that the mystery man from earlier was still there. I had taken his plate away when he had asked for another drink of water, but he was just sat looking out the window.

“Sir, do you have anywhere to go?” I call out as I moved to his table to clean that with the wet dish towel. Was he going to join the list of people that had stayed in my apartment when they had had nowhere else to go? Possibly. He still looked lost, but if I could help him, I wanted to do so. But as I answer that question something seems to dawn on the man next to me.

“No I don’t, do you know where the nearest hotel is?” He asks softly and I let out a small laugh. A genuine laugh as I pass him his bill so he could pay.

“My mama would kill me if I let you sleep in a hotel. Come stay with me Takashi.” I say as I see the name he signs the bill with. It’s shaky and hard to decipher, but years of reading my younger siblings writing meant I had practice with it. “It’s free of charge, I’ll even make pancakes in the morning, you seem like a pancake kind of person.” I say with a smile and when Takashi hesitates once again I look at the floor.

Three minutes’ pass before he speaks and I grin when he does; _“Sure. Lead the way Lance.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Told you, it was an emotional rollercoaster.  
> Lance is a difficult one for me to write due to my own personal experiences, but he is the most vivid for me :) Don't worry i hate Nyma and Rolo probably just as much as you all do right now  
> Song for this chapter is "Blue Roses" by Flyleaf.
> 
> The next Chapter is done, and will be up after Sunday


	3. The Night We Met - Matt

I awake with a scream and I take several deep heavy breaths when I see that I was still in my own apartment. Not in the plane like I had thought I was during my nightmare. It was both a relief and slightly upsetting if I was honest. On one hand it was good because I realised that I was at home, _safe._ But on the other hand, I was at home; _alone._

I had offered to have Shiro stay here while he recovered, but as I clutch at the sheets on my bed I realise what a bad idea that would have been. This hadn’t been the first night I had woke up screaming for my best friend. Yet as I look at the mirror opposite my bed, and stare at the blurry image of myself; I know that it would be worse if Shiro was here. If he was here I would be screaming for him to come to me, so that I could check that he was still here. But when he’s not here I’m screaming to the void. I’m screaming to make myself snap out of it. And it worked.

But deep down I know that it wouldn’t be different if anyone else stayed with me. I had ignored mum and dads pleas to recover at home because I wanted to be close to the hospital in case Shiro or Keith needed me. Keith had been giving me updates daily and while I was appreciative; I wish he would talk to me about something other than Shiro. Talking just about Shiro made me realise how guilty I felt about believing his lie about the parachutes. Something I couldn’t forgive myself for, or him for lying to me.

I understood this was hard for Keith, nearly losing his brother was an extremely momentous thing to deal with. And I know I would be the exact same if I had nearly lost Pidge the way we had all nearly lost Shiro. But when it left me with no one to talk to, it made me sadder than I needed to be right now. I was hurting just as much as Shiro was after all, just not physically. All my wounds were mental and emotional. Hard to see and just as hard to heal. And having Keith be distant, and Pidge refusing to come out of her work room left me incredibly lonely.

I jump as I hear a knock at my door and I slip my glasses off before wandering through to my front door. Had I woken another neighbour with my screams? The thought makes me almost desperate to not open the door. I didn’t want to deal with an angry neighbour especially given my current attire of boxers and a baggy shirt. It made me look smaller than I was and I had only picked it because of the comfort aspect of the outfit.

I look through the peephole in the door, praying that it was just Mrs Franklin bringing me some more food and not the behemoth that lived in the flat opposite mine and blink seeing a woman that I had seen collecting her mail on a handful of occasions. She was pretty, and someone that I had only ever seen; I had yet to hear her talk. I had no clue where she lived just that it was in this building. So, I was confused as to why she was on my doorstep.

I unlock the door and blink seeing her without the distorted view of the peephole. Now that I truly looked at her I realised just how beautiful she was up close. Her hair that when I had seen her before had been in pigtails was now in two long plaits and I look up at her nervously. I had clearly woken her up, she was dressed in similar attire to myself and as I come to that conclusion; I go to apologise.

“Are you okay dear?” Her voice is soft, yet it has an accent that I can’t determine. All I can determine is that she isn’t mad at me for waking her up. In fact, it seems to be the opposite. She seems to be concerned for me. “Do you need someone to talk to?” She asks when I don’t answer her first question. I hadn’t been able to. Simply because I didn’t know where to start. I wasn’t okay. But, for her to understand why there was so much that she needed to know first. So, when she asks if I need someone to talk to I feel a wave of relaxation flood over me.

“That would be nice…” I start before I try and remember if I had the stuff for hot drinks in. Deciding to gamble with it, I move out the way so she could come in. “Do you want a drink? As an apology for waking you up?” I offer as I cross to my kitchen, watching as she settles down on the couch, curling her legs underneath herself.

“You didn’t wake me but I will take a black tea dear.” She says, her voice carrying through my apartment like music. I put the kettle on and put two teabags in cups as I wait for the kettle to boil.

“I didn’t wake you?” I ask as I watch her from where I’ve leant against the counter. She seemed extremely kind and calm so I believe that I didn’t wake her, but she had to have heard the scream. Why else would she be here?

“No, I heard the scream while I was reading and wished to know if you were okay.” I blink at her words and I almost miss the sound of the kettle popping to tell me that it had finished boiling the water. I snap out of my amazement that somebody was concerned for me and pour us both our cup of tea before carrying them over to her and sitting on the couch next to her. I immediately sit cross-legged on the couch, my back against the armrest as I watch her sip her tea.

“Uh… can I ask your name?” My voice is quiet and it breaks through the harsh silence of my apartment. I watch her lower her teacup and as she smiles at me I feel reassured that I hadn’t just asked a rather stupid question.

“My name is Plaxum.” She says without hesitating and I almost spit out my tea.

“Plaxum?” I repeat, half thinking she’s just fucking with me. She nods in agreement before she puts her teacup on my coffee table. Despite her reaffirmation, I still can’t believe what she just told me I mean after all what kind of a name is _Plaxum?_ A sentence that I wouldn’t repeat to her, after all she’s probably had jokes and teasing about it her entire life. I didn’t need to add to that. “My names Matthew, but I generally go by Matt.” I say as I put my teacup down to match hers, hoping to move this conversation on to a new topic.

“It’s nice to meet you Matthew.” She says my name with such a soft tone that I can’t help but be reminded of the way Shiro and Pidge say my name. It was something that I hadn’t heard in a while, and it was something that shouldn’t be making me want to cry. But here we were with tears threatening to escape the corner of my eyes, just at the way this woman said my name. “Are you okay dear?” She repeats her question from earlier and it’s what causes the dam to finally break loose.

For my parents, it had been when they had seen me and Shiro in the hospital. For Pidge, it had been when she had realised the severity of the situation. For Keith, it had been Shiro finally waking up. And for me, it was a stranger asking if I was okay. It certainly wasn’t what I had expected to cause the dam I had built up to break, but I felt relieved to be crying.

I had been numb for far too long after the crash. It felt nice to finally feel something other than pain and anxiety from the crash. I just hadn’t expected a stranger to be the person that would make me feel something new. I had always thought it would be Shiro. After all he was good at looking after us all.

I take my glasses off and put them on the coffee table so that I could try and wipe my tears away, despite how fast they were flowing. It’s as I bend forward that I feel two slender arms wrapping around me, pulling me closer to Plaxum. I don’t fight her hold as she lets me rest my head against her.

_I didn’t want to fight her._

It felt nice to be hugged by someone, even if that someone was a stranger. Although this I couldn’t blame on Pidge or Keith. Keith wasn’t a big hugger as it was and as Pidge didn’t want to talk to anyone at the minute, I couldn’t ask for a hug from my younger sister. Shiro for obvious reasons couldn’t hug me, so for the past few weeks I had been hugging myself to sleep, just to try and alleviate that feeling of needing a hug. It hadn’t worked _._ It had just made my loneliness more apparent.

“Tell me what’s going on Matthew.” She says before putting some tissue in my hands. Something that I thank her for so quietly that I doubt she heard it. Yet she nods understandingly so I don’t repeat myself. I take a rather ragged breath as the tears finally stop and I start to wipe them away.

I didn’t know why it felt like I could trust Plaxum, she just gave off this vibe that made me feel relaxed. Made me feel safe. It’s as I wipe away the last of my tears that I look up at her. My eyesight meant that she looked very blurry to me, but that just made me feel a bit more confident in telling her the story. After all, if I couldn’t see her; I didn’t know if she was judging me.

“It’s a long story, are you sure that you want to hear it?”

“Of course. You’re not pulling me away from anything important.” comes her response and I smile slightly. Part of me wonders what I had pulled her away from but the other part of me is just so relieved to have someone else to talk to. Someone that _wanted_ to listen.

“Well, it starts with the autopilot system that my sister created…” I start as Plaxum strokes my hair gently. The feeling relaxes me and it makes sharing my story that little bit easier.

~~~*~~~

“And that brings us to my night terrors.” I say softly as I look at where Plaxum was making us both a sandwich and another drink of tea. She hadn’t said much in the hour that I had talked, only occasionally asking me how something made me feel. Her hand hadn’t left my hair when she had been sat next to me and now that she had gotten up; I could really feel the absence of her touch.

“I assume that’s when you wake up screaming?” She asks as she brings our food and drink over, immediately sitting next to me again. “Are you relieving the accident before you wake up?” She asks and I bite my lip. It’s the first question she’s asked that I’ve hesitated before answering but, after telling her everything else I see no reason why I shouldn’t tell her.

“Sometimes I am yes. Other times, Shiro isn’t the one that’s trapped. It’s me. And I can feel and see my arms being crushed. Sometimes we’re both trapped.” I admit before picking up my sandwich to eat it. I only do it so that I’m not tempted to look at Plaxum. I couldn’t bear to see the look of pity on her face. I didn’t want to be pitied, it’s part of the reason I had refused mum’s suggestion of seeing a therapist once I was discharged from the hospital. I didn’t want to pitied when I knew that my best friend was going through something a lot worse than I was.

“You feel guilty Matthew. Your friend lied to you in order to save you, and you feel guilty that in that situation there was nothing you could do to help him. So, you’re reliving every possible outcome instead.” Plaxum says softly after a few minutes’ silence. I can’t help but notice that her tone isn’t one of pity. It’s one of experience. She smiles softly at me before taking a pause to sip her tea, her hand taking up residence on my hair once again. “But just know that your friend saved you dear, and if he hadn’t you could have both died. Yes, he’s lost the use of his arms, but that is a small sacrifice for the pair of you still being alive.” She continues as she puts her teacup back on the coffee table.

“I hadn’t thought of it like that.” I admit quietly after taking a few minutes to digest what she had said. Now that it was pointed out to me I could see what she meant, and it makes me feel silly for having nightmares. But, it made sense that the nightmares were just continuing my thoughts that I had when I was awake.

“Sometimes we need someone else to tell us it before we realise what’s been obvious to everyone else the entire time.” She says softly before she pulls me closer for another hug. I take a deep breath and relax in her arms, truly feeling safe there. “While knowing what’s causing them won’t stop them Matthew, I’ve found that knowing why they’re happening is always a good start to recovery.”

 _Recovery…_ I had heard the word several times over the past few weeks but no one had ever said it as reassuringly as Plaxum just had. Doctors and nurses had said it in that tone that implied we didn’t know whether Shiro would make it to _recovery._ Keith had said it so quietly when Shiro had gone into it, almost as though saying it would shatter any chance Shiro had of recovering.

What had it been that Shiro used to say whenever we would visit an injured Keith?

“Recovery doesn’t happen overnight.” I say softly without realising I had said it out loud.

“No it doesn’t, sometimes it takes weeks, other times years. Everyone’s recovery period is different.” She says before we both fall quiet. The only sound that can be heard is the noise of the street outside our apartment block. The noise of the city, the only indication that time hasn’t stopped.

“Hey, Plaxum?”

“Yes, Matthew?”

“Shiro discharged himself from the hospital… and he left the city I assume at least. He’s not at his apartment or answering his phone. Both Pidge and Keith think we should find him. They both have their own reasons but… I don’t know whether we should.” I say and as I feel tears well up as I remember that my best friend was missing; Plaxum starts stroking my hair once again.

“You shouldn’t.” Her answer comes immediately, but I don’t say anything, knowing that she will elaborate when she’s figured out how to put what she’s thinking into words. “I’m sure he loves you all, but part of him is probably overwhelmed with everything right now. He’s lost one arm and might as well lost another. And as a result, he probably just needs some time away from you all to see if he _can_ do things for himself.” She says before passing me some more tissues.

“So give him time?” I ask, already not liking what it means if she says yes.

“I know it’ll be difficult Matthew but yes. Give him time, I am certain he will come back when he feels that he’s ready. He is an adult, none of you can control what he does. But a word of advice; when he comes back don’t barrage him with questions about where he’s been. Tell him you missed him and let him tell you about his trip when he wants to share it.” I knew I wouldn’t like what she said, but hearing it said is different to just knowing it. It makes it feel more absolute. And as she said earlier, it’s easier to have someone else state the obvious to us before we realise it ourselves.

“You were right; it is difficult.” I can’t help but state the obvious and I notice the sad smile she offers me in return.

“All the best things in life are." is her soft reply before I can ask about the sad smile. I watch her eyes flick up to the clock on my wall and she puts her now empty teacup down. “I hate to leave Matthew, but if I don’t sleep now I won’t wake up in time for work.” She says and I move for her to get up.

“Oh, what’s your job?”

“I’m a therapist.” Somehow, it doesn’t shock me to learn that was her occupation. She had a naturally calming influence and was extremely patient with me when I was getting upset during my explanation.

“I’m sure you’re a wonderful therapist.”

“Thank you Matthew. I live in 45b if you ever need someone to talk to.” She says as she opens my door. There was no sound in the hallway and we lived in a very busy apartment block, so that gave me an indication of just how late it was.

“I will Plaxum, thanks for listening to me.” She flashes me a smile at my compliment before the door shuts behind her. I stay sat where I was on the couch for a few minutes before getting up and putting all our dirty pots in the sink, deciding to wash them once I woke up.

Slowly but surely, I make my way back into bed and crawl under my thin covers. I lay there, no longer feeling as guilty as I had when I had woken up from my nightmare. Silently thanking Plaxum once again before pulling the quilt tight around me. Wanting to sleep, knowing that I’ll need my energy tomorrow in case Keith or Pidge wanted to go find Shiro.

I trusted Plaxum’s word that Shiro would come back. After all, he had promised Keith all those years ago that he would come back for him. I just needed to figure out how to tell them. And it’s as I think about how to word what Plaxum had said to my sister and Keith, that I fall asleep once again.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bless Matt. Despite not knowing much about him in Canon, this was really fun to write. Matt is a very interesting character for me, and his chapters seem to come the easiest.
> 
> Also the advice Plaxum gives is advice that I have been given before.
> 
> Song for this chapter is "The Night We Met" by Lord Huron


	4. Leaving California - Shiro

I hadn’t been the most comfortable with spending the night at a stranger’s apartment. But Lance felt different. He acted different to most. He hadn’t stared or asked about my arm, or the scars. He hadn’t made me ask for help at the diner, instead he had let me struggle along. It was nice having to do something for myself again. He didn’t treat me as if I was made of glass, and it had been far too long since someone had done that. And once I had thought of it like that, it became easier to trust Lance.

I manage to push myself upright and I look round the small room, quickly coming to the conclusion that this was Lance’s bedroom. The younger man hadn’t joined me so I assume he had slept somewhere else but I couldn’t help but feel bad at the fact I had kicked him out of his own bed. I would have been happy anywhere in his house, after all he was doing me a huge favour by letting me stay here for free. Something that I still didn’t think I could accept. I had to do something for him. I needed to repay his kindness somehow.

I swing my legs off the bed and shiver as the cold breeze of the bedroom hits my bare skin. I had managed after a few minutes to discard most of my clothes last night, and now I was regretting that decision. Clothes were a lot easier to take off then to put on after all. I manage to grab the clothes with my left arm and I relax as it takes less time than I expected.

The feeling in my left arm had come back during physiotherapy. It was still intermittent but if I was patient enough, and gave it enough time, I could use it still. _Patience yields focus._ My physiotherapist had said when I had gotten angry over the lack of usefulness in my remaining arm. It seemed so insignificant to everyone else but for me, my left arm _needed to work._

If it didn’t work I had to deal with someone else dressing me. Showering me. It meant I had to give up any personal freedom and have someone else do my day to day routine. It was something I didn’t want. I also didn’t want to deal with the looks of pity that it would bring. At least if I had one working arm I could do things for myself and would get less pity looks than being that guy with no arms.

But being that determined to have feeling back in my left arm hadn’t been a good thing. It had meant I would, nine times out of ten, overwork my arm. I would push it until it did what I wanted it to do and that was apparently just as bad as underworking my arm. I needed to balance out my treatment and it would recover quickly.

_Patience yields focus._

It repeats like a mantra as I tug my shirt back on, not doing the buttons up. I knew I couldn’t do them up, and I knew that if I tried I would just get rather mad at the fact I couldn’t do the buttons. Last time I had broken a lamp, I didn’t want to break anything of Lance’s. I pull my jeans back on and let out a breath of relief when I manage to do up the fly one-handed. It was the first time that I had done that and a sense of relief washes over me. I was able to do things for myself it seemed. Even if I did have to start with the mundane.

I get up now that I was dressed and I take the time to remake the bed. It doesn’t take me as long as I thought it would. Probably has something to do with the fact that I generally stayed in one position as I slept unlike everyone else that I knew. Matt star-fished in bed. Katie was a blanket hog according to Matt. And Keith curled up in the tiniest ball possible. All three of them would start the night the same way and by the time they eventually woke up they had made a mess out of the entire bed. Or in some cases, had fallen out of bed completely.

I run my hand through my hair as I walk through into the main room and I smile as the smell of food hits me. It smelt like pancakes and it relaxes me slightly. I had a feeling they wouldn’t be as good as the Kerberos pancakes but, it was a familiar home comfort. And something else that I hadn’t expected Lance to do.

A quick glance around the combined kitchen and living room gives me an indication that Lance had been up for a while. There was a quilt folded up on one corner of the couch and empty coffee cup on the coffee table. I frown a little thinking about him sleeping on the couch simply because I had taken his bed for the night. I had assumed his place had two bedrooms last night. If I hadn’t been so tired by time we had gotten here I would insisted that I had slept on the couch. After all the brunette was doing so much for me, just by letting me stay here. That didn’t mean he had to have an uncomfortable night’s sleep and then make breakfast without complaining. I would have to do something to help the boy out, maybe buy him another bed. That way he didn’t have to have an uncomfortable night’s sleep every time someone slept over.

I cross to the kitchen area, deciding against picking up the empty coffee cup and washing it. I didn’t want to run the risk of dropping and breaking the cup, so instead, I leave it where it was. I had done that with one of Mrs Holt’s cups after all. I had been fine drinking it but when it came to washing it; I had dropped it before even getting it to the sink. I remember freezing as it broke. Watching each shard of the pottery bounce on the floor as every one of the Holts turned to look at the noise. Mrs Holt had gotten up to clean the mess without saying a word, as though she had expected it. She didn’t speak until I went to apologise and even then I got the standard ‘ _accidents happen Shiro.’_

Accidents do happen yes. But weeks of seeing news coverage about the ‘accident’ that me and Matt had been involved in had turned that word sour for me. But even with the fact I was growing to dislike the word, I had no right to yell at Mrs Holt because she used it. Something that I still deeply regret, and had apologised for profusely.

An accident was when you didn’t mean to bump into someone. Not when your plane crashes despite having a perfect auto-pilot system. That was an attempted murder, and calling it an accident implies that my friend wasn’t as good with code as she thought she was.

I still refuse to believe that it was Katie’s fault that the plane crashed. She had worked so close with Matt and Keith to perfect it, if she had thought there was any chance her system wasn’t perfect; she wouldn’t have let us go. It just couldn’t have been Katie’s fault. She wouldn’t have let something she worked so hard on potentially kill both me and Matt. She wasn’t that kind of person.

“You didn’t have to make breakfast. Offering your home was enough Lance.” I say as I reach the smaller brunette. The smell I had smelt earlier had been pancakes. I notice him dishing up some as I lean against the kitchen counter. However, due to the fact I had clearly startled him; the pancakes fall onto the plate in a disorganised pile.

“Are you a fucking ninja?!” comes the younger man’s response and I can’t help but laugh. I was very ninja like, it was something that Keith used to say. He used to beg me to teach him how to walk quietly, something my adopted brother never quite got the hang of. Something always gave him away. At first I had thought it was because he didn’t have the ability to walk quietly. But, then Matt told me that Keith would purposefully pretend not to know something just so Katie would explain it to him and I started to wonder if Keith just wanted one-on-one time with me and that’s why he pretended to fail.

“Can’t tell you that.” I say with a smile as I run my hand through my hair.

“Of course, it’d violate the ninja code. Sit at the table Tak- Shiro.” I notice he corrects himself from saying _Takashi._ I had corrected him last night when he said goodnight to me. It seemed so formal being referred to as Takashi. I much preferred Shiro. Much like how Matt preferred _Matt_ over Matthew. He referred to his full name as his ‘in trouble name’, and I had to agree with him. Every time he did something stupid or dumb; I referred to him as Matthew. Which was often due to Matt’s nature as a troublemaker. Not that it was only Matt that got into trouble; sometimes he managed to drag me into it with him.

I sit down at small table and wait for Lance to compose himself enough to bring the pancakes over. I don’t want to argue with him over the matter. He had clearly wanted to serve the pancakes and I guess working in a diner made it natural to serve someone their breakfast. I look at the marks on the table when it becomes apparent that these aren’t typical marks from a table being used over the years. They were words. Names I think. I run my finger over the curve of an ‘a’ and I smile. They _were_ names. _Gabriella. Rafael. Fabian_. _Allura._

“I see you’re admiring the names.” This time it’s Lance’s turn to make me jump. I look up from where I was tracing Allura’s name and notice the smile on his face as he puts down the pancakes and a fork. I smile slightly noticing that they were already cut up into squares for me, and as I pick up the fork Lance moves back to eat his own plate of pancakes. He seemed to know when I needed help and knew when to offer his assistance. Something I greatly appreciated when I was trying to see just how much I could do with one arm that had limited mobility.

“Yeah, is it something that was here when you got the table?” I ask as I focus on trying to eat the pancakes without dropping them off my fork. I had done it several times with the cheesecake the brunette had brought me last night. While it landed back on the plate nine times out of ten; that didn’t stop me from getting frustrated with my inability to eat food.

“No actually, I come from a big family and when they stayed over the first time they wanted to carve their names into the table, so that they were always here. And now it’s just become tradition.” Lance talks about his family with such a fondness that it makes me smile. It was the same way that Matt talked about Katie.

She was his genius little sister and no matter however many times he told me about her; I couldn’t get over how smart she was. She had built a robot for the sole purpose of sending it into Matt’s lab just to annoy him. The reason I had gotten her to work for Kerberos Enterprises was if that was what she could create when she wasn’t trying; I wanted to see what she could make when she put her heart and soul into her work.

“That’s a good tradition.” I say after swallowing my forkful of pancake. It really was a good tradition, and it seemed to make Lance happy. Keith, Matt, Katie and I didn’t really have traditions. The only thing close to a tradition that we had was that we had tea at Matt’s every Thursday, and watched a film about aliens afterwards. The three of them loved alien films, even the bad films. When I go back we had to make some more traditions.

“Yeah, and after that it became the norm for anyone that’s stayed to carve their name.” Lance says softly as he puts his plate and fork in the sink. “You should carve yours Shiro.”

I freeze slightly at Lance’s words. He wanted me to carve my name into his table? Even with my limited control. If I did decide to be a part of his tradition I was going to need help with doing so and I really disliked asking for help. I would rather do anything than ask for help. But as I look at Lance and see how bright-eyed he is at the thought of adding another name to the rather battered table; I don’t see how I could deny him of this.

His bright-eyed expression reminds me of Keith. The way my adopted brother’s face had lit up when I had told him about the stars and how he could travel there. He had sworn to me he was going to befriend an alien and when I had taken him to the planetarium he had asked every single member of staff about aliens with the same bright-eyed expression.

I had seen it on Katie too. Every time me or Matt praised her for one of her inventions or said that her idea was good; she pulled the same face. Matt had showed me it too. The way he looked as he praised Katie or just talked about how proud he was of her. He had also pulled it when he realised that he could tease Keith the same way that he teased Katie.

And as I realise that I had seen that exact expression over and over on the three most important people in my life; I know that I _really_ can’t break this tradition for Lance.

“Sure. I may need some help.” My voice is quiet. I move the plate away as the brunette comes over with the knife. He lets me grasp it before he covers my hand with his own slender hand. I don’t miss the bruise covering his wrist but instead I focus on controlling the movement of the knife. With Lance supplying the pressure for the knife, carving my name into the wood of the table goes pretty well. He lets go after we complete the ‘o’ and I smile at him. It felt good taking part in something like this.

“There we go. I’m going to wash the pots and take a shower. Feel free to make yourself at home Shiro.” He says softly before taking my empty plate away. I run my fingers over the smooth cuts we had inflicted onto the table and I relax. I may not be as strong with this arm as I used to be, but at least I was regaining some of the control I had lost. Even if it was a little bit too slow for my liking. Maybe the doctors were right.

Maybe everything was going to be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And Shiro's chapter has the record for the least amount of dialogue in any of my chapters.  
> Also it's Lance's birthday today. So enjoy a Shiro and Lance interaction.  
> Pidge's chapter is next :)
> 
> Song for this chapter:  
> Leaving California - Boys Like Girls  
> While I don't know where Shiro has travelled from as loose__bolt doesn't say in the notes,I don't think it is California. I picked the song because of the lyrics. It just made sense for Shiro.


	5. Misguided Ghosts - Katie

“I’ve found him.” My voice rings out in the silence of my lab and I’m not surprised that I’m met by silence. It had been weeks since Shiro had vanished. Weeks without any form of contact from him. Weeks of several wrong leads and men with similar hairstyles. No news reports on him anywhere. No nothing.

I think Matt and Keith had started to give up on actually finding him. After weeks of hearing nothing, I didn’t blame them. I had nearly given up several times during the search. He had made it difficult and whether that was intentional or not was hard to tell. There hadn’t been any activity on his cards, so I hadn’t been able to track him that way and his phone wasn’t switched on or was dead. It had lead me to believe he was only using cash and I had been praying that he would run out and have to use his card eventually.

And that did happen. I had almost missed it at first, I hadn’t wanted to check his card activity only to be disappointed again. I didn’t want to tell Matt and Keith again that I hadn’t found him yet. It was worse for Keith. Matt had stopped asking almost two weeks after I had started. Keith… Keith had kept asking. He asked every day, sometimes multiple times per day.

And then last week; he just stopped. I was grateful though, I don’t think I could deal anymore with seeing his heartbroken face every time that I told him I couldn’t find him. We all wanted Shiro back but him being gone was definitely effecting Keith more than me and Matt. After all, I still had my brother here with me. Keith may consider us family, but we weren’t the same as Shiro was to him.

“Are you sure Pidge?” I turn around in my chair and look at Matt and Keith for the first time today. Keith looked exhausted and hopeful. The boy had barely slept while I was looking, the dark bags under his eyes were evidence of that. The only time he slept was when he passed out in my lab and we had just tucked him in and let him sleep on the floor. Matt looks hopeful, but I can see him trying to hide it, just in case that I was wrong.

“I’m waiting for the ATM footage to download, but I’m positive it’s him.” Keith scrambles to his feet and I smile noticing Matt help him steady himself slightly. It was our first viable lead in a while and as Keith sits on the stool next to me; I noticed he’d taken to wearing his gloves again. A sign he had been training a bit too hard recently. I don’t say anything though. I had learnt when to keep my mouth shut regarding Keith’s idiotic tendencies.

I turn back to the computer as it beeps and I feel myself relaxing seeing that familiar scar on the footage. Even in the still frame it was definitely Shiro. There weren’t many people with that hair and that distinctive scar on the bridge of his nose. The scar that if I got my way I was going to smack off his face when we found him, just for how much he made us all worry. I hit play and watch as Keith visibly relaxes seeing his brother doing such a mundane action. He was clearly happy to see that he was okay. God knows what he had been worrying about since Shiro had been gone. He leans forwards slightly and as the footage ends he turns to me.

“Where is he?!” He says almost immediately and I put the footage on again, focusing on the background this time. There wasn’t a lot visible and it looked like any other street. It could be anywhere in America for all I knew. As was standard with ATM footage all there was a video. There was no sound, and a timestamp in the corner. But that didn’t help narrow it down where he was when he made the transaction; because it was the timestamp for that city. Without knowing which city, it was, or which state he was in; it didn’t help at all.

“It’s hard to tell Keith. There’s no distinguishing features in the background. No sound to tell what accent people have. It might take me a while to find out.” He lets out a noise akin to a distressed kitten at my words and I feel guilty. Guilty, that I didn’t have any better news for him. “But we know he’s alive and well Keith. It’s a start.” I say as I play the footage again trying to find anything in the background that could help.

“Does it say on his card activity where it took place?” Matt says and me and Keith both turn round to look at the older male. I hadn’t notice him follow Keith over here, probably cause I was rather astounded that I had _found Shiro_. But as I look at him, expecting to see the same happy face I had seen on Keith; my heart sinks when I don’t see it. Matt looked saddened by the fact I had found him.

“I think so, it should be printing now.” I say as I glance over to the printer that was currently whirring to life. Matt nods and I think about asking him why he looks so sad as Keith gets up to grab the paper for me, but I didn’t know whether he would tell me. In between him asking if I had checked certain things during my search, or him begging me to eat or sleep, we hadn’t talked much. “Matt?” I ask as Keith waits by the printer.

“Yeah Pidge?” He says and I notice that tone in his voice. That was a bad tone. It meant he had to do something he really didn’t want to do.

“What’s wrong? You don’t look too happy.” Matt looks away at my question and I gesture for him to sit down. He does so rather quickly and I take the opportunity to actually look at my brother for the first time since the crash. Most of the superficial wounds had healed now. He wasn’t as marred with scars as Shiro was. But I knew there was still trauma there. The bags under his eyes showed that.

He had been going back to his own apartment to sleep but from the looks of it he wasn’t getting much sleep. Which meant he either couldn’t sleep or he wasn’t getting a good night’s sleep. The fact he wouldn’t sleep here as well, probably meant he was having some form of nightmares. He had refused to meet the therapist our parents had organised for him, saying that he was fine and just needed to have some sleep.

No one had believed him though. Matt was never one to ask for help when he was ill. It seemed to be some form of manly pride that stopped him from asking for help, or taking it when it was offered. But mum, dad and me just accepted it as Matt being Matt. Not that it had stopped me slipping the therapists’ card in his jacket pocket. I knew that if he needed help he would organise it himself.

“It depends on whether you can find the location from the transaction ID as to whether I’ll be happy.” He responds, almost cryptically and I go from wanting to smack Shiro for leaving to wanting to smack my own brother for being so damn cryptic.

“It’ll be good if Katie can find the location though, right?” Keith says quietly. Matt keeps his focus solely on the computer and I take the printout from the black-haired boy. Beginning to realise that Matt wasn’t going to say anything I turn my attention to the computer in front of me. If he wasn’t going to talk, I was at least going to be productive.

Fifteen minutes later I finally get a hit on the transaction ID. I skim through the result and frown slightly. It was a chain store in Jersey. He had gone all the way to Jersey? I shake my head slightly and try to narrow down the exact location before I tell the guys that I knew what city he was in. That way at least I knew I had done all that I could before I told them.

I notice that Keith watches my fingers as I type, Matt had told me before that Keith was amazed by just how fast I could type once I got into the rhythm. If I was honest part of it was because once I knew what I wanted to type I didn’t have to look at the keys. I could focus on the screen and know that my fingers would catch up with my thoughts.

It had taken me ages to get to this speed and it had amazed a senior I had made friends with at college when I had sat next to him in the library to work. Hunk Garrett was his name and he was honestly one of the nicest people had met. He was amazed I had gotten in to college early and helped proofread some of my assignments. He had the most amazing cooking skills and it was as he cooked me lunch one day that I learned he was there to take physics and engineering courses for fun. He already had a culinary degree and was here for fun. He was honestly one of the smartest people I had met and he was there for _fun_.

I scan through the addresses of the stores that were popping up on my search and I realise I knew who I could call to help with the hunt. That is if I didn’t get any conclusive hits for an address off this search. After all he lived in Jersey and would probably recognise Shiro if he had seen him.

I lean back in my chair as the result come back with fourteen different stores. Naturally they were spread out all across Jersey and there was nothing else I could input to make the search more specific. I sigh once more and print the list off. If nothing else, we could drive there and check each one out.

“What did you find out?” Keith asks as his head turns towards the printer. I knew he would pay attention to the sound. But the tone in his voice is more anxious than curious, as though he couldn’t bear to wait any more for the answer. I hesitate knowing that fourteen stores spread across an entire city isn’t the news that Keith wants and look away from him as I cross to the printer. “Katie? Please tell me.” He begs and I grab the printout, still not able to bring myself to look at him.

“The transaction ID came from a store in Jersey. The only problem is there’s fourteen of these stores and I can’t find out which one Shiro used. I have the addresses of them all here” I say softly and sit back in my chair with the printout.

“Then we go there and look at all fourteen and ask if they’ve seen Shiro.” He says it like it’s so obvious and as I look at him I notice that familiar fire burning in his eyes. He was so determined to get Shiro back that having a one in fourteen chance was good enough for him. “Where do we start then?” He asks as I bring open a map to plot the addresses on.

“We don’t.” Matt says as he takes the printout out of my hand. Keith turns to Matt and the fire in his eyes burns brighter. I hold my hand up to stop Keith and look at Matt. Was he actually being serious right now? I take off the glasses I wore when used the computer and rub at my eyes. Trying to comprehend just what Matt meant.

“What do you mean we don’t? I thought you wanted Shiro back! That’s why you asked me to find him, right?” I can feel my hands shaking with anger. Matt had been so desperate to get his best friend back, and now he was just giving up? That wasn’t like Matt. He was determined. A fighter to the end. So, him giving up didn’t feel right to me; there had to be a reason why he was giving up when we were so close to getting Shiro back.

“No, I asked you to find him so I knew whether he was alive Pidge.” Even now, he wasn’t fighting against me like usual. He was calm and collected, like he had prepared for this argument before it had actually happened. Like he had known for a while he was going to have to stop me and Keith from leaving.

“Well he’s alive Matt, and I say we go get him and smack some sense into him for leaving!” I yell and I see Keith nod slightly out the corner of my eye. He didn’t like us both arguing; I knew as much. I knew both me and Matt would apologise afterwards but I’m amazed by the fact he wasn’t joining in, after all; Shiro was his _big brother._ “See, Keith agrees!”

“He left because he needed time to heal Pidge! We can’t just drag him back because we’re selfish and want him back!”

“He needs **_us_** Matt, not to go running halfway across the country to heal!”

“This is why he left Katie!” I flinch hearing Matt call me Katie. He rarely called me Katie anymore. I was always Pidge. Unless I had overstepped my boundaries or had really upset Matt. Then I went straight back to being Katie. “Yes, I want my best friend back but dragging him back here before he’s ready is just going to make him resent us and leave again.”

“So, what do we do?” Keith’s voice is soft and I notice the fire has dulled in his eyes. Clearly, the idea of dragging Shiro bag only to have him hate us and leave again is a bit too much for Keith to deal with.

“We wait. We know Shiro is safe. He’ll come back when he’s ready.” Matt says softly as he stands up and gets his and Keith’s jackets. “Let’s go get some food, okay Keith?” He says as he passes Keith his jacket.

“You don’t know that for certain though. What if he doesn’t come back?” I say without getting up. I wasn’t hungry. I never was after arguing with Matt, and I knew that’s why he was taking Keith away. It gave me chance to calm down. But the look he gives me after I speak makes it very clear that I was to never ask that question again in front of Keith.

“He will Katie. Trust me; he’ll come back.” Matt’s voice is soft and caring and he puts his arm around Keith as they walk out of my lap. I shake my head at my brother’s confidence in Shiro to do the right thing and come back to us and I get up to get my phone.

I didn’t care that Shiro would come back when he was ready. I wanted to know that he wasn’t being an idiot. That he was still in Jersey. I open my contacts and scroll through them till I find Hunk’s number. Matt would kill me if he found out what I was going to do; but it wasn’t like I had actually gone to Jersey to find him. I hurriedly type out a text asking Hunk to call me when he could. Sighing to myself I put the phone down on the desk before I turn back to my other project on the computer. I had to do something to keep myself busy until Hunk replied after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's early but, here's another chapter. I'm going to start posting chapters on here when I've finished writing the next one. So chapter six will be posted once I've written chapter seven and so on :)
> 
> Things are getting dramatic here though.
> 
> Song for Chapter:  
> Misguided Ghosts - Paramore.  
> More of how Pidge feels towards Shiro's disappearance and a call and response thing. Some parts are about Shiro, some are about Pidge's feelings.


	6. Torn In Two - Hunk

I look up as Lance walks into the diner with his current houseguest. Takashi Shirogane. A man who I had doubts about Lance taking home, because from just looking at him and the amount of scars on his body and the missing arm; he made me nervous. Lance had assured me he would be fine. I knew I should believe my best friend, but when he had assured me that he would be fine no matter how many times he went back to _her;_ I was more than a little worried for his wellbeing. Admittedly his new guest _hadn’t_ done anything to Lance on the account of the fact he only had one arm that worked occasionally; but a friend could be nervous anyway, right?

As I had said to Allura, if he keeps going back to _her;_ how could we trust his judgement on houseguests that definitely looked dangerous? Which had been how I had discovered that she hadn’t actually seen Takashi yet. Which reminded me that while Lance wasn’t back here I should probably get her to come see so that she could judge him for herself.

“Allura.” I say softly before turning my attention back to the window. I watch from the kitchen’s window as Lance helps the man sit at his usual table before I turn back to Allura. She had been eating her soup and bread so as she lifts her head; I smile slightly. “Come here; he’s in.” I say and watch Allura cross over to the window, soup still in hand to watch with me. She sweeps her ponytail back over her shoulder as we watch Lance talk about ordering with Takashi and I see her pull a face. “What?” I ask nervously, not liking the concerned face she was pulling.

“That’s who he took home?” She asks as she puts her bowl in the sink, never once taking her eyes off the older man. I raise an eyebrow at the look she gives him but I say nothing, after all; I had given him that look the first time I had met him. She would explain what she was thinking after she had finished scanning Takashi with her eyes.

“Yeah.”

“Hunk that’s Takashi Shirogane of Kerberos Enterprises.” She says in a hushed whisper as she grips my shoulders. She says it like I should know who she means and I really don’t know who she means by that. “The big robotic engineering company.”  She says and yet again I draw a blank.

“Not ringing a bell Allura.” She seems actually frustrated with me at this point and I see her roll her eyes. I knew she was joking though because normally I was pretty in touch with robotic company’s names. I could name all the local ones and most of the major ones in the country, something both her and Lance would tease me about occasionally. But it figures the one time she relies on my knowledge I don’t know the company.

“The one whose founder had that plane crash a few months ago.” She says before turning back to her brother and Takashi. The plane crash does however jar my memories. I remember all the news reports surrounding the accident and how Takashi had been lucky to survive the incident. That was probably when he had lost his arm and the mobility of the other one.

“Oh, that Takashi… wait they’re not a local company Allura.” I say as I start to wash her bowl up. We weren’t due another big rush for a couple of hours, but I liked to stay on top of the washing anyway. It made our job easier in the long run. Plus, I could watch Lance and Takashi from here.

“No, they’re not.” She says almost thoughtfully before drying off the plates that I had washed. We were an efficient team, washing up as we watched her little brother and my best friend talk with his newest guest. It worried me just how much Takashi being with him bothered me. The runaway kid he had stay before him hadn’t bothered me. Neither had the pregnant girl that had stayed. So, why did he bother me?

Was it the appearance of him, or the fact that I didn’t know what his intentions were with Lance? Because both were good reasons to be nervous, but it wasn’t like he had given me any reason to doubt that his intentions were pure. I mean it wasn’t like Lance had gained any extra bruises recently. Maybe I had prejudged him?

“Hey Hunk, come sit with me and Allura. Bring some cake!” I hear Lance’s voice and I lift my head from where I had been continuously washing the same bowl over and over. I smile slightly at the request before making four drinks and dishing up four plates of cake. I place them on one of our serving trays and carry it out to the secluded booth they were sat in.

“Brought the chocolate cake.” I say as Allura looks up curiously, her white hair slowly coming loose from the ponytail that was holding it back. I slide into the booth next to Allura and pass everyone their drinks and slice of cake. Green tea for Allura. Milky coffee for Lance. Black coffee for Takashi and a hot chocolate for myself. Allura thanks me with a soft smile and I nod slightly at her. Takashi smiles and I see him slowly curl his fingers around the handle of the mug, but not lift it. In fact, he seems to be preparing himself for something. Maybe his remaining arm wasn’t as strong as it looked?

“Thanks Hunk, I love your coffees.” Lance says softly and I can’t help but feel so happy at the praise off my best friend. I knew he loved the coffee I made him, he told me every time after all, but even so I feel a rush of pride every time he told me. It was bizarre, I didn’t have the same reaction when Allura told me so liked her tea. It was only when Lance told me. Maybe due to the fact we didn’t get to talk much anymore? I don’t know.

“So, this is Hunk and Allura?” Takashi’s voice is soft and as I turn to him I notice that he is very slowly lowering his cup back to the table. He takes his time with the action, and while Allura is very polite and doesn’t look at his arm, I can’t help but look. His motions were slow and deliberate; as though he was scared of breaking the cup. “Lance hasn’t stopped talking about how good you both are to him.” He says and I look back to his face, and those kind eyes of his focus back on me. “I’m Shiro.” He introduces and I smile slightly. Takashi did seem a bit too formal for him, especially in our diner.

“Shiro, don’t embarrass me.” Lance says with a forkful of cake in his mouth, crumbs spilling onto the table. I had forgotten how messy of an eater Lance could be when he was relaxed. He was never relaxed anymore. The threat of _her_ always hanging over his head had made him a jumpy person. It had gotten rid of the Lance I had known since we were little.

“Why, what have you been telling Shiro?” Allura’s voice is teasing and I see Lance’s cheeks flush slightly. I can’t help but marvel at just how much their dynamic had changed from when Allura first became a part of Lance’s family. He hadn’t wanted to know her at first and now they were like this most of the time. Teasing and playful. It was a lot of fun to watch. At least until they were adamant that I had to pick a side when they were teasing each other. They were both my friend; I didn’t want to pick a side.

“Nothing.”

“He said you were some form of _Social Media Goddess_.” Shiro says immediately after Lance’s claim of ‘nothing’ and both me and Allura laugh at Lance’s fake betrayed look. That look had always made us both laugh. Lance was a joker at heart and never took teasing to heart, but since _her_ , looks like that had become few and far between. So, I was glad that Shiro was bringing out that side of him once again.

_Maybe having Shiro to look after would be a good thing for him?_

“Shiro you said you wouldn’t tell them!” Lance whines slightly and for the first time I see Shiro smile as he grips the fork I had given him awkwardly. I keep my eyes focused on Lance though, rather than on Shiro slowly eating his cake. Sensing that he would probably find that a lot better and possibly enjoy eating more than if we watched him.

“What else did my little brother tell you?” Allura says with a small smirk as she looks to Shiro and I chuckle seeing the look the two share. Allura was always looking for new ways to embarrass and tease Lance. She had come to me at first and I had been reluctant to share with her. Lance was my best friend and I hadn’t been sure what to tell her. I didn’t want to embarrass my best friend after all. But as Lance had opened up to her; I had done the same.

“Well, he told me Hunk was a cooking mastermind and that his pancakes were like two hundred times better than Lance’s pancakes. Said that Allura will take a selfie anytime the lighting is right, it doesn’t matter if that happens to be in the middle of the street. And told me that he was certain that I would like you both.” Shiro says with a smile at us both and I can feel my cheeks glowing at the praise. I look at Allura and I see her cheeks are flushed slightly as she tucks the stray strands of hair escaping her ponytail back behind her ear. “And I think I do like you both. You seem nice.” He adds before taking another mouthful of cake.

“Shiro, I can’t believe you would betray me like that.” Lance says and I smile hearing the older man laugh. He seems so relaxed around Lance, and part of that I assume is that Lance had slipped into his nurse mode around him. He did it whenever me and Allura were sick after all. So, it wasn’t too far out of the realm of possibility that he would do it for this stranger. The brunette just wanted to help everyone, even if it meant disobeying _her_ and getting himself hurt because of it.

But, getting to see Lance happy and carefree as a result of taking care of Shiro made me forget about the consequences that Lance would face if _she_ found out. Shiro looked a lot better now, a few weeks after he had first come into the diner, and so did Lance. This was possibly the best thing for them both. Maybe Shiro could give Lance the courage to leave _her._ I could only hope that would happen.

It’s a while before our group’s attention is diverted from the conversation as the door to the diner opens. Allura had turned the sign over to say that we were closed while we had our lunch break which meant whoever came in was either another member of staff, or someone who couldn’t read the sign. And honestly, the latter of those two options happened most of the time. People just didn’t read the sign.

I look round the side of the booth we were sat in and Lance copies me, both of us curious to see who it was that had entered. I hear Allura sigh when we see that it’s _her_ and without even hesitating Lance gets up to go to _her._ Me and Allura watch their hushed conversation curiously, not that we could hear them. We never could after all. I look back as I hear Shiro put his fork down and it’s only then that I realise _he_ was watching too. His entire body had turned to watch Lance and _her_ , and he looked concerned.

“Lance doesn’t look very comfortable around that woman.” He says softly, bringing mine and Allura’s attention to him. His concern seems genuine and part of me wonders if he had noticed the bruises that adorned Lance’s skin. I knew they were still there, just underneath the makeup he wore to stop me and Allura from asking questions and to stop us from insisting that he left _her._

“He never seems to be comfortable around her.” Allura mutters and I nod in agreement. I knew her concern from her brother was the main priority but when he constantly refuses our help; what was there that we could do? He was an adult; we couldn’t force him to leave _her_ , or press charges on _her._ Although we had tried at first, until it had become clear that he wasn’t going to leave _her._

Silence falls in our booth as we turn back to watch Lance and I hear Allura mumble as _her_ eyes fall onto the table. _She_ seems to look straight at Shiro with recognition and both me and Allura tense. _Her_ recognising Shiro didn’t sit well with me. If _the witch_ , as Allura calls _her_ , recognised Shiro that meant they had a history together. It was something I didn’t want to consider considering how much I had grown to like Shiro during the conversations we had about his friends and I hated to think he could be just as evil as _her_. I look down at my drink as we hear Lance say goodbye to her and the door shuts back behind _her._ I keep quiet as Lance slips back into the booth and I pick up all the empty cups and plates.

“I’m going to go wash the pots, we’ll be opening again soon.” I say before I retreat back into the kitchen. I didn’t want to make Lance uncomfortable by asking about what _she_ had said to him. Especially not in front of Shiro. And especially not when he was due to go home in a few days. We had promised to do some fun things with Shiro before he went back and bringing up _her_ would just make everyone else uncomfortable.

I gently put the dishes into the sink and turn the tap on; blinking as I hear my phone buzz. I cross to my bag and slip my hand into the pocket, blinking when I see Katie’s name. The small girl I had made friends with during college very rarely talked to me about anything over than materials for robots or her engineering problems. So, to get a text saying that I needed to ring her when I could, was more than a little alarming. I take a deep breath and hit ring as I lean against the counter.

“Hey Katie, what’s the problem?” I ask once she answers as I turn the tap off, smiling as I see Lance, Allura and Shiro laughing together. I was pleased they were getting along, and it made me happy knowing Shiro had found Lance, and was helping Lance be like his old self again.

“My friend’s gone missing Hunk. All records indicate that he’s in Jersey.” She sounds relieved that I answered the phone, and given the subject matter that she had rang me about; I don’t question the fact she hadn’t even said hello to me. This was clearly more important than pleasantries.

“Right, give me a description and I’ll let you know if I’ve seen him.”

“Black hair with a shock of white. He’s covered in scars and is missing an arm.” She starts to say and I can’t help but look over at Shiro as he laughs with Allura and Lance. Shiro was friends with Katie? Now I thought about it, it made more sense. He had talked about a Katie when he was explaining about his friends but I hadn’t made the connection to my friend Katie. Even as he had said about his friend who liked to make robots. “He’s an absolute dad if you talk to him for more than ten minutes.” She adds and I can’t help but laugh. I had gotten that impression when Shiro had said about his friends. He clearly was the dad of their friend group; even if he wouldn’t admit it.

I take a moment to think about what Katie was asking of me. Knowing how Shiro was going through the loss of his arm and trying to rehabilitate himself. He was testing his limits to see what he could do by himself. I was guessing that he hadn’t seen any physiotherapists since he had vanished a few weeks ago, from Katie’s home town, and I didn’t want him to get more distressed about his arm by having his friends come here to pick him up. He had ordered a train ticket to go home after all. And Katie could sometimes be overbearing, which Shiro probably didn’t need at the minute.

“I have seen him Katie.” I say finally as I look back into the diner. “He’s safe don’t worry.” I say before she can panic and shout at me for more information. I needed to think of a way to satisfy Katie’s need to know if her friend was okay and keep Shiro happy and relaxed so that he still wanted to go home.

“How do you know that he’s safe?” She asks in a small voice and I hear it in her voice. The panic. The panic of losing a friend with no contact and I know that I had to tell her the truth.

“He’s with my friend. Lance is a trained nurse Katie, he’s making sure your friend is okay.” I explain and I hear the exhale that she makes hearing he is a trained nurse. “He’ll be back soon Katie, he misses you all; he’s been telling me and Lance all about you, Matt and Keith. He truly is a dad.” I add before she can panic anymore and ask any more questions. “I have to get back to work now Katie, but ring me if you need anything else.” I say as I grab the washing up liquid ready to finally wash the dishes.

“Thank you, Hunk. I’ll talk to you later.” She says softly and then I hear the click as she hangs up. Katie would be fine. Our conversations always lead to her feeling more confident in what she had to do. I’m sure she would do the right thing and wait for Shiro to come back home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hunk is a difficult one to write for me. I had a lot of fun writing him though. He also has the second longest chapter to date. Matt still holds the first place spot haha.
> 
> Song for the Chapter:  
> Torn In Two by After We Fall.  
> It really is a beautiful song.


	7. There For You - Matt

“They didn’t take the decision well Plaxum.” I say as me and Plaxum walk into my apartment together. She had been away when I had told Keith and Pidge to let Shiro come back when he was ready, and we had spent the night catching up. She had been attending a convention about the use of forensic psychology and had only just gotten back. She had spent the first part of our date talking about that and honestly, I hadn’t wanted to tell her to talk about something else. Seeing the way her eyes lit up when she told me about the practical uses of her job for solving crimes made me happy. It was also a welcome change of topic.

When I wasn’t working alone in the Kerberos Enterprise labs on my personal projects I was sat with Pidge and Keith, making sure they didn’t do anything stupid. For Keith, that was making sure the black-haired boy ate and didn’t overwork himself with his training. And for Pidge, that was making sure that she didn’t run off to Jersey to drag my best friend back to us. It didn’t matter how much I wanted to do that myself, I needed to accept the advice Plaxum had given me.

_Shiro would come home when **he** was ready._

But because of my new job as our groups ‘designated dad’, all my conversations at work revolved around my missing best friend. And just as I was beginning to think that I would never have a conversation about anything other than how much Pidge wanted to smack Shiro so hard his scars flew off his nose; Plaxum came home. And after nearly three hours of catching up on her life I was only just getting to talk about mine. Something that if she hadn’t asked about I don’t think I would have told her. I just enjoyed hearing her talk.

I slip into the kitchen area of my apartment, her fingers still laced with my own, to make us both a hot drink. I still couldn’t believe a woman as beautiful as Plaxum had asked me out on numerous dates, and had then tonight had asked if she could stay the night in my bed. It astounded me and yet, I hadn’t hesitated and had told her _yes_ immediately. Even with the nightmares I was happy to share a bed with her.

“But you said yourself that they probably wouldn’t take it well Matthew.” Plaxum reminds me as she sits on one of my breakfast bar stools, smoothing her skirt out as she did so. I had said that to her after all. I had had to prepare myself for the day that my little sister would find Shiro because I had known what hers and Keith’s first instinct would be. It was the same instinct I had; find Shiro, slap him and drag him back here. Or at least, it had been the same as my first instinct until that first night I had met Plaxum.

She had made so much sense that night that I had gone to her apartment to talk the next night. And the night after that. I think somewhere along the fifth night I had gone to hers she had asked me on a date, and neither of us had looked back since. I hadn’t told Keith or Pidge that Plaxum was my main reason for not sleeping at Kerberos Enterprise labs like the pair of them had been doing. I knew how they would both react. They would think I was doing it to numb the pain of Shiro being gone. And that wasn’t the case.

Over the weeks that we had talked I had found myself genuinely caring for Plaxum, to the point that just before she had left for her convention, I had asked her to be my girlfriend. She had accepted and we were happy with it just being the two of us that knew for now. Especially with it being so new and the fact we were still learning the little things about each other. Like how she would take two hour long baths whereas I could be in and out the shower in fifteen minutes. Or how she loved to cook seafood dishes or anything that was spicy for that matter. How she had heard me sing while making myself a cup of coffee when she had come into my flat one day and had thought it was adorable. It was things that I wasn’t prepared to share with Pidge or Keith just yet. At least, not until Shiro came back and they both stopped being angry together.

“I know I said that… I just thought it would be different when I actually told them. I thought they were going to surprise me and be calm about it.” I reach up to my cupboard and take the teabags that Plaxum adored before taking one to put in her teacup. She had told me which one she liked and I had bought them while she was away; wanting to surprise her with them when she next came over.

“Did you really think they would surprise you?” She asks as I start to add the coffee grounds to my cup. Her voice is soft, serene even and it’s that voice that I recognise as the voice she used when she was certain I already knew the answer.

“Not really. I guess I was just hoping that they would.” I say before adding the water from the kettle to both our cups before stirring them slowly.

“Would it have been easier if they had surprised you?” She asks as I pass her the teacup as I sit next to her. Our knees brush against one another as we sit together and I stare down into the coffee cup as I think about the question. Would it have been easier?

“Probably not. I would probably have gotten upset that they weren’t acting how I thought they would.” I say softly before taking a sip of my coffee, debating whether to bring up Pidge’s refusal to listen to me about trying to contact Shiro. _Later._ I decide before turning to her. “Plaxum?”

“Yes Matt?” My cheeks flush slightly as she addresses me as Matt and I reach forward to touch her hand gently. Her nails were long and a beautiful shade of blue with a slight shimmer to them. _Mermaid nails._ I had said when she had showed me them earlier this evening. She had laughed and given me that beautiful smile of hers. I had wanted to melt, it felt nice being smiled at out of happiness rather than pity.

“You look really beautiful, I just thought I should tell you seeing as I haven’t all night.” I say as I take her hand while sipping my coffee. Her tanned skin contrasts my pale freckled skin nicely and it made me happy seeing the contrast between our skin. She hadn’t seen the extent of my freckles yet, and I hoped she didn’t find them weird. I look back up at her and I smile noticing the slightly blush on her cheeks. It really sets off her green eyes nicely.

“Thank you, Matthew. You look nice yourself.” She squeezes my hand as she talks and I blush a little myself. I liked her calling me Matt, but hearing her call me Matthew felt better. No one called me Matthew at my own request because it felt too formal. But with Plaxum, it just felt right. I enjoyed her saying it, mainly because it didn’t feel like I was in trouble when she called me it, unlike when Shiro called me Matthew. But the main source of the blush came from the compliment. I didn’t think I looked nice. I had gone out dressed like I normally did. Baggy alien shirt and skinny jeans, and Plaxum thought I looked nice. I couldn’t help but think she was kidding, but regardless of that; I appreciated the compliment.

We sit in silence for a bit longer, the two of us sipping our drinks and playing with the others fingers. It was nice having these silences between us because they didn’t feel awkward, they felt natural. It was nice not having to spend every minute of our time together talking. I look up as Plaxum stands and gently untangles her fingers from mine so she can wash the cups we had used. And even then, there was no pressure to talk to her. I was free to just admire the beauty that was her. Her hair was slowly coming loose from the bun she had and I almost want to stand up and undo her hair, just to see what she looked like with her hair down.

“Hey Plaxum?” I call and she looks over her shoulder at me as she washes the teacup. “Do you want to borrow my clothes to sleep in, or were you going to go get some of your own?” I ask as I stand up and put my arms around her waist, resting my head on her shoulder. She gently plants a kiss on my cheek before looking back at the teacup she was washing.

“I would like to borrow your clothes if you don’t mind.” She says as she dries her hands on the hand towel I kept in the kitchen. I keep my arms around her waist and I smile as she turns around to face me.

“I don’t mind. You’ll look better in them then I do.” I say before kissing her cheek. She chuckles but says nothing more as I take her hand and lead her towards my bedroom.

My room was a fairly large room compared to the other rooms of my flat and other flats I had seen but I kept it fairly organised compared to my lab at Kerberos. The only similarity between the two rooms was the number of posters in both rooms. My ones at Kerberos were more science based, the periodic table, science puns and aliens. Whereas my bedroom had movie posters and aliens. It was also adorned with pictures of Shiro, Pidge, Keith and I together. It had a very homely vibe, and I really enjoyed the feeling it gave off.

I notice Plaxum looking at the photos on the wall and I gently unlace our fingers so I can pick out some clothes for us. I open the dresser drawer and pick two of my baggy shirts out and some shorts. I pass her the clothes and smile softly.

“Uh, there’s a bathroom through there if you want to get changed there,” I say as I put my own clothes on the bed as I wait for her to decide where she wanted to get dressed. She kisses my cheek before slipping into my bathroom. I rather quickly strip myself down and tug my clothes on. I put my phone on charge before I put my clothes from today in my wash basket. I hear Plaxum humming to herself in the bathroom as I sit on the bed cleaning my glasses as I waited.

“What do you think?” I look up at Plaxum’s voice a few minutes later and I slip my glasses back on. Her hair was loose around her waist and she looked truly beautiful in my shirt. I look at her and smile as she crosses over and sits next to me on the bed.

“I was right. You look better in my shirts then I do.” I say before pulling her close and kissing her lips rather gently. It was our first proper kiss in private and I didn’t want her to think I wanted more than just a kiss from her. So, I’m gentle as I kiss her, gently stroking her side before pulling away, a soft flush on my cheeks.  “Are they comfortable?”

“Of course, they are Matthew.” She says as she pushes her hair back over her shoulder and out the way. It looked like it was bothering her and I run my hand through her hair, trying to get the rest of her hair over her shoulder. It felt silky and smooth. I like the feeling of it against my finger. “Do you want me to tie it back up?” She asks as I stroke her hair. I blush slightly and shake my head.

“I can plait it if you want.”

“I’d like that Matthew.” She says before sitting between my legs with her back facing me. I stroke my fingers down her hair and smile as she passes me a hair tie. “When did you learn to plait?” She asks and I detect the tone of curiosity in her voice.

“My sister used to have long hair, and I enjoyed plaiting it for her.” I say as I start to section her hair into three separate sections ready for me to plait. “Apparently, I’m better than our mum at plaiting hair.” I add as I start the rhythmic pattern of plaiting her hair.

“It sounds like you and Katie are close.” I smile slightly knowing that she remembered my friend’s and sister’s names. I focus on making sure the plait stays neat before I wrap the hair tie around the bottom before slipping the plait over her shoulder so I could pull her closer to my chest. My arms slip around her waist and I smile.

“We are, she’s incredibly smart. She built a robot for the sole purpose of making it come into my lab to annoy me.” I laugh as I recall the memory. Our labs were opposite one another and when she had first started working there we had kept both of our doors open so we could talk across the corridor. And then one day this robot came in and told me in a rather robotic voice that I sucked before it left my lab and left me very confused.

“Had you done anything to annoy her?” Plaxum asks and I feel myself start to smile.

“No, that’s why it was so amusing to have this robot just appear in my lab and tell me that I sucked before it left.”  She laughs hearing what the robot said and leans further back into my hold. I smile as she turns her head to one side so that she was more comfortable, and I lean back against the headboard so that I can pull the quilt over the pair of us. I pull it up to Plaxum’s elbows and I hear a soft noise of content escape from her lips. “Go to sleep Plaxum, I’ll still be here to talk when you wake up.” I say as I brush some stray strands of hair out of her face.

“Wake me if you need to talk… Night Matthew.” She murmured as she began to drift off against my chest. I could feel the steady rise and fall of her breathing as her hot breath hit the thin fabric of my shirt and I find it sweet that she had fallen asleep against me. I let my hand rest on her side and I gently stoke up and down her side, watching as she shifts to get a little bit more comfortable.

I can’t help but find the way that she tells me she’s okay for me to wake her if I needed someone to talk to, kind of sweet, even if it isn’t a priority with me right now. I didn’t want to wake her with one of my night terrors when she was already exhausted from travelling. That and if I wasn’t honest I had found a way that stopped me from having them. And it worked. Ninety percent of the time at least. It involved me staying awake until my body passed out from exhaustion. It wasn’t the healthiest solution; but at the minute it was the only thing that seemed to work.

I sit playing with Plaxum’s hair as she sleeps and I can feel myself getting sleepy but I ignore it. I really didn’t want a night terror while she was here. She deserved a peaceful sleep after our lovely catch up. I felt so happy that she was staying the night and I wanted her to stay over more often so I needed to make sure that she wanted to stay over more often.

It’s about half an hour before I hear a knock at the front door and I frown slightly. It was late who could possibly want me? I reach for my glasses and slip them back on before gently moving Plaxum’s head onto the pillow next to me. I slide out of bed and walk to the living room, shutting the bedroom door behind me. If it was Keith or Pidge I was going to smack them. They knew not to bother me at home, that anything they wanted to tell me could be relayed via a text. They didn’t have to come here.

I’m muttering as I open the door and I blink seeing the man in front of me. Hair shaved on both sides and the slight quiff of white hair. One arm missing and the other hanging loose at his side. His skin marred with scars that I wasn’t sure were ever going to fade.

“Can I come in Matt?” He asks and I just stare at him. My heart pounding as I reach for his remaining hand and I tug him into a hug. “I’ll take that as a yes.” He says as he rests his head on top of mine. I let out a shaky gasp and nuzzle up to him.

“You can always come in Shiro. I’m glad you’re back.” I say before looking up at the man. “You can go back to being the dad, it’s exhausting.” I add and as he laughs I feel the dread surrounding me begin to settle. _Shiro was finally back._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so Shiro is back :)  
> Also Matt and Plaxum are an adorable crack ship and I love them so much.
> 
> Song for this Chapter:  
> There For You by Flyleaf


	8. Different Frequencies - Shiro

Matt had immediately busied himself with making me a drink and making sure I was sat on the couch. Before I had left I think I would have told him that he was overreacting and crowding me, but I had been gone a while; it was understandable how the smaller man was acting. It was why I had come to him first after all.

I knew Matt would take me leaving hard but I also knew that, unlike Keith and Katie, he would understand why quicker. We had been in the same accident and he had had to take the time to recover just like I had. Whereas I knew Keith and Katie wouldn’t have understood. That if I went and saw them now; I would just get plagued with questions. I didn’t want that. I was exhausted from travelling back here and Matt’s place was closer to the train station than my own place. Plus, I owed him an apology for leaving him to be the dad of the group. A task that by his first words to me I guess he hadn’t enjoyed having.

“Here Shiro.” He says as he sits on the couch next to me, gently passing me the cup of coffee he had worked on. I smile softly and take it slowly and carefully. I had managed to regain some feeling in my arm thanks to Lance helping me and I was rather grateful for it. I had even managed to get myself dressed this morning without getting annoyed at clothes. I had gotten close but after hearing Lance tell me that patience yields focus from the other room I had calmed down. And immediately regretted telling him the mantra my physiotherapist had given me.

“Thanks Matt.” I say softly and I take a sip before leaning back into the couch. I look at Matt closer this time, now feeling relaxed in the comfortable silence and I notice the little differences in his appearance. He had a faint scar along his jawline but, all the other scars seemed to have healed. The dark bags he normally had under his eyes had gotten worse and I half want to chide him for not sleeping properly but I was in no position to chide him. I hadn’t slept very well since the accident; I only ever saw the accident when I slept so I tried to avoid sleeping. I’m sure it was the same for Matt. “Did I wake you Matt?” I ask as I notice his attire. I had entirely forgotten that Matt didn’t lounge around in boxers and shirts like Keith did once he was home. Those were the clothes that Matt slept in.

“No, I haven’t been sleeping well for a while…” He says but there seems to be something more that he’s not telling me. I don’t press the matter however. If anything had changed since I had left I had no right to probe for information. I made the decision to leave for my health, but that meant that I had to wait for everyone to want to tell me about the changes in their life, and I was okay with that. “I was only in bed because my girlfriend was using me as a pillow…” His voice trails off and I notice the slight flush of his cheeks.

“A girlfriend?” I say, knowing there is no way that I _couldn’t_ tease Matt slightly about this. It was the way mine and Matt’s friendship had always been. We had met in college, we were roommates and had always made fun of the other. We knew where the line was and which topics were off limits and honestly had fun embarrassing the other in front of our potential partners. But from the way Matt had brought up the topic this was a new thing in his life, and as much as I wanted to tease him for this, I knew it probably wasn’t the right time for my teasing. I had been gone for too long for the pair of us to naturally just pick up where we had left off.

“Yeah, a girlfriend.” He repeats before scratching the back of his neck, like he did when he was nervous. I smile slightly seeing it and I take another sip of my coffee.

“Do you want to tell me about her?” I say when he doesn’t elaborate any further. I knew he didn’t want to ask me questions, and I didn’t want to probe into his life; but if neither of us asked any questions we would just end up sat in silence.

“You wouldn’t mind me talking about her?” The surprise in Matt’s voice honestly takes me by surprise. It makes me think that maybe Matt hadn’t told anyone else about the woman currently asleep in his bed and that makes me a little prouder. He was telling me first, probably because he too, knew how Katie and Keith would react to this news. Katie would be a little jealous that someone had taken her brother away, just like she had been when I had first become Matt’s friend. And Keith… Keith would take a while to open up to the idea of someone else joining our small circle of friends, let alone that someone being Matt’s girlfriend.

“Why would I mind? I have every right to know whether my son is happy.” I say teasingly as I put my coffee down onto the table. Matt smiles as I call him my son and I give him a smile in return. I adored the three of them and honestly, I couldn’t wait to be the dad friend again. I had missed them a lot more than I had expected.

“Well, I am happy. She’s wonderful Shiro.” He smiles more as he talks and I see that look in his eyes. Matt always had so much love to give, it’s why he immediately accepted me and Keith into his life with open arms. He had to make everyone happy and had had a rough time in college with girls taking him for granted. So, I’m glad he seemed so happy with this woman.

“I’m glad you’re happy. What’s she called?” I touch his hand gently and he immediately laces our fingers together. It had become a comfort thing back in college and we both did it without thinking now. It had been after a bad break up and I had laced our fingers together while Matt cried, just to let him know that if he wanted to talk I was there. And we hadn’t looked back since.

“Plaxum.” Matt’s head whips around as we hear the females voice from his bedroom. I lift my head slowly and I smile softly. She was a dark-skinned beauty and was dressed in Matt’s clothes. Her hair intricately plaited over her shoulder, something I knew Matt had done. He loved plaiting hair and had even done it to Keith’s while my little brother had slept one day. “You boys aren’t the quietest.” She says with a smile as she crosses over to us and sits in the chair near Matt. I notice how relaxed she is around Matt and I smile more. She wasn’t like those girls that had taken advantage of Matt in college, she was different.

“Shiro, this is Plaxum.” He says almost gingerly before turning to her. “I’m sorry we woke you up.” He adds under his breath and I get the feeling I wasn’t meant to hear those whispered words. Instead I look at how he acts with her and the more I see how they interact and how their fingers fit together without them looking, the more I feel confident that Matt had made a good choice in dating her.

“Don’t worry Matthew, I know you’ve not seen each other in a while.” She says softly before smiling softly at me. I notice the distinct accent on Matt’s full name and I know that it’s a hint of Jersey, but there’s an underlying accent that I can’t place. It makes me happy that she calls him Matthew though, if only to see him melt at the way she says it. He looked the happiest I had ever seen him and it made me trust that she would look after him.

“If you don’t mind me asking, how do you know that we’ve not seen each other for a while?” I ask and I raise my eyebrow noticing that Plaxum looks at Matt first, as though questioning whether she was allowed to tell me. Matt nods and I see him squeezing her hand gently before they both look to me.

“Matthew and I met after he had a nightmare. I heard him from my apartment down the hall. I was concerned and came to talk to him to see if he was okay.” She starts and I smile slightly. She was caring and considerate, that bode well for my impression of her. “We started talking because I wanted to help him, and we started talking about the fact his friend had left, and how both of your friends had taken it. He keeps asking me for my advice on how to deal with Katie and Keith.” I notice how she doubts herself when she says Keith and Katie’s names and Matt nods at her, trying to encourage her. Maybe that accent I couldn’t place was from her native language and she keeps nearly slipping into that instead of English?

“I did wonder how he had stopped them from following me.” I say with a smile. It had weighed on my mind as I left if I was honest. I was well aware that leaving them was a decision they wouldn’t understand. I knew that Keith would have no qualms following me, and with how smart Katie was, Keith would have had the resources to track me down immediately. It was why I had been so reluctant to use my card while I was in Jersey. Not that I would ever admit that to them.

“Believe me, it was difficult. Pidge still wants to smack you so hard that scar flies off your face and I think the last time I saw Keith that betrayed was when you told me about how he snuck out of the orphanage to hunt Mothman that one time.” Matt says and it gets an honest laugh out of me. I knew Keith would be betrayed that I had left him, but comparing it to the Mothman story made me relax. I had forgotten about that story completely, and how betrayed Keith had looked as I told it. He had forgiven me for telling it, so I hoped he would forgive me for this.

“He forgave Shiro for that though, right?” Plaxum says and both me and Matt nod. It didn’t bother me that Matt had apparently told Plaxum these stories. If she was going to be a part of our circle of friends and a part of Matt’s life; she needed to know these things.

“He did yes, took him a week though.” I say softly before picking my coffee up once again. “It might take him longer to forgive me for leaving this time.” I add after taking a small sip of the warm liquid. Keith _would_ forgive me. It just would take him a while. What will mess Keith up more is the fact I made new friends while I was gone. He was an introvert and he didn’t understand how me and Matt could make friends so easily. I might have to have a one on one conversation with Keith after I saw him and Katie tomorrow.

“He might surprise you. Matthew said he took it relatively well when he said they had to give you time before you would come back.” Plaxum’s voice is soft and I look at her curiously. Trying to detect any hint that she was lying in order to spare my feelings of dread. I smile a little when I don’t detect any and I look at the coffee in my hand.

“Keith very rarely surprises me anymore. He’s still that angry boy I met years ago, me leaving will have upset him, and I know it will have. The sooner I accept that the sooner I can work on breaking it to him that I want to take you to the diner I went to in Jersey. I want you to meet the people that helped me.” I say softly as I try to contain my excitement at the thought of going back to Jersey. I knew they would be bitter about me leaving still and yet, I wanted to take them there. I knew if they gave it a chance they would enjoy meeting the new friends I had made.

“You want us to go with you to Jersey?” Matt seems to test the words on his tongue before he looks at me. He doesn’t seem to think that I’m being serious and I look at him before I nod. I was one hundred percent serious. I really wanted them to meet the three new friends I had made.

“Yeah, I really think Keith will like the diner. And Katie will get on great with Hunk, he’s an engineer. And they do really nice strawberry cheesecake Matt, and Lance would get on great with you.” I elaborate and I smile as my fingers grip my cup more. I had noticed the way Plaxum had reacted as I had said Lance’s name and I can’t ignore it. Did she know Lance?

“Excuse me, which Diner was it?” She asks and I see Matt’s expression of concern drift from myself to his girlfriend. I raise an eyebrow slightly at her question, maybe my initial thought was right. Maybe she did know Lance.

“Oh, it’s the Sunrise Diner.” I say and I see her curiosity turn into a small, worried smile. Clearly, she hadn’t been expecting that answer. Or had been praying for anything other than that answer.

“What’s wrong Plaxum?” Matt turns his entire body to her as he talks; something he did when he was extremely concerned about who he was talking to. I see him squeeze her hand and she looks at me.

“Did you stay in a hotel Shiro?” Her voice is soft, reassuring even. But the question itself makes me panic. I had stayed with Lance after all. A stranger that I didn’t know at first. I had put my trust in Lance and it had paid off. The kid hadn’t hurt me and he seemed to enjoy looking after me. I hadn’t wanted to tell Matt because he would tell me that I had been stupid. But what was done was done, I couldn’t go back and undone that now.

“No, uh Lance said that his mum would kill him if he made me sleep in a hotel. I stayed with him why?” Matt looks at me like I was stupid at that. I expected this reaction. It was exactly why I was reluctant to tell Keith and Katie that I had slept in a stranger’s bedroom. And even though I expected this reaction, witnessing it first-hand is different to _knowing._ “Matt, I know it was stupid, but trust me, the kid has a heart of gold.” I add and I see Plaxum nod along with me. I had been right, she _did_ know Lance.

“Lance is harmless Matthew. We went to nursing school together, he went back to do a course in physiotherapy.” She says fondly and it helps me realise why Lance had been so good with my lack of useful limbs. He had been trained for it. “It’s his girlfriend you have to watch out for.” That however, is said with such a blatant hatred for the woman that it takes both me and Matt by surprise. At least it does, until I remember the blonde woman that had come in while I had been at the diner. I remember seeing Lance tense as she talked to him and I frown a little.

“Blonde woman, hair in a weird series of ponytails?” I ask and I see Plaxum nod sadly. It just confirms the theory I had had when I had seen their exchange and it made me want to text Lance and ask if he was okay. But part of me can’t bring myself to get my phone out. If I text him and he hadn’t wanted me to know about it, I risk losing him as a friend. I decide not to text him. This wasn’t something you texted each other about, it could wait till I next saw him.

“Why?” Matt asks softly as he squeezes her hand gently.

“She doesn’t like it when Lance has friends over, it cuts into her time with him. She’s also not the nicest person to be around.” She says and from the expression on her face; she doesn’t want to say much more. Not that I blamed her. This wasn’t her situation to talk about; it was Lance’s. if he had wanted me to know he would have told me about her. But suddenly the bruise I had seen on his wrist that first morning made a little bit more sense. I frown a little and look at Plaxum as she stands. “I’m going back to bed. It was nice meeting you Shiro. Goodnight Matthew, Shiro.” She says and she walks slowly back to Matt’s room.

“She seems nice.” I say once his bedroom door has closed and laugh when I see Matt’s face. He knew the teasing was going to come soon. And while I was more than happy to let him think that; I wasn’t going to tease him anytime soon. Matt deserved to be happy. I was just going to let the anticipation of me eventually teasing him hang over his head until I decided to tease him.

“Told you she was. I’ll get you a quilt and a pillow. We can see Pidge and Keith tomorrow.” He says with such a soft smile. I lay down on the sofa as he heads off to get what he said. I vaguely recognise the feeling of being tucked in before I fall asleep. It felt good to be back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shiro is back; and this Shiro isn't a clone haha 
> 
> Song for this chapter;  
> Different Frequencies by Skyhill. I love Skyhill, want a band with emotional lyrics and a soothing voice? Check them out :)


	9. Something's Gotta Give - Keith

I mumbled as I wake and I feel Katie leant against me. When had we fallen asleep? And had she fallen asleep on me yet again? Not that I minded, I just didn’t remember falling asleep. I gently drape the blanket back over her and lay her down on the pillow on the floor next to me. She deserved to sleep a little bit more.

I get up once I’m certain that Katie is still asleep and I stretch my aching muscles. Sleeping on the floor really wasn’t good for my health. Yet, I didn’t want to go home and sleep in my apartment so I had taken to sleeping on the floor of Katie’s lab at Kerberos Enterprises. Although sleep wasn’t really the word for it, it was more like I watched her and Matt work until I passed out. It was the only that I could get myself to actually sleep nowadays. Matt said that it wasn’t healthy and I knew it wasn’t. There was just no other way.

I was way too upset and worried about Shiro to settle myself down enough to be able to sleep. I was still working out and training on a daily basis, as well helping Katie and Matt, and I knew they were both concerned. I just didn’t know how to relax when I was stressed. I had to keep moving. I had to be doing something. If I wasn’t doing something I would sink back into worrying about Shiro and worrying that he was never going to come back. And that was a thought that I didn’t want to entertain.

I couldn’t lose Shiro. I had thought I would lose him when he left to go to college. And I had thought that again, when he introduced me to Matt. But those were different. With them I knew where Shiro was and that he was safe both times. This time; I didn’t know that. I knew that he was in Jersey, but I didn’t know where in Jersey, or whether he was safe. And it killed me not knowing. I didn’t want to lose him.

Sighing, I enter the locker room at the Kerberos Enterprise’s gym and walk slowly to my locker. I wasn’t going to train today, my muscles ached too much from sleeping on the cold floor of Katie’s lab. I could due to give them a rest anyway. I enter the code for my locker and pull out my towel, body wash and shampoo, making a mental note to go buy more at some. It would be a bit of a trek to the store that carried them, but it was worth it. I strip down and put my clothes into the locker before crossing to the shower block.

It was still empty when I got in which lead me to believe that I had woken up rather early compared to usual. Not that I minded. It just felt weird not hearing the quiet chatter of other people, or the murmur of music from each cubicle. Or, as was the case some mornings, hearing the sounds of sex. I frown at that thought as I slip into my usual cubicle. I put my towel on the shelf and place the bottles on their shelf before turning to mess with the shower’s control panel.

The showers at Kerberos Enterprise’s had been specially fitted with iPad-like control panels. It was connected to a database that Matt had created that stored everyone’s preference for showers when they logged onto the server. It meant that once the shower started it was at the right temperature for everyone’s individual needs and played music they liked within their cubicles. It was quite a neat invention. It also cut down the time I spent in the shower. I smile hearing one of my favourite songs start to play and I press the button to start the water.

I relax at the feeling of the hot water rushing over my shoulders. I always had my showers blisteringly hot, it helped me relax better. As the water rushes over my skin I can feel my aching muscles start to relax and it makes me smile. I had forgotten how refreshing these showers could be, especially when I didn’t have to wait for the water to heat up.

I get out of the shower a good fifteen minutes later feeling a lot more relaxed. The smell of strawberries and cherries lingering on my skin and hair. Once dry and redressed I head back down to Katie’s lab, figuring I could do something before Katie woke up and we got breakfast together. Matt wouldn’t be here for a while since he went home to sleep. At times, I wished he would stay so we could watch some films about aliens together, but other times it was nice to have Katie to myself. She indulged me in my love of conspiracy theories and it was nice to have that. I really felt that we had grown closer since Shiro had left. It was nice to know that if Shiro didn’t come back I did still have someone that loved me just as much as him.

_I am not going to lose Shiro._

I repeat it in my head over and over as I type the code to gain entry into the lab and I smile seeing the small Italian girl still asleep. She hadn’t even moved from where I had left her. I sit at the desk my computer was in front of and log back onto the Kerberos Enterprises server. I might as well check my emails while I wait for Katie to wake up.

I’m midway through checking the twenty plus emails I had let pile up since I had last checked them when I hear the door to the lab open. I turn around in my chair and blink seeing Matt stood awkwardly in the doorway. I raise an eyebrow at his awkward stance and smile slightly as he looks over.

“Good morning Keith.” He says, trying to stay composed as I watch him. I study the way he’s stood and I shake my head. He was hiding something. He hadn’t said ‘good morning’ to me in weeks. Something was up.

“What are you hiding?” I say and I see Matt falter slightly. He has to know that I saw through his ruse. I just don’t think that he was prepared for me to figure it out that quickly.

“Nothing.”

“Bullshit.”

“Language Keith.” I tense at that voice and I stand up. That was Shiro. Shiro was back? I move without thinking towards the doorway the minute Matt steps away from it. I dive immediately into Shiro’s chest and wrap my arms around him, feeling safe the minute I hug him. I lift my head slightly as his arm wraps around me and I smile slightly. “Hey Keith.” I frown at his casual greeting and I straighten up.

“You left me Shiro!” I shout and I notice how Shiro looks down at the floor. I knew this would be painful for us both, but I really wanted to get it over with. “You left me without telling me! Why couldn’t you just tell me you wanted to go away for a bit?” I add as I look at the floor. I really was more hurt that Shiro hadn’t told me he was leaving. I had thought that I would never see him again. And as that thought crosses my mind I feel the tears beginning to fall. They’re not the normal tears. The tears are loud and sad and it makes Shiro step closer to me in order to slip his arm around me.

“I’m sorry Keith, it was a spur of the moment thing.” He says as he pulls me closer to him again. I wasn’t sure whether I wanted to be nuzzled against his chest, but I make no attempt to move away from Shiro’s hold. Some part of me at least wanted to be nuzzled into Shiro’s safe embrace but the other part of me wanted to smack him still. He had still left me after all.

“You could have texted me Shiro.” I say quietly before relaxing into his hold. I wasn’t going to smack him. I figured that I’d let Katie smack him. She would probably be more angry at him than I was now. My anger disappearing as my elder brother pulled me close to his chest. It’s such a protective gesture and I melt into it. I needed the protection that his arm would give me even after all these years.

“I know I should have Keith. I’m sorry.” I feel his hand gently rub my back as he talks and I nod slowly. His hand felt nice. It was reassuring. It reminded me that he was back and reassured some part of me that he wasn’t going to leave me again. “Next time I want to leave, I’ll let you know.”

“Damn right you will.” I murmur before gripping at Shiro’s shirt, as though to prevent him from leaving me once again.

I don’t know how long I force Shiro to stay stood with me like this, but I know that it doesn’t feel like it was long enough. By time Shiro gently unwraps his arm from my waist, the tears have dried on my cheeks and Matt was bringing coffee to the pair of us. I really needed a coffee right about now. Normally the shower woke me up fully but after seeing Shiro again, I just wanted to curl up and sleep on my big brother. Shiro always said I was like a cat. Once I fell asleep leaning on someone they never wanted to move me for fear of their death.

“Keith.” Shiro says as he leads me to the small sofa in Katie’s lab. I’m surprised that Katie had yet to wake up. Normally she woke up when I went to go train and was usually working on some project by time I came back. But as I went to bed first last night I had no clue when she had come to bed last night. She could still be exhausted. “I have something I need to talk to you about.”

“Yeah.” I look up at Shiro as I sit on the couch and I take the coffee that Matt was offering me. I didn’t know what Shiro was going to talk to me about but he had used the ‘ _dad’_ voice for it, and I’d be damned if I listened to him talk without coffee in my system. I’m taking a sip of my coffee when I see Matt pass Shiro his own cup, and I smile when he doesn’t drop his cup almost immediately like last time.

“You know when I left I went to Jersey? Well, I met these people that own a diner. And I want to take you, Matt and Katie to meet them.” Shiro’s voice is soft, and I know he’s trying really hard not to alarm me. But the fact my elder brother had been gone for so damn long and had met new people was not sitting well with him. “And to get really good food.” He adds as an afterthought but honestly my brain is already spiralling at the thought of meeting new people. I take a sip of my coffee to ground myself; hoping that the caffeine would make it easier to think.

I hated meeting new people. Normally Shiro got away with making me meet new people because he didn’t prewarn me that I had to meet them, like he had done for the Holt family. But when I was warned it was so much worse. My body would tense, my heartrate would quicken and I just wouldn’t speak. Shiro had called them panic attacks but honestly, I didn’t think they were that. I just was happy with a very small group of friends.

But on the other hand, these strangers had helped Shiro feel comfortable enough to come back. Maybe I should at least give them a shot to prove themselves worthy of knowing my elder brother. And if I felt after this that they weren’t worthy of knowing him; I would never have to see them again.

_Hopefully._

“You want me to meet new people?” I ask, trying to be supportive of these people Shiro had met. I was going to reserve my judgement until after I had met them at least. Besides I didn’t want to immediately get defensive and have Shiro leave me for them.

“Yes, but I want you to try the cheesecake they make Keith, it’s really good.” I feel a small whine escape my throat as he mentions cheesecake. I really loved cheesecake. I had told Shiro I would kill a man for cheesecake before. He had assumed I was joking.

_I was not joking._

“When would we be going?” I ask as I see Katie stirring slightly. I might not have a problem with this trip because I had been bribed with cheesecake, but Katie wouldn’t be as easily swayed. Not when she wanted to smack Shiro for leaving anyway.

“Whenever you would drive us there Keith.” He responds and I look down into my coffee cup. He was giving control of the trip to me. I sip some more of the coffee before I relax a little bit. If I was in control of going on the road trip that eased some of my anxieties. Especially my main one about losing the position of Shiro’s pilot. I could simply be his driver instead. I would like that.

“When Keith drives us where?” Shiro nearly chokes on his coffee when he hears Katie talk and I smile slightly at his reaction. Katie had a habit of making us all choke on our drinks by just talking at random points. It was astounding that she could always manage to make us jump just by talking if I was honest. “You.” She says as her eyes fall on Shiro. She goes to stand and I see Matt instantly hold her back. His arms wrapping around his sister’s small and angry frame was always an amusing sight.

“Pidge, you can’t do it, let him explain at first.” I hear Matt talk and unsurprisingly; Katie doesn’t stop squirming in his hold. She really was pissed at Shiro.

“It’s fine Matt. Let her get the anger out. She’s not going to listen if I explain it now.” Shiro’s voice is soft, reassuring and _dad-like._ He pulled off the dad voice a lot better than Matt did. Partly because Shiro _wanted_ to be the dad. Matt hadn’t wanted it, it had been forced upon him due to Shiro’s absence. I watch Matt loosen his grip on Katie and she mutters incoherent words under her breath at him.

“You left us all! You made Keith a goddamn broken mess when he discovered you had just gone!” She shouts and both Matt and I flinch. Katie really wasted no time in starting with her rant. I knew she had been annoyed by this but I don’t think I had realised just how annoyed she had been. “You left without telling any of us! You didn’t respond to our texts! I thought you were dead! Keith thought you were dead!” She shouts as she manages to break free of Matt’s hold.

I watch as she crosses slowly to Shiro. Matt makes no attempt to stop her from moving. Even when she’s stood in front of Shiro, he doesn’t go to stop her. In fact, it looks like Matt wants to smack Shiro himself. I didn’t want to anymore. Shiro hugging me and being protective of me once again meant that the anger I had originally felt had now faded. But that didn’t mean I was going to stop Katie. She had every right to be angry, and I wasn’t going to take that from her. The sound of the smack echoes around the lab. It sounded like Katie had put her entire force behind it and yet; Shiro doesn’t flinch. Instead he just looks up at Katie.

“Do you feel better Katie?” His voice is soft and concerned as he looks the youngest Holt over. She too looked amazed that Shiro had taken that slap without flinching. It had almost been like he knew she was going to slap him.

“A little.” She murmurs before she sits back on the floor near me and Shiro. “Where’s Keith going to drive us?” She asks as she starts to flex her hand out. I imagine smacking Shiro that hard must really hurt. And I didn’t plan on testing that theory by punching the elder male.

“It’s a diner I went to while I was away. I want you all to meet the people that helped me while I was away.” Shiro explains for her and I see her eyes narrow slightly. What was Katie going to take offence to? Was it the new friend part? Or did Katie not care about that like I did.

“Wait, Keith agreed to meet new people?!” She exclaims after a few minutes and succeeds in making both Shiro and Matt choke on their coffees. I can’t help but pout at their reactions to Katie’s joke about me. I didn’t make fun of them for their fears.

_Maybe I should._

“He bribed him with cheesecake Pidge.” Matt explains and I immediately look away from him. He had betrayed me by telling her that. I would make sure to tell Matt later that he wasn’t meant to tell Katie stuff like that. Especially not when she was extremely good at adapting puns for every possible scenario as it was. She didn’t need any more ammunition.

“Figures.” _God damn it._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And Shiro is back with Keith. All is right. Also yes, bribe Keith with cheesecake; It works.
> 
> Well it is until we get to the next chapter, which is one of my favourites. You'll see why when it's posted.
> 
> Song for the chapter:  
> Something's Gotta Give by All Time Low


	10. Vanity & Rot - Lance

I look over as Hunk turns the sign over to let anyone that walked past know that we were closed for the night. It was late at night and I was exhausted. I still had to clean up after a day of work and then I had to go to Nyma’s. Or she was picking me up. Her text hadn’t been too clear this morning when she had confronted me about having people stay over at my house.

She hadn’t done anything the day before because Shiro had still been here. But he had gone home yesterday morning and Nyma knew that. She knew that he was gone now and she expected me at home and by her side tonight. I didn’t know whether she was more upset about Shiro staying, or the fact I hadn’t stayed at her place while her and Rolo had been gone. Either way I knew I was going to have to make this up to her somehow.

I had taken one of the cupcakes for her and I really hoped she would like it. It didn’t have blue frosting and it wasn’t strawberry flavoured like the last cupcake I had brought her. So, I was feeling pretty good about my chances with this vanilla cupcake with light green icing.

“Hey Lance? Want me to put the radio on while you clean the tables?” Hunk calls out from the kitchen hatch and I smile a little. The brunette always seemed to know when I was beginning to doubt myself and knew how to take my mind off that. It baffled me how he knew, but somehow; he just knew. Probably just from being my friend for as long as he had been. That or he was secretly psychic.

“Hunk? You’d tell me if you were psychic, right?” I call out, completely ignoring his question about the radio. I had more pressing things on my mind. I look over at Hunk when he doesn’t immediately answer me and I can’t help but smile at his face. He looks slightly confused at the question before he shakes his head at me. I got this look off Hunk at least once a week, it no longer was a surprise; but I enjoyed it every time regardless.

“Of course, buddy.” Despite his confusion about the question Hunk answers it anyway. His confusion is clear in his voice but I think I would be confused too if someone just randomly asked if I was psychic. Even if I had known them all my life. “Do you want the radio on?” He repeats his earlier question, probably figuring that I had just zoned out as per usual and had missed it. I decide not to tell him that I hadn’t missed the earlier question.

“Sure.” I respond before turning back to the first table to start cleaning it. The minute the music starts I can’t help but move the wet dishcloth in time to the music that was playing, my hips swaying in time. It was nice closing up the diner with Hunk. He didn’t make it so I constantly had to talk. He let me work in comfortable silence with the radio playing, occasionally asking me a question that had popped into his mind.

Closing up with Allura was a different matter entirely. She was a chatterbox once you got to know her which meant that we never spent the time in silence. Which was fine with me, I could be a chatterbox too after all. But there were some days where I really didn’t mind, it was nice getting to talk to my sister without having to tend to customers the entire time. But there were also days where I did wish she would just shut up and let me do my job. They were extremely rare and few and far between though, and most of the time I just sucked it up and talked to her anyway. I didn’t want to upset her by asking her to shut up. After all, she didn’t mean to annoy me by talking and it was never her fault that I was in a shitty mood.

Half an hour later Hunk and I have finished cleaning our respective areas and are walking out the diner together. He had more of a spring in his step than usual and it makes me smile seeing it. Hunk was normally exhausted at the end of a long shift like that, so to see him still so lively made me wonder if there was a reason why he was so lively.

“Hunk?”

“Yeah Lance?” Even when he looks at me he still looks as bright and happy as he had done at the beginning of his shift. Either Hunk had gotten good at pretending he wasn’t tired, or he had something fun planned.

“What you doing now?” I ask softly and I see his smile grow more. He had something really fun planned from the looks of it.

“Remember when we took Shiro to that museum with Allura?” He starts and I can’t help but smile a little. It had been an art museum where all the pieces for the exhibition were based on either space or the stories behind the constellations. Shiro’s eyes had been so wide as he looked round. He had told all three of us that one of his friends, Keith, would really enjoy this because he adored space. He then had told us in the most dad-like way possible that Keith had nearly become an astronaut and none of us could stop the smiles we gave him. He just seemed so happy telling us about his friends.

“The one were Allura insisted we all took a selfie in front of the constellation chart?” I ask and I hear Hunk’s hearty laugh at the memory. Allura’s twitter had nearly exploded when she posted the one with Shiro. Everyone had assumed they were dating and Allura was still trying to dig herself out of that hole. I did have to admit that the photo it’s self was extremely cute and Allura had set it as her phone’s lock screen after Shiro had left.

“I had forgotten about that.” He says softly as we walk to his car, “Well while you were all looking at the painting of Artemis and listening to Shiro being a dad and talk about the story; I was looking at one of the solar system models. And uh… a girl started talking to me.”

“A girl?” I ask with such a questioning tone. It wasn’t as though this was the first girl that had chatted up Hunk but it was rare that Hunk took an interest back in them. So, I wanted to know more about this girl. And whether she was going to hurt my best friend.

“Her name’s Shay, we’re going to go see a movie together tonight.” He blushes as he talks and I blink at him. Hunk was going on a date? Hunk normally never learned these girl’s names let alone agreed to go on dates with them.

“You should have told me. I would have closed up myself buddy.” I shake my head at him and punch him lightly in the arm.

“I wanted to close up. I was too nervous to go straight away.” He says as he unlocks his car and climbs in. I move out the way and wait until he rolls down the window before giving him a big grin. He deserved this date. He was always worrying about me and Nyma that he hadn’t taken anytime for himself in a long time. This would be good for him.

“Well, enjoy yourself, don’t stay out too late and text me how it went?” I say softly and while Hunk rolls his eyes I know that he would follow my advice.

“Of course, Lance.” He says softly. And seconds later, it’s just me left alone in the diner’s car park, and it’s as I’m left alone that I realise just how cold the night air was. I hadn’t realised it was this cold when Hunk had been with me.

I sigh and take my phone out my pocket, deciding to check whether Nyma had responded to my request for clarification. She hadn’t it seemed and with that I set off towards her place, cupcake in hand and jacket pulled round tight. It was going to be a very cold and long walk.

~~~*~~~

I spend a good five minutes just staring at the front door of Nyma’s place. Part of me didn’t want to go in, and part of me wanted to. She was my girlfriend and I loved her so much but so many of the comments that my friends, Shiro included, as well as patrons of the diner over the past few weeks had made so much sense to me. She hadn’t changed since we had gotten together. In fact, she had gotten more secretive with me, that wasn’t how a relationship should function. _Was it?_ This was my first relationship after all. Unless you count the little girl in kindergarten that had told me I was her boyfriend one day during recess. And I certainly didn’t count her.

At first, I had simply thought it was just because Hunk and Allura didn’t like her. So, I kept dating Nyma out of spite because why wouldn’t I be happy that a beautiful girl like Nyma was interested in me. And hearing Rolo tell me that over and over had just reinforced that in my mind. I should be happy with Nyma; _but I wasn’t._ And the more I thought about the comments over the years and Nyma’s actions, the more I realised that my friends and that mother had been right in their advice.

_If someone is hurting you physically, mentally, or emotionally and refuses to change; leave them._

That was what I had to do. It was going to be hard, and she would probably fight me on the topic but; _I had to do it._ I had to tell her that I wasn’t going to be her punching bag anymore. Or her sex toy. Or Rolo’s punching bag and sex toy for that matter. I just had to march in and tell her straight to her face that I can’t do this anymore. I love her but I can’t do this anymore.

I go to lift my hand to the doorknob of the front door and my heart picks up. I knew what I had to do. So why couldn’t I do it? Why did the thought of telling her how I felt make me so nervous? Why did it feel like my heart was pounding out of my chest? Why did I feel so sick?

I look back down at my hands and see the cupcake I had brought her as a peace offering for having a friend stay at my apartment. Why had I brought her that? She didn’t need treats like this when I was trying to leave her. I put it in the bush next to the front door and try to focus my thoughts. My now free hand immediately moves to the hem of my shirt to play with it, I was nervous. I couldn’t go in without knowing exactly what I wanted to say.

_I needed a plan._

I bite my lip as I think. Normally breakups had cheesy lines of ‘it’s not you it’s me’, that wouldn’t work here. It was very much her fault not mine. They normally praised their good characteristics. Did Nyma have any good characteristics? The thought trails off in my head as I hear movement inside and then I hear Nyma laugh. That beautiful laugh. Okay, maybe she had one good characteristic. Maybe I could tell her why I didn’t want to be with her anymore? It was the harsher route yes but it was probably the one I was going to have to take.

I take a deep breath before opening the door to see Nyma and Rolo lounging on the sofa naked together. Clearly the laughter I had heard was the aftermath of them having sex together. My eyes can’t help but fall on Nyma’s body as the front door closes behind me. She notices my gaze almost immediately and saunters over to me, her hips swaying as she walked.

“You’re back Lance.” She purrs at me as she presses her slightly tanned body against me. “Like what you see?” She asks and I hear Rolo laugh. The sound sends a shiver down my spine. I hated it when he laughed at me. But if my plan went well I wouldn’t have to hear him laugh at me ever again. If I could just hang onto that everything would be okay.

“Of course, he does Nyma, you are beautiful after all.” Rolo coos and I frown a little when Nyma laughs at him. Stuff like this wasn’t normal for a relationship. It couldn’t be. Letting me believe I was the only one that loved her this way and sharing me? That wasn’t normal, was it?

“Nyma, can I talk to you in our bedroom?” I ask quietly as I fiddle with the hem of my shirt nervously. She tilts her head in my direction at the question, her loose blonde hair falling over her shoulder. I’m half expecting her to say no to me and to tell me that I could talk in front of Rolo. So, instead I am pleasantly surprised when she leads me by my hand to the bedroom we shared.

I let Nyma sit on the bed and ignore her motions for me to join her. Instead I stay near the doorway, so that when this turned south I could leave hurriedly. The idea of having to linger in this room after telling her that I wanted to break up made me more nervous about what I needed to do.

“What’s the matter baby?” I tense slightly at the nickname that she had given me. At first it had been nice having a nickname from her but I really wish she would call me by my name still. I didn’t like the way she said it when she said baby. It sounded teasing, patronising and condescending all at once.

“I don’t think I want to do this anymore Nyma.” is the opening line that I eventually settle on. I watch her reaction for any sign of a fight and I see something flicker in her eyes. I couldn’t tell if it was anger or annoyance but either way it didn’t bode well for this conversation. I had already felt like I was going to be stepping on eggshells just by having this conversation with her. But now I really was feeling like I was standing on eggshells and they had all just cracked.

“What do you mean by that baby?” Her voice is sweet still. It’s the voice she uses when she tries to convince me that I’m wrong. I would not be taken in by it this time. I needed to stay focused on what I came here to do. I needed to make sure that I said everything that I wanted to say to her. She needed to know how she had made me feel during the course of our relationship. If this even counted as a relationship.

“I mean I can’t do this anymore, I don’t want to do this anymore. I want to have a loving relationship Nyma and that isn’t what this relationship is.” My voice is quiet but I can tell she’s focusing on me. Focusing on my voice and on the words coming out of my mouth. There’s that flicker of annoyance in her eyes once again.

“You’re being stupid Lance.” Nyma coos as she flicks her hair back over her shoulder, trying to entice me into bed with her. As much as I would like to believe that I was being stupid and it was all in my head, I don’t think I could ignore the comments off my friends anymore. “You know that I love you.” My resolve weakens slightly at that. She rarely told me that she loved me, she told me that saying it too much lessened the impacts of the words.

“Love is free and kind Nyma, you have been anything but free, kind or loving during this entire relationship. What you call love is destroying my life. I don’t think you even know what it means to love or even be loved.” The words flow out of me before I even know what I’ve said. I’m amazed that my tone is still calm and quiet. Maybe this would be less of an argument than I had originally thought.

“Have your friends been telling you lies again?” Her tone is different now. It’s harsher. Fiercer. She’s starting to get annoyed with what I’m saying, her eyes burning with annoyance. I knew this would happen. I just didn’t realise it would annoy me so much.

“This isn’t about them Nyma! This is about you not treating me like a person!” I really hadn’t wanted to raise my voice at her. She didn’t need me to yell at her. But I didn’t need her accusing my friends of lying to me when they had said the same things over the entire course of our relationship. They had never once wavered on their opinion of her. “You treat me like I’m your property. You bruise me and mark me as yours then lend me out to Rolo and expect me to just let you do that. I’m not your property! I am your boyfriend!”

“Those bruises you wear are badges of honour! You should feel lucky someone like me wants to date you!” She snaps it and I see how her fists clench. I take a step back, terrified she was going to hit me for yelling at her. Instead I feel my heart pound more as she unfurls her fists slowly. “You love me no matter what I do. You would fight back if you didn’t want it and you know that Lance.” And just like that; her voice is gentle and soft. As though she never raised it at me. It scares me more that she can go from angry to calm in mere seconds.

“I love you yes, but I’m not sure you ever loved me. Love brings the feeling of protection and I have never once felt that with you.” And as she lowers he voice, so do I. I didn’t want to make her angry unnecessarily, especially when there was the chance she would hit me again, but I needed her to know how she had made me feel. Maybe then it would make her change her behaviour.

“Who put a roof over your head? Who made sure you were fed and clothed Lance? Who did that?! _I did that!_ ” Her voice changes again, it was getting difficult to predict how she would react to my words now. But I couldn’t stop now.  “You never questioned my methods of loving you until _he_ came along. What did he tell you?!” She demands, her voice trembling as she raises her pitch several octaves. She looked terrifying to me. Her hair had fallen back over her shoulders, already messy from her activities with Rolo, and her expression wild. I regretted starting the argument. I shouldn’t have started the argument.

_No. **Nyma needed to know this.**_

“Because what you gave me was never love, I can’t question what you never gave! This has nothing to do with Shiro! This has everything to do with you and only you!” I don’t care that I raise my voice at the blonde woman in front of me anymore. Yes, no one deserved their partner yelling at them but she was refusing to see her mistakes and how much they had hurt me. Getting me angry is the only thing she still listens too.

 “They’ve packed you so full of their lies baby. You don’t know what you’re saying. I love you and you know that. Come sit with me and I’ll prove that I love you.” She changes her tactic. She goes back to playing the cute innocent girl she had been before this all started. She twirls her hair around her fingers and lets her legs fall open so I could see everything she was offering if I came back to her. I don’t look. I didn’t want to take her up on that offer.

“Nyma.” I say, finally addressing her once again. It seemed to annoy her when I used her name but I didn’t care. I was beyond the point of trying to keep her calm. I want to make her see reason, not keep her calm. “You know nothing about love. You’re the one that’s full of their own lies.”

“You owe me your life Lance, remember? I protected you and kept you safe.” It takes her no time before she goes back to trying to twist me back under her control. The sweet tactic hadn’t worked so she was trying the usual controlling one.

“I owe you _nothing_ Nyma. I don’t belong to anyone but _me._ ” I look her in the eye as I talk. Or as close to maintaining eye contact with the fiery woman in front of me as I could. It was something Allura had told me months ago: _I was my own person, I owed no one anything._

“Stop being a selfish baby Lance.”

“I’m being selfish? I don’t get to do anything that you don’t approve of, I can’t see my friends. I don’t get to pick my own clothes and I’m the one being selfish?!” The anger comes so easily to me now. I didn’t get how she could be so damn ignorant. I was selfish because I wanted to be treated like a human? It what world was that selfish?

“Yes, you are.” She says before standing up and crossing over to me. Her hips sway seductively as she starts to walk and I keep my eyes focused on her hands. She only stood up to smack me during arguments. “I thought that you would have missed me while I was away from work so I thought I would wait for you so I could show you just how much I missed you.” She presses herself against me as she talks and I feel dirty immediately. I hated when she tried to use sex to convince me. She lifts her hand and I flinch out of reflex before taking a shaky breath as she rests the hand on my cheek. Her thumb stroking my cheek where a bruise was. It hurt. It hurt so bad.

“You don’t understand Nyma!” I say as I step away from her. When would she understand? Did I really need to spell it out to her that I wanted things that were normal in other people’s relationships? Like dates and being able to be affectionate in public without feeling like she was going to hit me for kissing her.  “I don’t want sex constantly. I want to do other things with you.”

I knew it was going to happen the minute I had stepped away from her touching me. I close my eyes as I feel her hand connect with my jaw before she punches me in the stomach. I drop to me knees shaking. That was another two bruises I was going to have to deal with later.

“I want to know why you think it’s acceptable to talk to your girlfriend like this, especially when you claim that you love her so much.” She crouches next to me, using her hand to lift my chin up so she could look me in the eye as she talks. I hate this and I push her hand away from my chin so I could sit up better.

“And I want to know why you constantly hit me around! This is why I don’t believe you know what it means to be loved. This is why I don’t think you love me Nyma!” I snap at her and I wince as she forces me to my feet and pushes me up against the door, bending my arm behind my back. I cry out in pain and then I hear the crack of my wrist. I scream in agony and she pushes me back to the floor.

“Get out.” She snarls at me and I managed to pull myself up with my unbroken hand using the bed. My wrist killed but I was determined not to cry in front of her. It only made her worse.

“What?”

“Get out and come back when you’re ready to discuss this calmly. You will not talk to me like I am nothing but shit on your shoe in my own house.” She snarls as she steps towards me, anger burning clearly in her eyes. I had well and truly pissed her off by trying this with her.

 _I shouldn’t have_ _said anything._

“When you want to discuss this calmly you can come back baby, and if you don’t come back I’ll tell the police you raped me. You know I can make it believable” I nod but I don’t say anything. I just leave hurriedly. I didn’t need any more injuries to add to the already costly hospital bill.

“Nyma put you back in your place I see. You can’t even fight back against a naked chick.” Rolo chuckles at me as I hurry past him. I feel myself shaking with annoyance but I know that if I could fight against Nyma, I definitely couldn’t fight back against Rolo. Even before Nyma had broken my wrist I couldn’t.

No, instead of fighting back and arguing with Rolo; I flee. I flee into the cold night air in the direction of a hospital. Nyma’s threat hanging over me like anvil over a cartoon character.

_This was definitely going to come back to bite me in the ass._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is officially the longest of this fic. I am so proud of it and it made me really emotional.
> 
> Nyma is really fun to write as evil as she is. 
> 
> Some lines of their argument are good advice to live by as well. Especially "I don't belong to anyone but me." Remember that please :)
> 
> Songs for this chapter:  
> Vanity by Lacey Sturm  
> Rot by Lacey Sturm  
> Some of the lines of Lance and Nyma's argument are taking from these songs. They are perfect for this.


	11. All In - Katie

“Do you even know where we are Keith?” I say as we pull into a rest stop so we could all use the bathroom. Although only Shiro had expressed the fact he needed to piss. Matt wanted us to all stretch our legs once we stopped though to avoid us getting cranky from being cramped in Keith’s car for too long. It happened the last time we had gone on a road trip after all. That and I think Matt was still in dad mode.

“Yeah I do. We’re halfway to Jersey and in the middle of fuck knows where.” He responds as he shuts off the car’s engine. There was a very slight smile on the black-haired males face but he seems distracted still. Like something was still bothering him.

“Language Keith.” Shiro warns as he climbs out of the car and heads in the direction of the rest stop. Matt and Keith laugh at Shiro’s warning and I watch as Matt shifts over into the middle of the backseat so we can both see him. He looked amused by Shiro warning Keith for language as he did every time, mainly because it never stopped Keith from swearing. The boy swore like a sailor when it was just the four of us, but never in front of our parents or kids. It was quite sweet actually.

“I have something to tell you both.” Matt’s tone of voice earns him a concerned look off Keith and a curious one off me. He sounded nervous. Matt was never nervous around us. He had the most self-confidence out of any of us, so to hear him sound nervous worried me slightly.

“Is it that that’s not really Shiro? It’s a government clone to throw us off the scent of the alien programme at Area 51?” I say seriously and I see Matt pinch the bridge of his nose while Keith laughs at my speculation. I wanted to lighten up the mood in the car. Everyone seemed so tense, and when we were going to Jersey for a vacation; it didn’t seem right for everyone to be so serious.

“You know that’s the real Shiro Pidge.” He says, but I hear the joking tone underneath his serious words. There was nothing like a good conspiracy theory to loosen up the two males in the car. “No, I met someone… She’s lovely. I don’t want the pair of you to meet her just yet, but I thought I should tell you both now because it feels like it’s going to get serious soon.” He says, finally getting to tell us what he wanted to tell us. Keith seems to nod at Matt’s words, both of us understanding why Matt is explaining it in this way.

We all knew that when there was a chance that we were going to have to introduce Keith to new people we had to either give him a significant amount of time to prepare or throw him in the deep end. It was one of the first things Shiro had told us about Keith when we had first met all those years ago, and we had just accepted it as part of Keith. As a result, I preferred to throw him in at the deep end, Matt and Shiro liked to give him time to prepare. Which is exactly why we had waited for two weeks after Shiro’s return to go to Jersey.

“Wait, so you’re not dating Shiro?” I start, mock confusion on my face. Keith sniggers as he looks and I know why. We had both had to endure the talks from both Matt and Shiro where they both declared the other one was the best person ever. Sometimes they were drunk, sometimes they were sober, but no matter what it was always equal parts amusing and mushy. “Well, looks like I owe mum ten bucks.” I say offhandedly and that sends Keith into full blown laughter. Looks like he had entirely forgotten about the bet our mum and I had made after the third time we had been made to endure the talk off Matt. Mum hadn’t thought they would end up dating, it would be with a heavy heart that I would tell her she was in fact right.

“You bet on whether I was going to date Shiro?” Matt sounds so offended and it only makes me laugh, and Keith laugh harder. It probably annoys Matt slightly having us both laugh at his pain but honestly, I think Keith needed a good laugh. He had been too tense lately and if this helped him relax, I know Matt would forgive me eventually.

“Yep.”

“I hate this family.” Matt says it with a smile as he gets out the car to go into the shop. Leaving Keith and me alone together. I watch as the black-haired boy next to me leans back in his seat and lets out a sigh. He had been sighing a lot more lately. I didn’t know what had gotten into him. I thought he would be happier now that Shiro was back, but when his elder brother had been talking Keith seemed to tense up and avoid eye contact with anyone. It was alarming to say the least.

“Keith?” I ask tentatively as I follow his gaze to look out at our surroundings. We truly were in the middle of fuck knows where. There was nothing recognisable and we had been driving for so long. And we were only halfway there! It felt like we had been driving forever already so I can’t imagine what the rest of the journey would be like on Keith if he was still this tense while driving. I just needed to figure out why he was so tense first.

“Yeah?” He opens his car door to get some fresh air in the car and his eyes dart across to me. His voice seems normal but I know Keith. And I know how good he is at hiding his true emotions. Shiro says it’s from being in an orphanage all those years and having to hide it from the kids that picked on him. But Shiro seems to have been unaffected by the orphanage and will talk about his time there, whereas Keith won’t. His time there is a subject he won’t talk about to anyone but Shiro, and only Shiro sees how Keith really feels. Leaving Matt and me stumbling along trying to guess how Keith really feels.

“You okay? You seem really tense.”

“I’m fine Katie.”

“You sure?” My question is met with silence, and I don’t push for an answer. Keith would respond when he was ready. Instead I reach down into the foot well of my seat and pick up one of the cans we had gotten earlier. They weren’t cold anymore but I didn’t mind.

“No.” I don’t know how long has passed before Keith finally answers but it wasn’t long enough for Shiro or Matt to return. So, it couldn’t have been that long. I frown slightly at his broken voice and I look over at him. His hands are resting on his lap and he’s no longer looking out the window.

“What’s wrong?” I ask softly before grabbing a can to pass Keith it. He takes it gratefully and takes a big sip before he looks at me.

“What if Shiro prefers them to us?” The tone in which he says it makes me think that this has constantly weighed on his mind since Shiro came back. And I have to admit the thought had crossed my own mind several times. Shiro kept telling us about how these people had helped him and how they were wonderful. I was glad he was happy but it felt weird knowing how these people had comforted Shiro. Especially when I still thought that we should be the ones comforting him.

“I don’t think that will happen Keith.” I try to keep the doubt out of my voice but I could see why Keith was worried about that. There was the chance that because they had given Shiro better support than we had that he did prefer them. But hopefully Shiro still preferred his family to these strangers from Jersey.

“You have to have seen it too Katie. He smiles when he talks about Allura, he laughs when he talks about Hunk and his eyes sparkle when he talks about Lance. He looks so happy talking about them… he doesn’t do that when he talks to me about you, or about Matt…” I watch him squeeze the can in his hand as he talks and I frown a little. Keith sounds exhausted and upset, like this had weighed on his mind for too long.

“Keith, Shiro isn’t going to leave us for them.” I had no clue what to say to the black-haired boy so I gave him the standard answer. The answer that I so desperately wanted to believe myself, but I hadn’t noticed the things that Keith had noticed. I hadn’t noticed the way Shiro’s facial expressions shifted as he talked about them, but Keith had. Keith had noticed and it had made him doubt his brother’s love for him.

“You don’t sound too sure of that. We should be the ones comforting him Katie… not some strangers.” He picked up on my doubt. Keith may be brilliant at hiding his own emotions, and it may annoy all three of us at times but Keith just seemed to know how other people were feeling at any given time. “We’re his family. Not them.” He adds as he looks at me before knocking back the last of his drink. He chucks the can out his window and watches as it lands neatly in the bin.

“Families get bigger remember Keith?” I repeat something I remember Shiro telling him when he was first introduced to Matt and me. He had complained so much because he thought Matt was trying to steal Shiro from him. And he had kept complaining until Shiro had told him that sometimes families get bigger, then he had come to terms with hanging out with Matt and me.

“I guess.” Keith doesn’t sound entirely convinced but he sounds less upset about the situation. So, I guess I was making progress? It really was hard to tell with him.

“Look at it this way Keith, have any of Shiro’s stories about them alarmed you?” I ask, deciding to try a different tactic. I sip my drink as I wait for an answer off him. Once I had finished the can I passed it to Keith and watched him throw that one in the bin without getting up as well.

“Not really…” He finally responds a few moments later and I smile a little. I had been hoping for that answer.

“Then we wait till we meet them. I don’t like the fact he found comfort in strangers either but we have to just accept that it happened.” I say and I see Keith falter a bit. Matt had made me realise that. What had happened had happened. We didn’t get the chance to go back and change how we all initially reacted to Shiro using his arm. We just had to move on. We had to live for now and not for the past. “It sucks but we have to move on from that. We have to try to be the best we can for Shiro now that he’s back.” I add and I see the black-haired boy smile at me.

“I’ll wait till I meet them before I make a decision about them. Thanks Katie.” I smile as Keith thanks me. The conversation had made me realise that Keith just needed to talk to someone about his doubts. That while he felt like Shiro would leave us part of him knew that he wouldn’t. he just needed to be reminded of that fact. I was glad I was the one to remind him of that.

“Besides, if we don’t go you won’t get your cheesecake.” I say teasingly and I laugh when Keith groans. Yes, I was glad that I had made Keith realise that his doubts were just the product of him over worrying. But I was always at my happiest when teasing Keith, Matt or Shiro, and as a result I generally seemed to ruin moments of clarity with my teasing. Not that I minded, someone had to tease the three of them after all.

“I wish Matt had never told you about the cheesecake bribe now.” He mutters under his breath as he spies Matt and Shiro heading back to the car. Matt’s arms were filled with a bunch of snacks and Shiro looked like he was giving a dad lecture about the amount of sweets my brother had bought.

Hopefully, once we got to Jersey things could start going back to normal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have a chapter that feels like a filler chapter but isn't? I love the Keith/Pidge platonic relationship in this. It's beautiful.
> 
>  
> 
> Song for the chapter:  
> All In - The Summer Set


	12. Blue Dhalia - Lance

_I shouldn’t have tried to break up with her._

It had been my waking thought every day for the past two weeks. I wouldn’t have my arm wrapped in the blue cast because she had broken my wrist if I hadn’t tried to break up with her. My arm wouldn’t be wrapped in a colour she hated if I hadn’t tried to leave. My body wouldn’t be littered in bruises from going back and having to grovel for forgiveness so she wouldn’t file a false police report against me. My body wouldn’t ache from the rough sex she and Rolo had made me partake in.

_I shouldn’t have tried to break up with her._

I slowly pull myself upright and look round my small apartment. I had fallen asleep on the couch watching TV last night again. I hadn’t gone to work at the diner for the past two weeks. I had needed time to recharge after Shiro had left and neither Allura or Hunk had questioned it when I had put my holiday form in. I was thankful they hadn’t questioned it. I had been way too emotional when I had text the pair of them, and I was glad neither of them had come round to check I was okay. I honestly didn’t know how I was going to explain my broken wrist to them. I didn’t even know if I would have to explain it to them. They would assume it was Nyma and they would be right to assume it was her. I didn’t want to tell them they were right though. Telling them meant owing up to the fact she was blackmailing me to keep me by her side.

_I could deal with this myself._

I pull myself off the couch and slowly walk over to the kitchen. I needed some coffee otherwise I was going to feel like death all day, and when I was going back to work at the diner today; I didn’t need to feel like death. I had to have a shower before I could finally to work and I had to figure out how to avoid getting the cast wet. I had run out of plastic wrap during my last shower and due to going to Nyma’s yesterday morning I had forgotten to get anymore. I could always just shower with my arm stuck out the stall I guess. It wasn’t ideal but it was the best idea I currently had. Not to mention it was the only idea I had.

I shake my head the more I think about and I pour the hot water into my usual cup once it’s boiled. I stir the cup idly and blink as my phone buzzed on the countertop. I take a sip of my coffee before I pick it up, half expecting it to by Nyma demanding something from me and instead am surprised to see that I had two new messages. One from Nyma telling me she loved me, and the other from Shiro telling me he was bringing his friends to the diner. _Today._ I nearly spit coffee out of my mouth at that. Shiro was bringing his friends to the diner today?

_Oh fuck. I definitely needed a shower then._

I down the rest of my coffee, not caring about it burning the rest of my throat as I think about the stories he had told us about his friends during his time here. All three of them sounded interesting and I could only hope that they would think we were interesting. I grab a plastic carrier bag from my kitchen’s drawer and wrap it hurriedly around the cast before taping it into place. That would do, right? I hope so anyway. I type a quick one handed text to Shiro telling him I was excited to meet everyone that he had told me about before opening Nyma’s message and telling her I loved her too. I don’t have time to linger on the consequences of that as I hurriedly walk to the shower. I needed the shower now if I wanted any chance of being presentable to Shiro’s friends.

Twenty minutes later I’m out the shower and dry, stood over my chest of drawers frowning. It had taken me longer than usual to shower due to the struggle that came with having a cast on, but I had managed it. But my next dilemma came with picking clothes that were comfortable both to work in, and to walk to the diner in, as well as being easy to put on. I settle for my usual outfit of a baggy shirt and jeans before slipping some shoes on. I check in the mirror for bruises and relax when I see that Nyma had avoided my face this time. That was one less job for me. I grab my jacket, keys and phone and head out. I had a long walk ahead of me.

~~~~*~~~~

It took me just under an hour to walk to the diner and I half jog to the kitchen, wincing at the slight pain in my hip as I do so. My shift wasn’t due to start for another half an hour when Allura got her so I was hoping I could get some food off Hunk in the kitchen before then. My stomach had rumbled several times during the walk and I knew I couldn’t wait much longer for food before I became useless.

Hunk looks over as he hears the kitchen door open and smiles when he sees me. A smile which lasts until he sees the cast on my arm. He looks ready to ask what happened before he shakes his head and crosses to the fridge.

“Afternoon Lance.” He says softly as he grabs some ingredients out of the fridge. “Hungry?” His voice is still soft and it confuses me. I was still expecting him to ask about the cast, not about whether I was hungry. I mean I was hungry and I wasn’t in a position to turn down food but I was so used to him and Allura fawning over every injury I got that this reaction baffled me.

“Yeah actually.” I say before sitting down on one of the chairs. “Are you not going to ask about the cast?” I ask, deciding to bring it up as I watch him make one of his triple decker cheese sandwiches for me. I adored these.

“I was but I figured you probably wouldn’t want to talk about it.” He says and I smile a little. Hunk was always so considerate towards me. “Was it her?” His voice lowers to a whisper and my smile fades almost immediately. I knew he would know it was her but I wasn’t expecting him to realise that so quickly. “Lance, why do you stay with a woman who keeps hurting you over and over?” My silence was apparently all Hunk needed to confirm that it was Nyma that had broken my wrist and I look at the sandwich he slides to me.

“It was my fault Hunk.”

“It’s always your fault Lance, have you realised that? You came in with a cut on your cheek a while back and told me it was your fault for not ducking in time. Not everything can be your fault even if she wants it to be. That’s not what a relationship is. She has to take responsibility for what she’s doing Lance.” Hunk doesn’t sound mad at me. In fact, he just sounds exasperated and I know why. We’ve had this same conversation multiple times over and over. I can understand why he doesn’t want to repeat a conversation that we will inevitable repeat three times over the next month.

_I know it’s not what a relationship is._

“Hunk…” I start only to get cut off by him holding up his finger to stop me. This was new. Normally I told him some lie that he knew was a lie and we moved on. But apparently, Hunk had more to say this time.

“No listen to me, it is not your fault that she hurts you. When she tells you that it is; she’s lying to you. I don’t know why she is I just hope that you eventually see what she’s doing and leave her Lance.” I bite my lip hearing the sad tone in his voice and I feel a pit of dread pool in my stomach. I had made my best friend this upset.

_I have seen what she’s doing. I just can’t leave her._

I wanted to scream it at the top of my lungs at Hunk. I wanted to break down and tell him that I knew what Nyma had done to me was wrong but I couldn’t. Even though I knew everything Nyma was doing was wrong and damaging; part of me still loved her. And now with her threat of blackmail hanging over my head I didn’t even know where to begin with telling Hunk, so instead I settle for staring down at my cheese sandwich.

“I know it’ll be hard to leave her Lance. I know you love her but if you don’t leave her soon; she’s going to end up killing you. I don’t want to hear that my best friend has died at the hands of the woman he loves.” He says and I feel tears fall slowly down my cheeks. I definitely couldn’t tell him now that I had tried to leave and I had gained the cast then. He would make me deal with the blackmail situation. I wasn’t ready to deal with that just yet. Instead I close my eyes in an effort to stop myself from crying. An attempt that Hunk clearly sees because he comes over and wraps his arms gently around me. “I didn’t mean to make you cry. I just care about you a lot buddy and I want you to be safe.” He says as he holds me. I slowly calm down in his hold and eventually I lift my head up which makes Hunk step back. He slides the cheese sandwich back to me before going back to his task.

“Thanks for caring about me. I know I don’t make it easy.” I say with a shaky laugh before taking a hearty bite out of the sandwich. Damn that was good. Hunk smiles as I talk and he carries on making himself a sandwich.

“You really don’t Lance.” He says with a soft laugh. I can’t help but smile as he looks at me briefly, leaving me wondering how I got so lucky and ended up with a best friend like Hunk. He had gone through everything with me and it would have been so easy for him to just dump me as a friend when it had been clear I wasn’t going to leave Nyma despite his pleas. Yet, he stayed by my side, occasionally telling me I should leave her, but now adding that I should leave her when I was ready to. I was so lucky to have Hunk in my life.

~~~~*~~~~

It was the lull after the evening rush before I heard anything back from Shiro. Allura and I had just served so many people with young kids and we had both flopped into our usual both exhausted. People with young kids always seemed to be the hardest to serve, mainly because the kids would change their order several times. But seeing their faces light up when they got their food was worthwhile.

Allura nudges me as my phone beeps and I bat her arm away gently with the cast. She hadn’t questioned it at all. She had just grabbed a thick marker and wrote her name on it in her elegant handwriting. She had made Hunk sign it almost immediately after. I wanted Shiro and his friends to sign it as well. Maybe then it would be more bearable to look at.

“Your phone beeped Lance.” She says after I’ve batted her arm away. I groan overdramatically but sit up so I can grab my phone and see who had texted me. I smile seeing it was off Shiro and out the corner of my eye I see Allura raise a thin delicate eyebrow at my reaction. I lift my head and I see Hunk and her exchanging glances. “Who texted you Lance?”

 “It was Shiro. He’s brought his friends down to see us. Apparently, whoever’s driving went down the wrong street but they’ll be here in like ten minutes.” I say softly before typing out a reply so he knew that I had gotten his message. I notice Allura’s hand immediately fly up to her plait that was draped over her shoulder as I mention Shiro and I laugh slightly. I had forgotten my sister had a huge crush on Shiro because he was just so damn nice.

It was nice seeing Allura so interested in a guy though. She hadn’t been interested in a while due to a series of bad dates. Hunk and I had told her she just had to get through all the shit dates first, but she hadn’t seemed entirely convinced.

“Your plait looks fine ‘Lura.” Hunk says as Allura looks to him for confirmation that she looked decent. She generally trusted Hunk’s opinion on whether she looked fine over mine. I was her brother; I had to say that she looked pretty. “How long are they staying for? And where are they staying?” He asks as he turns his attention to me.

 “He didn’t say.” I respond as I put my phone onto the table. I didn’t think Shiro would text me again, but I didn’t want to miss it if he did text me again. “We can always ask him when he gets here. I don’t think I can have all four of them at mine though.” I admit and I fiddle idly with a strand that was hanging off my cast.

“We could all stay at mine.” Allura’s voice is soft. “I have enough floor space that we could all sleep on the floor if we bring the blankets and pillows from your places.” She suggests and I see Hunk nod eagerly. It would be nice to stay at Allura’s. I hadn’t stayed in ages and at least I knew her flat’s layout and where things were.

“Sounds good; it’ll be cheaper for them too.” I say and both my sister and best friend look relieved that I’ve agreed to stay at Allura’s. Besides sleepovers were always fun, and they were a great way to get to know people.

True to Shiro’s text it was ten minutes before they arrived and when they did I didn’t even notice. I got up to go show them to a table because Allura had left to go to the bathroom, leaving me to deal with the three customers we had in the diner.

“Welcome to Sunrise Diner. How many for a table?” I ask as I awkwardly hold the pad in my casted hand. It was difficult yes but I was just going to move on with my life. At least I could still write, just meant I had to be careful. I look up at the group of people in front of me, not recognising any of the three in front of me before I hear the door go again and I see him. “Shiro?” I call out and I smile when the elder man turns to look at me.

“Ah, hello Lance.” His voice is soft and I notice how he smiles when he sees me. He looks so bright and happy to be here again. Which means these three must be his friends that I had heard so much about. The slender guy in the red jacket seems annoyed at how Shiro greeted me and I make a note that while Shiro wanted them to see the diner, they might not have wanted to come along. I don’t know if I would want to if Hunk or Allura had left and made new friends without me.

 “Want to take your friends to the usual booth? Hunk is sat there, so I’ll take your orders over there.” I say as I shove the pad back into the pouch of my apron and look over to the bathroom. Allura hadn’t come out yet, I hope she was okay. I didn’t really want to meet these new people without her, especially when it was clear to me that they didn’t necessarily want to be here. I head over to the booth a few minutes later, deciding not to check on Allura. She would be fine. She was probably just touching up her makeup now that she knew Shiro was on his way.

When I get to the booth a few minutes later I notice one of the gingers was talking rather excitedly to Hunk. She seemed hyped up over something they were discussing. The boy with the red jacket sat next to her was sat watching, but seemed confused over their rapid conversation. Shiro was next to him with the other ginger perched on the edge of the booth, quietly talking to one another while huddled over the menu. I grab two menus from the next table before slipping into the booth next to Hunk.

“What’s with the cast Lance?” Shiro asks as he sees me sit down. The ginger next to him seems to regard me with something akin to pity when he sees me. It makes me wonder just how much Shiro had told his friends about me and whether Shiro himself knew about Nyma. That thought itself is worrying. Shiro wouldn’t tell his friends about that if he had noticed what Nyma did to me, would he?

“Got my arm trapped in a drawer, I just broke my wrist. I’ll be fine soon.” I say softly. If Shiro knew about Nyma he said nothing, and his facial expression gave nothing away either. The ginger male sat next to him however, did not look convinced at my explanation. “So, who’s who Shiro?” I ask trying to move onto a different topic as soon as possible. I needed the male opposite me to stop giving me that look of pity. He didn’t know I was lying.

“Yeah, why don’t you introduce your friends to us Shiro?” I blink hearing Allura’s voice as she slides next to me, sandwiching me in between her and Hunk, not that I minded. I see the way Shiro’s eyes brighten as he sees my sister and for a second I feel jealous. I wanted Nyma to look at me like that. I wanted someone to love me as unconditionally as that, but I really didn’t think I was going to get that. the jealous feeling passes almost instantly when I notice the way the ginger female and the boy with the red-jacket look at my sister. They seemed annoyed and honestly, while I understood why they would be annoyed, it also made me angry that they were annoyed. They didn’t know Hunk, my sister or me and they were already assuming we were horrible.

“Well, this is Matt and Katie Holt and Keith Kogane.” Shiro says and I smile slightly, being able to put names to faces from the stories Shiro had told us. Keith was the almost astronaut who adored space. Katie had built a robot with the sole purpose of fucking with her brother. Matt had been the college roommate that most people would kill for, and occasionally he had been the roommate most people would kill. It was nice being able to know who each of them was.

“It’s nice to meet you all. I’m Allura and this is my little brother Lance.” Allura says it politely and I see Matt nod slightly at her name before he jabs Shiro in the ribs playfully. Clearly, they already had an inside joke regarding the rather obvious crush both Allura and Shiro seemed to have on each other. I wonder how many times Matt had heard Shiro talk about her. On the other hand, Keith and Katie don’t seem too impressed by the mention of mine or Allura’s name. “That ray of sunshine there is Hunk. I’m sure we’ll all get along great.” She adds and I see Matt smile a little.

To them all it looked like Allura was trying to get along with them. Like she was making an effort to be nice. But I knew that this was Allura being passive aggressive. She had noticed Keith and Katie’s stares of annoyance and this was her getting them back for it, while still appearing polite to both Matt and Shiro. Allura had mastered the art of being passive aggressive and to this day considered it one of her greatest skills. I found it hilarious.

“I’m sure we will.” Shiro says softly and I feel my heart sink a little. I really hope we did, otherwise this visit was going to be an extremely tense one. It couldn’t be that bad, could it?

_They couldn’t just hate us because Shiro happened to become friends with us, could they?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And things are getting tense.
> 
> Song for the chapter:  
> Blue Dhalia by The Gaslight Anthem


	13. Count On Me - Matt

Being in Jersey still felt surreal. We had been here a few days now and Shiro had settled back in with his friends almost immediately. It was nice seeing Shiro settle so immediately with new people. Especially when those people were so warm and welcoming. Allura had let us all sleep on her apartments floor and while it gave it a slumber party feel, it didn’t mean all of us seemed to be enjoying it.

Keith, as much as I knew he was trying his hardest to get along with the friends his brother had made; he was struggling. I knew from discussions with Shiro over the years that Keith struggled a lot with making friends, but I had never seen him try. He had struggled with Pidge and me yes, but that was different to seeing him try with Hunk, Allura and Lance. It was like I was more aware of how awkward he was now that I wasn’t trying to make friends with him.

Plaxum had warned me that this would probably be very hard on Keith but had also said that due to his attachment with Shiro; he probably wouldn’t give up. He would be determined to prove that he can make friends with the other people in Shiro’s laugh. It had made me sad hearing it explained like that but I had come to trust Plaxum’s judgement on many things. Except for her judgement on cookies. Chocolate chip were the best, not raisin cookies.

Pidge on the other hand, had been a lot more difficult that Keith had. She had immediately picked up her friendship with Hunk when they had met again due to her knowing him from college. It had helped Keith bond with Hunk and I think the majority of Keith’s problems with the trio had come from not knowing if he could trust them. As Shiro generally saw the best in people it was hard to know if there was any malicious intent when he talked about them. So, to see Pidge trust Hunk immediately had helped erase that doubt within him. But as she wouldn’t do the same with Allura and Lance, Keith’s doubts about their true intentions stayed.

I didn’t get why she didn’t extend the same courtesy with Allura and Lance that she did with Hunk. From all the tales, she had told me about Hunk he wouldn’t be friends with people that were purposefully mean. He was too kind to get mixed up with people like that. If I was honest, the whole situation was a little baffling, but then again Plaxum had warned me of that.

‘ _Most of the times when people are insecure, they do things that we don’t always comprehend_ ’ was what she had said and it had stuck with me. I was sure that Shiro wasn’t going to leave us in favour of new friends, I knew Shiro would never do that. Pidge obviously doubted the fact that Shiro wouldn’t leave but for Keith who has been abandoned time and time again by people that love him; that fear it is a little more prevalent. Their actions made some sense, but I wished it wasn’t so painfully obvious.

I had seen the way that Allura had deflated after trying to tell my sister about an article on robotics she had seen. Only to be met with Pidge ignoring her. I had seen the way Pidge would watch Lance like a hawk whenever he was near Shiro. I had seen the way Keith would suddenly just cut himself out of a conversation and withdraw whenever any of them started talking for fear of saying something that would embarrass himself, or something that would embarrass Shiro. I had seen how Lance had reacted to Keith just trailing off mid-sentence, how broken hearted the boy had looked. I had told all three of them in private that that’s just how Keith and Pidge were, and I think they were getting sick of it. I knew Keith was trying, but Pidge wasn’t.

I knew my sister too well and I knew she wasn’t trying to become friends with these people. She didn’t want to. She spent most of her time sketching out plans in a notebook or typing on a tablet and making noises that she reserved for when experiments failed. When she wasn’t doing that, she was tinkering around with objects in her bag. I had no clue what she was doing and if I was honest, that stung more. Every project Pidge had taken on she had discussed it with me first. It had become out little ritual for every project and I was missing it.

I look over as I see Pidge come out of the bathroom and sit up a bit more. It was still early morning and she was rubbing at her eyes like she hadn’t gotten any sleep last night. I fumble for my glasses just so I could check that it was Pidge and I sigh. She had gone to bed first last night and had curled in the corner with headphones on. But as I look at her now it becomes painfully clear that my sister hadn’t slept at all.

“Pidge.” I say and I see her jump as I call her nickname. My voice still sounds like I’m in dad mode from Shiro being gone but that was okay. At the minute, I wasn’t goofy fun big brother Matt, I was concerned big brother Matt. “Come here please.” I add when she doesn’t move from the spot she had frozen herself in. She seems reluctant at my words but she eventually walks over and sits gently on the mess of the quilt I was still sat under. I didn’t like to get up until I had had caffeine. Plaxum had taken to bringing me some if she got up earlier than me when she stayed over, but while we had been here I hadn’t needed it. I had just been so excited to get up and do stuff as a group.

“Yeah Matt?” Her voice is quiet, like she expects to be scolded for her attitude towards Allura and Lance. I was going to do that at first, but I would much rather find out why she was acting this way towards them. She wasn’t acting like the sister I knew and I would prefer to know why she wasn’t.

“What’s wrong? You went to bed early and then didn’t sleep.” I ask softly and I see her sheepish look. She had only just gotten out of her habit of passing out in her lab at Kerberos. We hadn’t gotten Keith out of it yet, but he was adjusting to Shiro coming back still.

“You noticed that huh?” She replies and I give her a knowing look. I noticed when my little sister wasn’t treating herself right or getting treat right. It set off my big brother senses and I knew that while Pidge always expressed that she hated it, she secretly loved it. “It just feels weird being here Matt.” She explains and she leans back against the wall behind her. I give her a closer look at that. That was a very simplistic answer for someone as smart as Pidge.

“What do you mean?”

“Being here with people that Shiro met and trusted instantly. It feels weird.” She shifts slightly and I put my arm around her shoulder. That made more sense than just being told that it felt weird being here. “I don’t know, I guess I just feel like we should have been the ones that comforted him, not them.” She adds as she leans further against me, her hair tickling my arm slightly. Hearing that makes her behaviour make a lot more sense. Pidge tended to retreat into her work when she couldn’t control the situation she was in, or couldn’t make sense of the situation. She would never ask for help though and that was what made trying to console her that much harder.

“I know Katie cat. I do to. But what’s past is past. We can’t undo the decisions that caused Shiro to leave as much as we want to. We just have to deal with the consequences and live for now.” I say softly to her as I play with her long hair idly. I remember how our mum had reacted when she had cut it short because it got in the way and how she had told our mum that hair would grow back. I think in the end the only thing she regretted was the fact I could no longer plait and braid it like I used to.

“I know, I guess I’m just a little salty about it.” I supress a laugh at that.

“Katie…” She looks up as I use her full name and I give her a small smile as I see how confused she looks. “You and I both know you are one hundred percent pure salt.” She can’t help but laugh at my accurate statement. But lucky for the pair of us; no one else wakes up.

 “Why do you always know what to say Matt?” Her voice breaks the silence that lingers for a good few minutes after her laugh. At first I wasn’t sure how to answer that question. A lot of my knowledge on matters came from years of mistakes and bad decisions that Shiro had tried to talk me out of. I didn’t know when I had become so good at giving advice and it wasn’t something that our parents were particularly were good at either.

“I don’t know, I’m dating a psychologist though so, that might have something to do with it though.” I eventually say. I honestly didn’t know but my advice seems to have gotten better since I had met Plaxum. My life seemed to have gotten better too since meeting her. Maybe she was a good luck charm for me?

“Do mum and dad know about her?” My sister’s voice is soft as she asks the question I hadn’t even thought about yet. I had been so wrapped up with the happiness that came with dating Plaxum and the worry of being the dad friend that I hadn’t even considered telling our parents.

“No, I haven’t told them yet, I don’t really want to have that family dinner. You know the one where they embarrass me with stories about how I nearly blew up the microwave after Shiro left for a week.” I eventually lie, deciding that reminding her of the great microwave incident would get us off this topic quicker than telling her I forgot would.

“Yeah because he’s like ninety-five percent of your impulse control.” She snorts and when I pout she just laughs more. I knew it was true, but that doesn’t mean she needed to bring it up at every possible moment. “But yeah, I see your point. I wouldn’t want that to happen to me.” She adds once she has stopped laughing at my misery.

“What have you been working on?” I ask after a few minutes of comfortable silence passes. I had been staring at Keith’s curled up form next to Shiro. He had refused to sleep far away from his brother when we had first organised the quilts. It had earned him some odd looks from the others but even then; he hadn’t backed down. I knew he had to feel safer curled next to Shiro, especially after he had been gone so long.

“It’s stupid really.” Pidge doesn’t look up at me as she talks, she just completely dismisses her work and fiddles with the hem of her shirt. It was clearly something she had wanted to keep a secret. She only fiddled with clothes when she was trying to keep a secret.

“Pidge. No project is a stupid one remember.” I say softly, already regretting several projects that instantly come to mind. No project was a stupid one. Except for the ones were you nearly create chlorine gas and kill yourself. Then those were stupid projects.

“Okay, but you can’t tell Shiro.” She says as she looks up at me, as though waiting for confirmation that I won’t tell Shiro. I nod and I see her instantly relax before she looks down. “I’m trying to make an arm for him.” She mumbles it and it makes me wonder whether it’s progressing how she wants it to progress.

“To replace the missing one?”

“No, for him to stick on his forehead. Of course, for the missing one.”

“How’s it going my sarcastic pigeon?” I ask, amused by her immediate sarcastic response. I knew making jokes helped her loosen up and I really was curious as to how the project was going. It wasn’t something I think Shiro had even considered. He had just adapted to having one working arm instead.

“Not well. Hunk helped me with the materials to keep it durable and light but…” Her voice trails off and I have a feeling I knew where this was going. She had hit a dead wall with it. Pidge was great with wires and robotics, she always had been. But when it had come down to biology, she had struggled a great deal with the human nervous and muscle systems.

“But?”

“I’m good with electronics and wires. Not with human biology.” Bingo. I had been right.

“Lance is a trained nurse Pidge. He went back to do physiotherapy, and my degree is primarily based in biochemistry, we can help you with that side if you and Hunk build it.” I offer as I think about it a bit more. Lance was more likely to know how the human body worked after all. That and maybe it could be a bonding activity between the pair.

“You would do that?” Pidge seems shocked at my suggestion, something I don’t understand. Over the years, I had done so many stupid experiments for Shiro because he asked, even if I knew they would fail, just because he wanted to see how it reacted. But with this project it was because I wanted to see if between the four of us we could build a functioning arm.

“Of course, I would.” I say softly before ruffling her hair as I stand up. I could no longer ignore my need for coffee. “You just have to actually make an effort to talk with Lance and Allura in return for me.” I bribe as I start to walk towards the kitchen, my legs aching from being sat down for too long.

“There’s always a catch.” She pouts as she talks and it makes me descend into a fit of laughter as I walk towards the kitchen. My sister was happier again and had promised to try harder with the others, so honestly; I didn’t care if I woke anyone up because of that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay for Holt sibling bonding.
> 
> Song for the chapter:  
> Count On Me by Bruno Mars


	14. Different People - Allura

Things had been slightly strange since Shiro had come back. His friends were a little odd to say the least, and occasionally they shared an inside joke with one another which made Shiro laugh so hard that his entire face softened. I could tell he loved the three of them very much, even if the younger two were being extremely rude to Lance and myself.

I hadn’t missed the stares and the glares my brother and I got when Keith and Katie were talking together. Both Matt and Shiro had apologised for their younger sibling’s behaviour with the promise of talking to both of them to figure out their problem, if any, was with Lance and me. I didn’t mind the glares, I was more worried about what it would do to my brother’s self-confidence.

It had been something I had confided in Matt because he seemed to know that Lance had been lying about his cast. He had confessed to knowing one of Lance’s classmates and said he felt bad knowing what Lance was going through with _her_. I hadn’t expected him to be so easy to talk to. And I definitely hadn’t expected him to notice the crush I had on Shiro. I had thought that I had kept that hidden rather well considering no one had mentioned it. He had given me advice for how to cope with Keith in relation to wanting to date Shiro and while I hadn’t tried it out yet, I was hopeful that it would work.

So, I had taken them back to the space exhibit at the museum. I had remembered Shiro saying that Keith would like it and I had enjoyed listening to Shiro teach me about the stars. Hopefully it would help me prove to Keith that I cared for his brother, but also that I cared for the black-haired male. He had seemed so shocked when Hunk had laughed at one of his jokes before and it made me wonder whether he had received any positive attention while he was growing up. I really hoped for his sake that the answer to that was yes.

The minute we had entered the museum Keith had seemed to shift closer towards Shiro. He had seemed tense the minute that we had entered the museum. Shiro had mentioned that the black-haired male seemed to have some form of anxiety around crowds, but that it may have come from his childhood. It was something Matt had mentioned as well and as such I had decided to take them during a time where there was less people in the museum. I figured if Keith was less stressed about the amount of people around the three of us he would open up to me more. At least I hoped it would work that way.

I’m walking a little bit behind Keith and Shiro. Just watching the way that Shiro put his good arm around the younger boy to pull him closer at any sign of Keith’s distress. It was a very brotherly act and I had seen Hunk and Lance do it towards each other numerous times. If I didn’t know them, I would think that Keith and Shiro were on a date. Even though I know that’s not the case; I can’t help but feel jealous of Keith.

I had wanted to go on a date with Shiro yes, but I also wanted his friends to get to know us. Even if we were going to be a small detail of Shiro’s life I felt it was important that they got to know us, and Matt was the only one trying. The girl, Katie, seemed more interested in talking to Hunk and Lance than me which was fine; I was glad a nicer girl had shown an interest in my brother. Even if she did glare at me the entire time. Keith hadn’t seemed to be trying but from what I had been told just him being here was a monumental step for him, so I didn’t want to force a friendship with him.

_I could do this._

I smile slightly and brush my loose hair over my shoulder as I walk over to them. Keith was admiring some of the photos astronauts had taken and he looked lost in his own little world. He looked so small next to Shiro. He had muscles, but something about the way he held himself made him appear smaller. He held himself the way Lance did after a beating off _her_. He was deliberately trying to appear smaller. Whether that was because of the social anxiety or because he was in a similar situation I had no idea. But I prayed it wasn’t the latter of the two.

I look at Shiro over the top of Keith’s head and nod when he mouths he needed to go to the bathroom. He leans down to whisper something to Keith who nods before turning his attention back to the photographs. I watch the older male shrug a little before walking off. Maybe he had expected a different reaction?

“Shiro said you were nearly an astronaut.” I say as I sit on one of the benches near the photographs. The room was empty apart from the pair of us so I took the chance to talk to him. Maybe he would be different when he couldn’t see Katie glaring at me. I could only hope.

“Yeah I was.” His voice is soft and thoughtful, but his eye contact never breaks from the photographs. Even as he sits on the bench with me. I notice that once sat down he sits with extremely good posture, as though it’s been bred into him from the moment he first sat on a chair.

“Why didn’t you continue?” I ask after the silence passes. Keith’s grey eyes have travelled to a photo of the surface of Mars, and he seems to be pretending that he’s more interested in that then anything I was saying. However, I wasn’t sure whether he was pretending or not.

“It’s a dumb reason.”

“I don’t think it’ll be that dumb of a reason.” I say softly, trying to encourage the younger male to open up to me. I wanted him to talk but I needed to understand where the bright-eyed boy that Shiro had told me about had gone. He had told me Keith loved space and really wanted to go there. So, to see Keith dismiss his reasoning for not going as dumb made me concerned.

“I originally wanted to go to space because I wanted to be alone. But then I met Shiro and I started to realise that I didn’t want to leave him.” Keith drops his head as he starts to talk. He keeps his fingers moving the entire time, lacing and unlacing them together constantly. “He took me in when there was no one else and taught me about space. I didn’t want to be alone after that…” The black-haired boy refuses to look up as his voice trails off. The way his voice trails off is almost like he’s ashamed of what he had just told me, like being afraid to lose someone was a big secret that he had to keep to himself.

“That’s not a dumb reason Keith.” Keith looks up at me at that, he seems genuinely surprised that I wasn’t telling him he was dumb. I look out at the picture of Mars before turning back towards the boy next to me. “Humans are social creatures. We want to explore space to see what’s out there and possibly find aliens to talk to. Not wanting to join in with space exploration because you want to stay with someone you love isn’t a bad thing. It just means you’ve found your own little family and you don’t want to leave them. That’s perfectly fine. You should do what makes you feel comfortable, you should live your life for yourself and no one else.” I say softly, using words that I had said to Lance so many times. Sometimes, we needed someone else to tell us the obvious so that we could help ourselves move on and I think in this scenario; Keith needed that. He needed someone to tell him that no wanting to lose a loved one is normal and not something to be hidden deep within himself like a shameful secret.

“Thanks, Allura. That made me feel a bit better…” I look at him as he thanks me and I see the slight smile on his face. I had made him smile, and Shiro was right. It was like someone had flipped a switch. Keith’s smile made his entire face glow with happiness, his eyes lit up and he looked so at piece. It was amazing the difference that it made to him.

“I assume that’s why you’ve been reluctant to let us into your little family?” I ask as I look over and notice Shiro watching the two of us talk from a safe distance. Keith seems to fidget at the question and I notice that he starts to lace his fingers together again. Clearly that was a coping method for him when the questions got too difficult.

“I don’t know. I think part of me resents that Shiro let you all help him. He wouldn’t let me help him. He’s always been the one to help me and I just wanted to help him out this once.” He doesn’t sound bitter as he talks, if anything; he sounds sad. I could get why he felt saddened by the fact Shiro didn’t want help but there wasn’t much that Keith could do. Shiro had even seemed reluctant to let us help at times, because he wanted to be able to do it himself. And I think deep down, Keith knew that. It was just painful to digest. “But then he found you, and I heard so much about you all. Every sentence was about one of you and I felt so jealous.”

“I’m sorry Keith.” I don’t know what else to say when he tells me that. There wasn’t anything else I could say to that. What do you say to that? I briefly look in Shiro’s direction and I see the sad gaze he was looking at Keith with. I don’t think Shiro had contemplated just how much his excitement of meeting us had annoyed and upset Keith, and the others. But I could tell by his face that he was thinking about it now.

“It’s not your fault. Honestly, when I first heard him talk about how beautiful you were, I was sceptical. He’s had girls try to use him because of his money and I didn’t want you to be another one of them. But then I saw how you look at him. You look past all the scars, you laugh at his terrible jokes and you make him feel comfortable. I’m glad he met you. I just wished he had the balls to ask you out.” Keith’s words make me sad at first. How could people take advantage of Shiro just for his money? Shiro was so much more than someone who had started his own company. He was his own person with his own beliefs and morals and that was what had attracted me to him. Never the money; I couldn’t be less bothered about that. Shiro was so much more than his money and to hear that Keith wants him to ask me out made me glow with excitement. Maybe I wouldn’t have to ask Keith for his opinion on Shiro and I dating.

“What do you mean?”

“I’m sick of hearing about how much he wants to kiss you, and how he thinks your hair is like strands of silk, and how your freckles look like constellations in the night sky.” The minute Keith mentions my hair my hand reaches up to play with the loose strands. I know due to the fact Shiro was watching us he could hear us talking and as I glance over to him I see just how scarlet the older male was. That alone made me believe Keith but I wanted to see just how much he would tell me.

“He told you that?” I ask, never taking my eyes off Shiro. I wanted to see how he reacted.

“He told me it. He told Matt it. I think he told the cafeteria workers at work about you. He won’t shut up about you Allura.” Keith smiles more as he talks and I can’t help but laugh about it. Maybe I should just ask him out instead of waiting for Shiro to ask me.

“Well, maybe I should ask him out then.” I watch Keith at my question, I wanted to see if he had any objections to me doing as I wanted. If he truly didn’t object to it then I would go and ask Shiro. If he did object, then I would simply remain friends with Shiro.

“Allura if you did that I think you would break him.” He stands as he talks and I immediately follow his actions. “I’m going to look at the star charts in the next room. Come get me when you’re done.” He says softly and he leaves me standing in shock as he walks away. He never once looks back at me or at Shiro who was walking over to me.

I’m still in shock that Keith had been told so much about me that he knew Shiro had a crush on me. Matt had suspected Shiro had a crush on me, but he hadn’t known as much as Keith had just made out that he knew. It made me think that Keith was the one that Shiro trusted more with secrets but either way; I was just glad that Keith had approved of me asking Shiro out.

“Hey.” Shiro’s voice is soft and I look up as I hear it. I smile seeing the older male in front of me and I notice that his normally stormy grey eyes look peaceful. He looked relaxed and I wonder if that was what Keith had meant about Shiro being more comfortable. “Keith seemed happy to talk to you, what were you talking about?” He asks like he doesn’t already know what we were talking about.

“Your crush on me. It was quite sweet to hear about.” I say softly before blushing as Shiro gently brushes my hair out of my face. His hand felt soft on my face and I see him blush afterwards.

“I knew I would regret telling Keith about that.”

“Why? He just made it seem like you were nervous about telling me. That’s not that embarrassing.” I say and I blush more feeling his hand move away from my hair. It’s not like I had wanted him to stop but there was only so much hair he could push back before it was all where it should be. He seems to shift as he thinks about his words before a loud sigh escapes his lips.

“Because I am nervous and embarrassed about it Allura. I’ve never encountered anyone that I thought was as beautiful as you before. I didn’t know how to ask you out.” His voice is quiet and it sounds almost sad. Like he was sad he was having to confess he liked me because his little brother had told me. But in my opinion, that made this even sweeter.

“Asking me out to coffee would have worked.” I say with no hesitation. I decide that I should let Shiro ask me out on a date rather than me asking him. He had clearly been planning on asking me, he just hadn’t worked up the courage yet. I could let him have this one.

“Allura?”

“Yeah Shiro?”

“Want to go grab a coffee after this?” He runs his hand through his hair as he talks and I feel my heart pound as he flashes me such a happy smile. I wanted to remember that smile for the rest of my life. He looked so happy, so carefree.

“That would be lovely Shiro.” I say softly before I lean up to kiss his cheek. I watch as his cheeks flush scarlet before I slip my hand into his. “But for now, how about we look around the museum?”

“It’s a date.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah I know, an Allura chapter? So shoot me i wanted to write some Shallura okay <3
> 
> Song for the Chapter:  
> Different People by Artist vs Poet


	15. Handwritten - Keith

I honestly had no idea what was waiting for me in Allura’s apartment. They had all been secretive the past few days and it had been slightly upsetting. Matt and Katie had been working on some secret project with Hunk and Lance, and naturally; I wasn’t allowed to know about it. Allura and Shiro were being slightly more couple-like and I didn’t want to spend all my time with them so that they could have some alone time. But it would be nice if I could spend some time with any of them.

Instead, they had kicked me out the apartment the moment I had finished my breakfast. I hadn’t been told why and I was beginning to think that no one wanted me around. I wasn’t exactly the best company, so I didn’t blame them. I had spent my day wandering around the area around Allura’s apartment block. I had bought some cigarettes and had sat in the park with one of the books from my suitcase.

Despite feeling unwanted, it hadn’t stopped me from checking my phone religiously. I had been praying that this was just a twisted joke and that they did want me there. So, when Shiro had texted me to tell me that I could come back I was more than happy to go back to them. I knew I shouldn’t be but; I couldn’t ignore my family. Shiro had promised they wouldn’t hurt me since he had introduced me to Matt and Katie but that didn’t stop the doubts. It also didn’t stop the hurt that I felt at being kicked out of the apartment building as I walked back. I may be allowed back inside but, I was differently going to give them a few choice words once I got inside. I obey the text as I get to Allura’s front door and I slowly open the front door and step inside. The door shuts behind me and I squint in the sudden darkness.

“Happy birthday Keith!” I hear the six of them shout and I feel a surprised scream escape me as the lights turn on revealing my friends. The room looked extremely well decorated in red banners and balloons telling me _happy birthday_ but I had honestly forgotten it was my birthday. I had been so wrapped up in the fact my friends seemed to hate me that I had forgotten about my own birthday.

“Keith?” Shiro asks as he steps forwards. He seems so concerned and I feel my eyes water as I close my eyes tight. I couldn’t cry in front of them. Not after what they had done for me. I had to keep myself composed. “Keith, you okay?” Shiro’s voice breaks through to me and I drop to my knees as the floodgates open.

“I thought you all hated me!” I yell through choked sobs. I can’t bring myself to look up at them. It annoyed me that I got so emotional over this, but that was just part of me. I got ridiculously over emotional over things that other people weren’t that bothered by. But having Shiro and Matt be a part of this plan to surprise me, hurt slightly. Especially when they had both seen how I had reacted to Shiro leaving with no warning, and then my reaction when he came back. I didn’t see why they could willingly be a part of this plan. “You all told me to leave without telling me why!” I flinch as I feel Shiro’s arm slip around me. I knew he was trying to comfort me but, sadly, I didn’t really want to be touched.

“Well, we knew you wouldn’t let us throw you a party if we asked.” Shiro’s voice is soft and calming and that familiar tone makes me sink into his hold. “Deep breaths Keith remember.” He says softly and I nod. I take several deep breaths before I wipe at my eyes. I feel my heartrate slow down and Shiro helps me sit up. “I’m sorry for upsetting you.” He adds and I hear the rest of our friends mumble something along the same lines.

“I’m sorry I shouted. It… it really looks nice.” I finally manage to say as I let Shiro help me stand. I wasn’t kidding, it really did look good. It was decorated with red balloons and banners, and as silence settles down I hear the soft music playing. It was one of the mix CDs Shiro had given me, I usually had it on in the car. Had they gone in my car while I had been gone? “Thanks for this guys.” I say softly now that I was capable of holding rational discussions without crying. I really was appreciative of this. I hadn’t been expecting anything so this was amazing.

“It’s okay Keith. We’re sorry we didn’t tell you why we made you leave.” Lance won’t look at me as he apologises but I had noticed that since we had got her that Lance rarely looked people in the eyes as he talked. It didn’t bother me anymore, especially when I was just as bad as him at maintaining eye contact with someone. The brunette however seems to put more of his emotions into his words though, so I can tell that he feels bad, even if he won’t look at me. It made communicating with Lance a lot easier than with Hunk or Allura, and while I didn’t think that I was considered close friends with Lance; I wanted to talk to him more. I wanted to know if it would drain me like it did talking to Hunk and Allura.

“Yeah, the flat was the scene of chaos before we cleaned it up buddy.” Hunk says and I smile a little, I had forgotten how Hunk called me and Lance buddy. I liked the nickname, it made me feel appreciated. “And don’t get me started on the mess that’s in the kitchen.” He says as he smiles back at me. If the kitchen was a mess, what had Hunk done in there? He had been cooking ever since we arrived and he normally left Allura’s kitchen tidy. So, what had happened to make it a mess?

“Wait, what did you do to my kitchen?” Allura looks the most offended I had ever seen her. She had been quite strict on the tidiness of her flat but I enjoyed it. Having it tidy helped me feel more relaxed. Well, that and both Matt and Shiro could be slobs when they wanted to be so I was glad Shiro was dating a girl that made him tidy up after himself. It was nice seeing them clean up their stuff because someone else was nagging them for a change.

“Matt burst a balloon while blowing it up and made himself scream.” Katie says as Hunk moves out of Allura’s sight to go into the kitchen. He seemed rather sheepish as he moved, but mine and Allura’s attention has shifted to Katie. She really was the master of distraction.

“Pidge!” Matt yells with fake betrayal written on his face before he grabs his sister in a headlock and ruffles her hair. I was used to them doing stuff like this back at Kerberos, but it never failed to make me laugh.

“Wait, that scream was from Matt? I thought it was from Allura.” Lance says and I feel myself laugh more. I knew Matt could take these jokes and I see Matt smile as I double over laughing. I had forgotten just how girly Matt’s screams where. I had mistaken them for Katie’s several times over the years, and each time Katie made fun of Matt for it. To this day, I hadn’t heard Katie scream. I assumed it sounded similar to Matt’s, but no one knew for certain.

“If it sounded like a little girl screaming it was Matt.” Shiro’s voice is soft and when I see the smile on his face; I laugh more. I loved how much Shiro teased his best friend and considering he had been the victim of Matt’s jokes the past few days, I was glad Shiro was getting his own back. But, what did surprise me was hearing Lance and Allura laugh at Shiro’s comment.

Allura’s laugh was astonishingly pretty, and seeing how the taller man next to me reacts to it made me smile. I was glad that he was so in love with the white-haired woman, but I didn’t think he realised just how much it showed that he loved her. His cheeks were flushed slightly and his eyes sparkled as he watched her, but this time I wasn’t jealous. I had no reason to be. They had all showed me that despite getting closer to new people, Shiro wasn’t going to leave me for them.

Lance’s laugh on the other hand, had me staring at the dark-skinned male. His eyes closed as he laughed and he folded his arms over his stomach the way Matt did when something was particularly funny. I can’t keep my eyes off him. He looks so carefree and happy for the first time since I got here, and I feel something stir within me the longer I watch. It was like wanted to be responsible for making him laugh more. I _needed_ to hear him laugh more and I wanted him to laugh more.

I’m that focused on Lance’s laugh that I don’t realise that I’m still staring as Hunk came back with something in his hands. I feel Shiro’s hand gently touch mine and that’s what snaps me out of staring at the brunette. I barely take a notice of what Hunk was holding until I hear them singing.

“Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you.” My eyes fall on what Hunk was holding and I blink seeing the cake in the shape of a hippo. It looked amazing. Had Hunk made this? I knew he was a wizard with food but I didn’t realise that it applied to cakes as well. “Happy birthday dear Keith, happy birthday to you.” One of the group purposefully holds the last note too long and I feel Shiro’s hand on my back. I had candles to blow out.

I straighten up a little and take a deep breath before blowing out the candles so Hunk could leave to cut the cake. It had been too long since I had celebrated my birthday on the actual day I realise as I feel Shiro and Matt hug me close to them. Followed by Katie, Lance and Allura joining in. it felt nice to be in the middle of this group hug and as I melt into the warmth I smile.

“Thank you.” I whisper softly and I feel Matt squeeze me a little tighter. I knew I didn’t have to thank them but every time they did something nice for me I felt like I had to thank them. They had chosen to stay with me unlike my biological parents, and I was so scared that if I didn’t thank them enough they would leave me.

“Don’t mention it Keith.” He whispers back to me before the group hug dissolves as Hunk brings out bowls with cake in.  I find myself sat on the floor leant against Shiro as I’m handed the bowl and I smile at Hunk. He nods, as though he understands that I want to thank him for doing such a nice act for me. I take a quick bite of the rich chocolate cake and smile at Hunk. This was by far the best chocolate cake I had ever had. I was going to make sure that Hunk knew that later on, but for now; I just wanted to finish my bowl.

I notice that Lance left the main living room after cake to stand on the balcony and I put my hands in my jacket pocket. I run my fingers over the cold metal of my lighter before I stand slowly. I mouth to Shiro that I’m off for a smoke and I slip out to the balcony and close the door behind me.

The October air was cool and refreshing this late at night and it makes me feel instantly relaxed as I look out at the busy street Allura’s apartment overlooked. It looked weird watching people this high up. But it was fascinating as I watched people busy about their own lives, each oblivious to what other people were dealing with. I lean against the railing and I take out the cigarettes from my pocket.

“You didn’t have to come check on me.” Lance sounds a little petulant that I’ve come out onto the balcony but honestly, this didn’t have anything to do with checking on him. I wanted a breather from the party before playing the games Matt and Shiro had planned, and this was the only place I could smoke. It just happened that I wanted a smoke when he was out here at the same time.

“I didn’t come to check on you.” I say as I light my cigarette. I take a deep drag off it and pocket my lighter once again. I look over at Lance as I hold the cig in my fingers. He seems astounded that I smoke, or that I came out to stand here and had the nerves to tell him that it wasn’t to check on him. “I came to smoke, but now that you’ve mentioned it I guess I could talk to you.” I say softly as I turn back to the view of the city.

“I think this will be our first conversation without other people watching.” Lance says softly as he stands. I watch as he crosses to the balcony railing next to me, and he leans against it like I was. Even slouched slightly Lance was taller than me, but I didn’t mind, I was just destined to be short compared to most people.

“Oh, they’ll be watching through the glass Lance, the three of them are nosey little shits.” I say softly before looking at him and smiling. I tap the end of the cig with my finger before taking another long drag. The menthol taste normally relaxed me but, seeing the bruises on Lance’s skin that he had tried to cover up with make-up meant that I was slightly on edge. Who had injured the brunette and why? What had Lance done that was so bad to warrant being beaten?

“What do we talk about then?” His question is innocent enough but the minute that he says it, I can only think of two questions that I want to ask. I wanted to know who had given him those bruises and why they had done so.  I knew I couldn’t ask though, Lance would never answer those questions straight off the bat.

**__ **

 “Not a clue.” I respond before taking another drag. Several minutes of silence pass and I focus my attention on the traffic below as I try to think of a topic to talk to him about. “If you could go anywhere, with no problem, where would you go?” I ask as I tap my cig again. My eyes focus on him as I ask the question and I smile seeing him think about it. Matt had played this game with me when I had been reluctant to talk about my likes and dislikes with him. By time he had gotten me to answer a few questions I felt much more comfortable with him. And when you looked at us now it wasn’t clear that we had ever been anything but friends.

“The beach. I love it and I don’t get to go as much as I would like.” The brunette starts and I watch him as he looks at the skin longingly. I follow his gaze and smile noticing him staring up at the faint outline of the moon. “There’s something so beautiful about being on the beach as the moon shines down.” He adds without taking his eyes off the moon. He looked so beautiful like that and I think who ever beat him honestly doesn’t know what a good thing they have by being with Lance. He seemed so caring and loving.

_Why would anyone want to hurt someone like that?_

“I think we have very different impressions about the beach.” I say softly before taking another long drag. I watch the smoke as I blow it out my mouth and I blink feeling Lance’s hand on my arm. It’s light, but enough to show concern. Did he really think that this was going to be a sad story?

“What do you mean?”

“Last time I went to the beach Shiro pushed me face first into the ocean. I can tell you that I didn’t think it was very beautiful then.” I say softly as I turn to look at him. The brunette seems to halt for a moment before he bursts into laughter. I knew he would laugh at it, I did every time I remembered it after all. But his laugh seems different this time. It seems more genuine than before yet, I love the sound just as much as I had last time.

Lance seems to try several times to talk but each time his laughter interrupts him. I smile knowing that I had made him laugh so hard he could no longer have a coherent conversation, and take another drag off my cig while Lance tries to calm himself down.

“I’m sorry for laughing by my God.” He finally says and I look over. He was still slightly breathless from laughing but the smile on his face had reached his eyes this time. It made that lovely blue colour of his eyes stand out more and look away as I stub out my cig on the railing.

“It’s fine. I told you it to get you to laugh.” I say softly as I see the bruise on his neck. The makeup wasn’t covering it as well as Lance probably thought it was, but I decide not to mention it for now. I don’t think Lance was comfortable enough for me to ask that yet. “Can I ask you something Lance?”

“Sure.” He looks at me as he talks and I notice he makes an effort to focus on my face this time. Maybe he was getting more comfortable with talking to me? I mean I was getting comfortable talking to him just from this short conversation. Lance was just so bright and happy that it was hard not to enjoy talking to him.

“So, I know Shiro and Allura are dating, but what are you doing by trying to get close to him?” I ask as I look back at my hands on the railing. I couldn’t look him in the eye while I was trying to talk to him about this. I didn’t want to see how he reacted to me being over protective. I close my eyes when he doesn’t answer and I just listen to the sounds of the city. “Like, were you trying to date him, or…?” I add for clarity after a few minutes pass and he still doesn’t answer my question.

“Oh, God no!” He responds almost the instant after I explained myself for clarity and I feel myself jump at the pitch of his voice. His facial expressions didn’t seem mad but his pitch seemed to indicate that he was. “I don’t see Shiro in that way at all Keith. I mean yeah, he’s hot as hell but I see him more like a dad or a brother.” He adds as a further explanation before he puts his hand on my arm again. He gently strokes my arm and I relax a little at the touch. So, he didn’t entirely hate me after that question. That was good to know.

“Oh… I’m sorry… I just thought…” My voice trails off. What had I thought? I had thought that Lance was trying to steal my brother away from me. I had been so sure that was what was happening to the point that I had refused to let Lance into my life. I had been a jerk because of something I had thought, and I honestly had no idea how to make that up to the brunette.

“Don’t be sorry, you’re allowed to be protective of him.” The brunette looks up at the sky as he talks and it makes me feel that he knows something that I don’t. “I find it adorable.” He adds before he looks back at me, a small grin on his face. God this boy was a natural flirt.

“He’s the only family I have Lance, but that’s no excuse for how I acted around you.” I meant it but there was no way that I could explain it without sounding like more of a jerk. I felt comfortable enough to share that much with Lance at least. It hadn’t been as much as I had shared with Allura or Hunk, but I felt more comfortable talking to Lance like this than I did talking to him in a group setting. Maybe Lance felt the same way? “Can I ask you something else?” I ask as I decide to press the question of the bruises. If he told me to drop it then I would know how comfortable he was with sharing with me.

“I don’t have a crush on Matt if that’s what you’re about to ask.” Now it’s my turn to laugh. He says it so nonchalantly and that’s part of the charm in his words. I know he’s joking but now part of me is wishing that I was about to ask that question. I really didn’t want to make things weird between us.

“No, uh are you okay? I can see the bruises… and I’m just a little worried.” I finally ask and I see him tense a little at my words. I knew it would make it weird for us but I needed to know that he was okay. I couldn’t deal with the idea of someone in Lance’s life deliberately hurting him. He didn’t deserve that.

“Oh… I’m fine Keith.”

“Lance, I’ve been there. Hiding injuries from the people you love and the people that love you does nothing but make them worry more.” I say softly as I think back to Shiro discovering the extent of the bullies’ damage one day. He had been more hurt that I had hidden them from him then he had been about me fighting back. “I don’t want to know how you got them, I just want to know if you’re okay.” I say as I repeated the words Shiro had said to me all those years ago. I knew now that Shiro had been lying when he had said it. I wanted very much to know who was hurting Lance, but I knew if I asked that, that Lance would immediately clam up and refuse to talk _._

But, I wanted to know who could hurt someone as selfless as Lance. I wanted to know how someone could look at the brunette and see him this happy and bright, and still decide to hurt him. It didn’t make any sense and I really needed it to make some sense. I had gotten beaten at the orphanage for being different. I was the only half Asian kid there. I was different and the other kids didn’t understand. It didn’t help that I fought back and made it worse. _That_ made sense. Lance getting beaten didn’t make sense.

“I’m okay Keith. I’m flattered that you care so much about my wellbeing.” He stresses that he’s okay once more and sadly that doesn’t wash with me. It doesn’t wash with me because I had done the same to Shiro. I had told him repeatedly that I was okay every time that Shiro gave me a way out. I couldn’t force Lance to accept my help, but I had to help him realise that sometimes leaving is the better choice. Just like Shiro had done with me.

“Somebody has to Lance.” I say as I flash him a grin. I turn my attention back to the road, knowing that what I was about to say would be harder if I looked at Lance while I spoke. “Look, I’ve been there and I’ve done what you’ve done. I’ve had people beat me and berate me for who I was and it fucking sucks. It feels like nothing is ever going to change and that you’ll be stuck in that cycle for ages.”

“Is this supposed to be motivational?”

“Let me finish then.” I say as I lace my fingers together. I was getting nervous now that Lance classed this as a motivational speech. I didn’t think it was motivational, I just thought it was what Lance needed to hear at the minute. “But when you manage to break that cycle because you realise that you deserve better, it feels so good. When you realise that you are the one in control of what happens to you, you gain the power to leave. Yes, when you first leave that situation it’s hard but then it’s so rewarding.”

“And what if you’ve tried to leave that situation before, and it didn’t work out?” The brunette’s voice is so quiet, and I know that it was because of one of two things. He either realised what he needed to do and wasn’t sure that my advice was the best advice, or he was too scared to do this immediately. Which was fine. Leaving a situation like that took time, willpower and courage. If you didn’t have those things then it was too difficult to leave a situation you knew, and go into the unknown.

“Then you pick yourself up and you try again.” I say softly as I turn to him. “It’s hard but all the best things in life are difficult to get. If things get too hard then ask your friends to help Lance. We all love you, we just want you to be happy.”

“Thanks… That was oddly motivational Keith.” I give him a small smile at that. I was glad that he had found it motivating. Maybe it would be the push that Lance needed to leave his situation.

“I take no credit for it. It’s mostly what Shiro told me when I needed it.” I look up at the night sky as I talk. I was glad Shiro had given that advice to me now. I hadn’t been at first and I knew that had to be the case with Lance. No one liked being told that the situation they were in was shitty and abusive. They might not take the advice to heart straight away but it would weigh on their minds the next time they were in that situation.

“Smart man that Shiro.” Lance says as I feel him slide a little bit closer to me so that our arms rest against each other. I don’t push him away like I would normally. He clearly felt more comfortable now standing like this and it made me happy that my presence made him feel that comfortable.

“Yeah he is…” I let my voice trail off until I hear the balcony door open behind us. Lance and I both turn at the same time and I raise an eyebrow seeing Shiro stood there.

“Hey, Allura found twister, we were thinking of having a tournament to see who the best twister player is. That and Matt issued a callout to Lance, he claims he’s the most flexible.” He explains and I see Lance grin immediately.

“Oh, he is on!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A birthday and a heart to heart.
> 
> Song for the chapter:  
> Handwritten by The Gaslight Anthem


	16. Blue Burns Orange - Shiro

Keith’s birthday party was winding down as the clock finally chimed to signify that it was two o’clock in the morning. Allura was leant against my side watching as Matt and Lance collapsed in a twisted heap on the twister mat. Katie had taken herself off to help Hunk wash the pots and Keith was looking over the book about space that Lance had gotten him. My little brother had seemed so surprised when Lance had given him a present but I knew that he would treasure it a lot. It was weird hearing the apartment be mostly quiet given that not five minutes before it had been so full of noise.

I watch as Matt nudges Lance before whispering something with a raised eyebrow. The fact that those two had gotten on like a house on fire had alarmed me at first. I knew from our college days that Matt was a massive prankster and from my first visit I had noticed that Lance was exactly the same. So, to see them both whispering about something and looking at me was more than a little alarming. It became a serious concern when they finally untangled themselves and darted in the direction of the kitchen.

_Just what were they planning?_

I go to get up and look at Allura as she gently pushes me back down. I watch her draw her legs up onto the sofa as she leans into my side more. She was like a cat Hunk had warned me when we had told our friends that we were dating. Once she was comfy there was no point trying to move her, and considering how tired the party had made me; I didn’t really want to move her.

“Let them have their fun, they can’t make the kitchen any more of a mess.” She says softly as I start to run my hand through her loose hair. It felt so nice against my fingers, but it wasn’t enough to distract me from the chaos that Matt had caused the last time.

“He’s probably just nervous because the last time that Matt was unsupervised in a kitchen, he blew up the microwave.” Keith says without even looking up from his book. He had adopted his standard book reading position, which made the fact he had talked even more surprising. Once Keith was focused on a task it was hard to get him to break his focus, which meant that more often than not my little brother would end up missing meals.

“On second thought, maybe we should check on them.” Allura says with a note of concern in her voice. She moves herself slowly and then I see her yawn. She was tired. I didn’t really want the _children’s_ actions to keep her up so I lean across and kiss her cheek gently.

“Go to sleep Allura, I’ll deal with it.” I say softly when she looks up at me. “It won’t take me long.” I add when I see her concerned face. Her eyes glance to the closed kitchen door at a thud and I sigh heavily. “Whatever that was I assure you I’ll get them to clean it up.” She seems to relent at that as she picks herself up off the sofa.

“Goodnight Shiro.” She says to me, making sure to give me a kiss before she walks in the direction of her room. She pauses at Keith’s chair to look at him and I smile seeing her kiss his forehead gently. “Goodnight Keith.” She says before continuing on her way. I smile a little as Keith looks up from his book confused. He looks round a little before settling back down in his chair. Whatever the book that Lance had given him was, Keith clearly couldn’t put it down.

I look at the kitchen as the four of them emerge. No one scrambles to shut the door so I assume they hadn’t burnt something, or made more mess. At least I hoped they hadn’t made more mess. Seeing the four of them together made me realise that the only one that I completely trusted was Hunk. And even then, he had made the original mess!

“That kitchen better be clean.” I say and I see Katie roll her eyes at me. Clearly, I had gone to _dad-mode_ as they called it, but I think it was deserved in this scenario. My girlfriend didn’t want her kitchen to be a complete bombsite after all. “Allura doesn’t want to have to completely redecorate.” I say as I stand up. I did trust that it wasn’t a mess but I couldn’t go to bed having not checked on it.

“Shiro. The kitchen is fine, we actually have something to give you.” Matt explains and it stops me in my tracks. Why did they have something to give me? It was Keith’s birthday not mine. Even Keith lifts his head up at Matt’s words, and I know he’s paying attention because he closes the book too. I watch as Lance steps forward and it’s then that I notice he’s got his arms behind his back.

_Just what was going on?_

“Close your eyes Shiro, this might hurt a little.” The brunette says and it makes me a little nervous. Why did I have to close my eyes and brace for pain? I look at Matt, Hunk and Katie and nod when I see them gesture for me to do so. I close my eyes and I wait patiently. I knew that if this was dangerous that Keith would immediately leap into action, so I wasn’t too worried.

I feel a slight twinge of pain as something cold touches the marred skin of my right arm and it forces my eyes open. I look across and blink seeing what looked like a metal arm being attached to my stump by Lance. It wasn’t painful so much as foreign to me but I was concerned as to where they had gotten it from.

“There.” Lance says as it clicks into place and I look at them with wide eyes. It was such a stark contrast between my pale skin and the metal of the arm, that it made the entire situation feel unreal. It was incredibly lightweight too. This was a good model.

“Where did you get it from?” I ask as I see my fingers flex out the corner of my eye. I look back at the metal arm and lift my other arm to touch the cool metal. I was astounded by just how responsive the prosthetic was.

“We made it.” Katie says softly and I notice that her facial expression is one of relief. If they made it had they not expected it to work? I flex the fingers yet again and watch how they move. “I was nervous that it wouldn’t work.” She adds quietly as I cross to her. I pull her into a hug with both arms and I kiss the top of her head.

“Thanks Katie.” I say softly as I feel her arms slip slowly around my waist. Seconds have barely passed before I feel Matt, Hunk and Lance hugging me too. “Thank you too guys.” I add as it registers with me that Katie hadn’t made this alone. The others had helped. My thanks are met by the four of them squeezing me tight before they all made their own excuses for breaking the hug. Katie and Hunk both wanted to sleep and Lance wanted a shower before he went to sleep. Keith had gone back to his book from what I could tell, but Matt lingered for just that little longer before he looked away from me. “Can I talk to you Matt?” I ask before gesturing towards the balcony. Now I had Matt to myself I might as well talk to him about something that had bugged both Keith and myself.

Thankfully, Matt knew what I meant when I had gestured to the balcony because as I step foot into the cool night air, he follows me. He doesn’t look confused as he shuts the door behind him before leaning against the balcony railing next to me.

“The arms pretty cool, right?” Matt says softly and I glance back down at the prosthetic. It really was cool. Especially when I took into consideration that the four of them had made this from scratch.

  “It is. I’m guessing Katie worked on this by herself at first.” I notice how Matt reacts to my question about his sister and I know that I’ve hit the nail on the head. Katie tended be a bit of a lone wolf when she worked on new projects. It was a flaw that either worked in her favour because she would get loads done, or it worked against her when she hit a dead end and refused to ask for and let anyone help her. It truly was a blessing and a curse.

“Every night and day. I had to convince her to let Lance and I help.” He smiles a little as he looks out at the city underneath us before he turns his attention back to me. He looked confused now, as though he’s realised that he doesn’t know why he’s been dragged out to talk to me. True, I hadn’t given him much indication on what the talk was about, but couldn’t I just want to talk to my best friend? “What’s up though? You don’t normally pull me away from everyone to talk.”

“It’s two in the morning Matt. Not everyone is a night owl like you and Keith.”

“True.” He says and we rest in comfortable silence for a little bit. Watching as people stumbling out of clubs and into taxis to continue their night somewhere else. I think if it had been anyone else I wouldn’t be this comfortable people watching with them but with Matt it was as though my worries melted away. My eyes focus on a woman yelling at another woman my concern about Lance comes back to the forefront of my mind.

“It’s something Keith brought up with me. He’s noticed the bruises and Lance’s skin too, and he tried to get Lance to tell him whether he really was okay and I think he gave the other boy some advice, but he’s worried.” I say softly as I close my eyes. “I’m worried about him too Matt.” I add as an afterthought. I was very worried about the bruises on Lance’s skin. Just one or two wouldn’t have been concerning but the frequency that they were appearing on Lance’s skin and the placement of them that was making me concerned. Every time he left us he came back with more and more of them. It wasn’t right.

“What do you want to know?” Matt asks as he rests his hand on my back. I knew that he knew I was concerned about the bruises because I had already brought it up with him during this trip when I had caught the smaller male staring at some of them. Lance’s cast had concerned me too when we had first got here but I had accepted Lance’s obvious lie for the injury. If he wanted me to know the real reason I knew he would tell me. Lance was that kind of person after all. But that didn’t mean that I was prepared to wait forever for him to let me know the real reason behind his many injuries.

“I just want to know whether Keith and I are overreacting to where Lance is getting these bruises from or not. You mentioned that Plaxum knew the reason…” I explain after a few minutes to gather my thoughts. Matt shifts slightly at my words and silence falls over us again.

“You and Keith aren’t overreacting.” He states simply before biting his lip. I knew the other male was thinking of how to best word his response, he had his thinking look on his face. “It’s his girlfriend.” He finally explains and I feel my eyebrow raise once again.

“His girlfriend?” I ask for clarification. That had to be the woman that had come into the diner during my first visit to Jersey. Lance had stiffened up as she had talked to him. That blonde woman was the one doing this to the brunette?

“Yeah, I was talking to Allura about Plaxum. The two go way back because Lance is friends with Plaxum. And Allura explained the situation briefly to me.” Matt’s voice is quiet as he talks and I don’t miss how upset his tone of voice is. Stuff like this always upset Matt. So, the idea that it could happen to someone he considered a friend just made the entire situation so much worse for him. “Hunk, Allura and Plaxum have all tried to give him a way out. They’ve tried to tell him what she’s doing is wrong but it just seems to drive Lance more into her arms.”

“Do you remember when we both tried to get Keith to stop fighting?” I ask as I look at Matt. I knew it would take the other male by surprise but I needed him to focus on something else for a second.

“Yeah?”

“And how every time we protested it just made him more determined to fight?” I ask and I see it finally click in Matt’s head why I had gone on that tangent. There were similarities between both Lance and Keith in the way they acted which made me certain that telling Lance what he was doing was wrong was not going to help the brunette. He needed to work it out on his own, and leave on his own terms. “I’m guessing that’s what Lance is doing. That or his girlfriend has a threat over his head that means he can’t leave.” I explain and I watch as Matt rests his head in his hands. That idea hurt me and I’m damn sure that it hurt him too.

“Then what do we do Shiro. Come on, impart some of that dad wisdom.” Matt says as he straightens up. He seems so determined to help and I know that my suggestion is going to make him deflate immediately.

“We do nothing.” I say softly and I watch as he deflates just like I knew he would.

“Nothing?” He seems slightly offended at my suggestion and I close my eyes. I knew he wouldn’t like it but if Lance wasn’t listening to his sister, or his two friends, why would he listen to us? He needed to figure out what to do by himself.

“Yes. Lance doesn’t know that us two know where these bruises are coming from. I don’t want him to know that unless he tells us himself.” I say softly and I notice Matt shifts. Clearly, he had forgotten that Lance didn’t know that we knew. “If we keep telling him this girl is bad for him we’re going to make him want her more. If we drop it completely he might realise just how bad she is for him. Just like Keith did with his fighting.”

“So, nothing?”

“Nothing.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Such an adorable chapter. Isn't everything going well for our group :)
> 
> Song for the chapter:  
> Blue Burns Orange by Hawthorne Heights


	17. Headfirst Slide into Cooperstown On a Bad Bet - Lance

I wake with a groan the minute I hear laughter coming from Nyma’s living room. I didn’t remember when I had gotten here but I knew it had been after my shift at the diner. Nyma had picked me up from there and had played nice with Keith, Matt and Katie. Although I didn’t think they were so easily convinced as she had hoped. She had berated me the entire time she had been driving us home and judging from the slight pain in my hips; we had had sex.

I slowly manage to sit up and I look at the new bruises forming on my chest and arms. Man, she was getting more violent. These bruises were bigger than her usual marks and that scared me. If she was escalating just from me going to work, what would she do when I tried to take Keith’s advice and leave again?

_She would probably kill me._

The thought crosses my mind and then I hear Nyma pretend crying in the other room. It pulls me out of my thoughts and I limp to the doorway. What on earth were her and Rolo talking about that had gotten her to pretend cry? I blink seeing Nyma with four other women in the living room and Rolo nowhere in sight. I knew he wasn’t in the bed with me so maybe, he was still at work? The other women I didn’t recognise. Maybe they were from Nyma’s workplace?

“I can’t believe he tried to leave you Nyma.” The woman with a high ponytail says softly as she gently puts her arm Nyma. Her hair was a series of different colours and as Nyma leans into her hold I see the biggest woman shake her head.

“Really Ezor? From the sounds of it he’s been a bastard to her from day one.” She says and I see the ponytailed woman – Ezor – shrug slightly as though she hadn’t considered that.

_Were they talking about me? Just what had Nyma told them?_

“Now, now Zethrid.” The purple haired woman says as she pets the larger woman’s thigh. “We know that all men are scum, but that doesn’t stop us falling in love with them.” She adds softly and I see Nyma tense at the word ‘ _love’_.

_Did she not love me?_

Or was this her planning to set me up in case I left her? She had said she knew how to make herself look like the victim if I told anyone after all. God, I hope it wasn’t that.

“I’m pretty sure that he’s cheating on me too Acxa, but I just…” Nyma sounds overly dramatic as she lifts a hand up to wipe what I assumed was fake crocodile tears off her cheeks. She had to be pretending now. “He spends every bit of his free time with his friends rather than with me and even when I’m away he never rings me to ask how I am.” She says and I notice the fake tears seemed to be flowing easier the more she got into her little performance. I knew she was lying now.

_I wasn’t cheating on her._

The time I spent with my friends was the only free time from Nyma, work or college that I had. And as for not ringing her when she was away working; she had asked me not to talk to her. It wasn’t like I was ignoring her in favour of people that didn’t beat me for saying the wrong thing or something that they didn’t agree with.

“Well, have you got any proof that he is cheating?” I hear Ezor say as she sits next to a girl wearing a headscarf. The girl with the headscarf had remained quiet the entire time this discussion had taken place and after Ezor talks, I see her hands moving rapidly. Acxa seems to take a special interest in this girl as her hands move rather rapidly and it’s only then that I notice the girl was using American Sign Language to communicate.

“Narti says that if you do have proof you should confront him Nyma.” Acxa says softly, providing a translation for Narti, and Nyma sniffles. She no longer had the comfort of Ezor’s arm around her and I could sense that she was getting caught in her own lies.

_Good._

“I don’t have hardcore proof but… there’s a lot of evidence girls.” She says as she plays idly with one of her ponytails. She really was trying to sell the innocent look. “When he’s been coming over lately he smells of a different perfume, and he’s been spending a lot of time with these two girls at the diner.” Her voice is quiet and meek but it doesn’t fool me.

She had changed my cologne last after I had tried to leave her, claiming she liked that one better. I hadn’t seen the point of arguing with her and getting another bruise so I had let her dictate which one I should use. It had smelt nice after all. And as for the two girls that the diner; one was my sister who was taken and the other was a girl who had no interest in a relationship. I had no idea who Nyma thought she was fooling. I shake my head and start to get dressed as I stay where I could hear the situation out there play out.

“That could just be because he ran out of his cologne though. And the girls could just be co-workers.” Acxa seems to be the voice of the reason during the talk and I knew that it had to be killing Nyma. She hated it when people spoke calmly about a topic she was defensive of. She hated it when Rolo had done it to her and he was the closest to her that I knew of. So, I could only imagine how much hearing Acxa use that tone of voice must annoy her.

“I guess.” Nyma says in the quietest voice I have ever heard her use. Even when she was mad at me she was never quiet. There was only ever fury when she was mad, never quiet. This was either a new level of mad, or she was regretting trying to make the four women see her way.

“Is this why you’ve been distracted during work?” Ezor asks in quite possibly the most upbeat tone of voice. It was that upbeat that it even made me cringe. I had been right to assume that these were co-workers it seemed however.

“How do you know about that?” Nyma snaps and I feel my entire body tense. It was the tone that Nyma used when she was pissed off about something I had ever done, or had refused to do. I had only ever heard it used on me thought. I had never heard her use it on someone else and that scared me more.

She had never lifted a finger to Rolo the entire time I had known them both. Any conversation that brought that up with Rolo, the male shot down instantly by telling me that he would fight back if she ever tried it with him. It had always lead me to believe that she had never harmed Rolo. But hearing her speak like that to someone other than myself made me doubt whether that really was the case.

“The whole office knows. Lotor hasn’t exactly been pleased that you didn’t meet your targets.” Zethrid seems slightly pleased by that fact. Lotor had to be their boss. I had heard Nyma and Rolo mention him before but I can’t put a face to the name.

“I think you should leave.” Nyma’s voice might as well be a growl. It’s the second indication to me that they’ve well and truly pissed her off and I feel myself tense. She wouldn’t hurt them. There was four of them, Nyma was outnumbered. She knew better than to put herself in situations where she was at a disadvantage.

If they didn’t know they had pissed her off they would know soon enough. Nyma didn’t like to keep her rage concealed for long. It made me thankful that I had recognised the warning signs and had gotten dressed. I needed to be ready if I was going to try and get away from her. Because if I hesitated she would take her rage out on me. And I had had enough of that. Keith and the others had been right.

_I had to leave her._

“I think we best. Lotor wants to meet with us for our next assignment girls.” Acxa talks in such a calm tone that I almost didn’t realise that it was a command until I hear the noises of people getting up of the couch. I had forgotten how much that couch had begun to squeak over the years.

I hear the front door go and scramble away from the bedroom door and back myself onto the bed. Nyma was going to be here soon and I knew she was going to be really annoyed. It would end up being my fault that Acxa, Ezor, Narti and Zethrid hadn’t bought her lies.

_It was always my fault._

Two minutes later the bedroom door slams open. A picture frame is knocked off the wall from sheer force as Nyma walks in, her small frame radiating anger. My body instinctively tenses as she climbs on the bed and looks at me.

“Get here.” She commands it with such a forceful tone. Every inch of my body begs me to just go to here. To let her have her fun and toss me aside again. But… The talks I had had with everyone but Katie meant that I knew her treatment of me was wrong. I knew that she was treating me a lot worse than I had ever treat her.

So, why had I stayed?

_Because I loved her._

I had stayed because I loved her, because I thought that she would _change._

_She hadn’t changed._

“Lance. Get. Here.” She practically growls each word and while a shiver runs down my spine; I make no motion to move to her. I stay looking at her, almost daring her to move to me. Daring her to make me go to her. “Do _not_ make me come to you _Lance._ ”  She says my name as though it’s dripping with venom. She makes me name sound like filth on her tongue. Like a swear word that anyone who said it would be executed immediately. She says it like I’m worth nothing to her.

_If someone is hurting you physically, mentally, or emotionally and refuses to change; leave them._

The advice that had swirled round my head so many times since I had met that mother months ago, comes to the forefront of my brain once more. I knew the advice was right.

_I had to leave her._

She wasn’t going to change. She was going to keep going down this destructive path until she either killed me, or until I left her. Which one was it going to be?

 “No.” My voice is small and meek compared to the fury of Nyma’s words. Her head snaps up as I talk and I try not to shrink back under her gaze. I had to at least appear strong; I could break down later.

**_If someone is hurting you physically, mentally, or emotionally and refuses to change; leave them._ **

“What did you just say to me?” Her tone is still furious but it’s different now. She was making sure that I knew what would happen if I continued to disobey her with just her tone of voice. But, I had dealt with her hurting me before. It hurt yes, but wounds heal. Scars heal. Bruises heal. I would still be alive if she decided to beat me for leaving.

If I stayed however; she was going to kill me. It wouldn’t be a simple bruise here, or a broken bone there. **She would kill me.** I could come back from broken bones and bruises. I could not come back from death.

“ _No._ ” I say it louder this time. My natural instinct of avoiding death finally kicking in. I did not want to die here. I wanted to live with the circle of friends I had found. I wanted to graduate again and get a good job. I wanted to pick my own clothes. I wanted to have my own life again.

“Who are you to refuse me?!” She almost screams. The pitch makes my eyes ring slightly but I power through it. I had the courage to leave and like Keith had said; I just needed to pick myself up and try again. No matter how many times she knocks me back down.

_Pick myself up and try again._

“I’m your boyfriend Nyma! I’m not a fucking play toy for you to throw away when you’ve had enough of me!” I shout back, realising too late that I had referred to myself as her boyfriend. I needed to stop that. I needed to formally break up with her.

“This again?! You think because you love me that you get to decide what I do with you?!” She snaps it, venom clear in her voice once more. I shake my head slightly at the words. That’s not what I thought at all. It was what everyone thought if I was honest. But this wasn’t an argument between everyone and Nyma. It was an argument between Nyma and me.

“No! I think because I love you that I get to decide what happens in our relationship! This isn’t meant to be a one-sided thing Nyma! That isn’t how relationships work!” It makes me sad that this is how I was having to break up with her. With shouted words and venom spraying everywhere. I would have preferred if I could have simply told her that I wanted to leave and she let me leave.

She seems to shift at my words and she stands up. She was still radiating anger at me and I was becoming increasingly aware that she might throw something at me like she had done before. I really hope that that wasn’t the route that the conversation was going to go down. I don’t think I could pick myself up from something being thrown at me again.

“And what would you know about that? No one else could love a pathetic mess like you.” Her tone of voice hasn’t changed too much but it’s definitely more manipulative now. She knew she was losing me to logic and reason and she was trying to keep me under her spell. Normally, her exploiting my need for reassurance that I was worth something worked. It normally sent me crawling back to her with an apology and a promise that I wouldn’t do it again.

Not this time though.

_Pick myself up and try again._

“Maybe so.” I say it softly, trying to trick her into believing that maybe she would get an apology from me. It seems to work because she smiles sweetly at me and beckons for me to come to her. I stand up and look at her. She seems smug, like she’s gotten away with her ploy. “But why do you get to be the one to tell me that? I won’t know for certain unless I try to love someone else. So, that’s what I’m going to do.” I say as I fold my arms over my chest. I press against the bruises on my chest and I try not to wince as I see her face immediately fall. I had been right. She had expected me to go crying back to her.

“Lance. Think about what you’re doing.” She says as she steps forward and touches my bicep. She didn’t say my name as harsh as she had earlier but I knew this tactic. She had failed to make me apologise by using anger. She had failed by being manipulative. So, she was now trying to get what she wanted by being nice to me.

“ _I have._ ” I growl as I pull myself out of her hold. She flinches at my tone of voice and takes several steps forward. I move into the open doorway of the bedroom and look at her. I make sure to look her in her eyes, knowing that I had her attention solely focused on me.

“Lance?”

_I had to break up with her now. I had to do it._

“I’ve thought about it a lot Nyma.” I start, my brain trying to catch up with my thoughts as they run rampant over the abuse I had suffered at her hands. I needed to word this perfectly so that she understood what she had done to me. “I’ve seen my friends in relationships and not one of them has gone through what I have with you. So, I think I’ll take my chances with no one ever loving me again rather than staying with a woman who believes that hitting me around shows me that she loves me.” I see something spark within her eyes as I talk and I pray that it’s recognition. That she recognised what she was doing to me was wrong. But, as she reached for something off the top of her vanity table; I realise that wasn’t the case.

I barely move out of the way quick enough to dodge the snow globe that she throws at me. It hits the wall behind me and cracks loud enough to break the silence that lingered after my words. It had been one that I had bought her. I knew now she didn’t like little trinkets but when I had bought her it; she still hadn’t hurt me.

“Are you telling me that my love isn’t good enough for you?” She asks. Like she didn’t just throw a snow globe at me and like I didn’t just break up with her. Was she really that warped that she thought that I would come back to her after that?

“No. I’m saying that you don’t know what love is Nyma.”

“Oh, and you do?” Was this really happening? Did she honestly not know when to quit?

“Nyma. I am not standing here and arguing over this with you anymore. Whatever this was is over. It is over _now._ I am going to walk out of that door and I am going to go home.” I say almost exasperated as I point at the front door to her apartment. This was going to be the last time that I walked out of this apartment. I was sure of it. “I don’t want to talk to you again and I don’t want to see you again. _We are through Nyma_.” I say with a heavy heart as I turn and walk to the front door.

I found it odd that I was saddened by having to leave her. Yes, I knew she had treated me like shit the entire time we were together but a part of me did truly love her. A part of me still did. But I had to leave her. She wasn’t going to change not when I had argued this point with her before. If she wanted to change she would have already changed.

I’m almost at the front door before I notice that Nyma is following me. Her hand catches my wrist and she twists it hard behind my back as she forces me out of her apartment. Not that it was necessary. I was already leaving. I feel my wrist aching as she shoves me into the street with dark angry eyes.

“Leave.” She snarls before she goes to her car and gets into the driver’s seat. I stand there confused for a minute until I hear the car engine start. By time I go to move it’s too late and she reverses onto the pavement in order to drive straight into me. My head hits the ground long after her tires collide with my legs, but the impact to my head is what causes me to pass out as Nyma drives away, as though she had never hit me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)  
> Everything was going a little tooooooooo well.
> 
> i'm like 15% sorry. I spent most of this chapter just crying so :)
> 
> Songs for this Chapter:  
> Headfirst Slide into Cooperstown On a Bad Bet by Fall Out Boy  
> We Are Getting Back Together In 2000 Never by That Lying Bitch

**Author's Note:**

> Oh god this fic will kill me. Welcome to the first chapter of "Welcome to Oblivion". It's based of an au prompt that "@loose__bolt" wrote on instagram and I just wanted to write a fic for it so badly. Lauren has killed me with the prompt and I am honoured to be writing this fic - even if it will be the death of me.
> 
> A couple of things:  
> 1) This fic is an emotional rollercoaster. The next chapter especially. Please bear that in mind. It makes me sad writing it, and I know what's coming next.
> 
> 2) There will be at least one chapter a week. You may get more than one sometimes, but it depends how much I can write. Please don't nag at me to update; it makes me less likely to want to update.
> 
> 3) If you have read it on instagram, don't spoil what happens next, or ask where certain parts are. I have missed some parts out simply because I think they would work better later on and when I have 45 pages of notes; sometimes I can't include everything in. But I am trying :)
> 
> 4) I name chapters and titles of all my fics after songs. It's a tradition I don't want to break. As a result the title of the fic is named after "Welcome To Oblivion" by Madina Lake. And the chapter - "The Ghost Of You" by My Chemical Romance. Please check these songs out :)
> 
> I hope you enjoyed it, and please comment on it - it helps me know what you're all thinking <3


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